


Playing with Matches a Boy can get Burned

by FixOrRideDaily



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Demisexuality, Explicit Language, Gift Exchange, Marijuana, Matchmaking, Multi, Mutual Pining, Mutually Unrequited, POV Alternating, Peer Pressure, Recreational Drug Use, School Dances, Sex Talk, Step-siblings au, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Crush, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-05-31 18:09:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 50,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15125045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FixOrRideDaily/pseuds/FixOrRideDaily
Summary: There are some lines you just don't cross. Dating the most important girl in your best friend's life is one of them.*Written for the Until Dawn Summer Gift Exchange.*





	1. Feel the Friction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DesperadoRaspado](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesperadoRaspado/gifts).



> The title is in reference to the song "Matchmaker" from Fiddler on the Roof. This also takes place in my Step-Siblings AU because I am a weak man! This AU owns my fucking soul!
> 
> Note: Real life is stranger than fiction. This is loosely based on an actual event my high school held when I was in tenth grade. They only did it once and I think why is pretty obvious.

“This has to be the stupidest fucking gimmick our school has ever come up with.”

Josh turned to Chris, Sam and Mike sitting with him at the lunch table, looking for them to back him up. Mike shrugged, Chris looked distracted by something on the other side of the room and Sam simply sighed. He couldn’t believe they didn’t share his sentiments on how ridiculous this was. He waved his hand at the information table as if maybe they just hadn’t seen the gaudy sign or their annoyingly happy classmates explaining the event to the far less peppy ones. Sam and Mike looked that way and then back at him. Still there was no reaction from Chris.

“I think it’s cute,” Sam replied, “It’s just like those magazine tests.”

“Yeah and those things are bullshit,” Josh said with a laugh in his voice. His fellow students were being such idiots, flocking to the information table. He might get some entertainment out of this at least, “Why would you base your actual love life on that shit?”

“Chill, man,” Mike rolled his eyes, “There is nothing that says you have to go with someone you get matched with or even take the test to begin with. It’s just a stupid Valentine's day dance thing. It’s for fun and besides that,” Mike paused to watch a few cute girls wander away from the promotional table, smiling widely, “It might save me the trouble of picking which lucky lady gets to spend the night with me.”

“What makes you think you’ll get matched with a hottie?” Josh countered with a raised eyebrow. Mike scoffed.

“It’s a _compatibility_ test,” he stressed, “I’m not compatible with anyone less than an eight.”

“Gross, Mike,” Sam groaned. Josh thought she had finally come around to his side until, “It’s just supposed to encourage you to make new friends or hang out with people you don’t normally. It’s not serious.”

“So you would go with whoever you got matched with then? No matter who it is?” Josh challenged.

“Maybe,” she said with a shrug, “I mean probably. It could be fun.”

“Chris,” Josh moaned desperately, “Tell these fools exactly what kind of mistake they are making here. Please, my dude. I beg you.”

Chris was level-headed and logical and completely uninterested in the affairs of the heart. Surely he saw what an absurd (and hilarious) farce this matchmaking stunt was. He would see having the student body take a lame test to see who they were ‘most compatible with’ was moronic. Sure, they weren’t actually forcing anyone to date anyone else (as Sam said the school sold the idea as a way to make new friends) but you did get a discount on tickets if you went to the Valentine's day dance with the top match on your results lists or with someone you were the top match of. So no they kind of were kind of trying to push it. Honestly just the fact they were being matched in celebration of Valentine's day was them pushing it. Which was creepy and stupid and Chris should see that.

“I don’t know,” was his answer though and he was looking at some of the people walking away from the table holding little cards with test instructions on them. Josh followed his gaze to see Ashley, unsurprisingly, walking alongside of and talking to Matt. They were both scanning their piece of paper with apprehension but it didn’t look like either was lacking in interest, “It doesn't sound that bad.”

Okay, clearly Chris felt pretty confident in exactly who he would be matched with were he to take said test. Josh couldn’t blame him for thinking that way though. Chris and Ashley had almost all the same interests, were equal in intelligence and shared most the same world views. It was a good bet they could score a perfect one-hundred percent. Which meant he would be getting no help from Chris since for the first time ever he was thinking about things with the wrong head.

“Look no one is forcing you to do it,” Sam said slinging her bag over her shoulder, “But Han and I took it together earlier today and it was kinda fun.”

“Why’d you take it?!” he snapped. Considering her current relationship status though he was well within his right to. Sam rolled her eyes.

“Down, boy,” she said actually holding her hand up at him, “I cleared it with Beth. Again this all just about getting to know people. Make friends. Me and Hannah are really excited to see who we match with.”

Josh scoffed trying to ignore the rumble of fire in his stomach at the mention of Hannah taking the test again. He knew Beth had opted out saying the concept itself was offensive. That also might be why she didn’t have much of a problem with Sam taking the test. However, his far more hopelessly romantic baby sister was a different story.

Hannah put a lot of stock in these types of things and it was very likely she was dreaming of finding her one true love or something equally as stupid. If not then at the very least she was hoping to get a boyfriend out of this nonsense. She was probably already dreaming up impossible romantic scenarios and generally being a cliché teen girl obsessed with Valentine's day. Josh could puke from sickness, second hand embarrassment and his often unchecked anger.

It didn't matter how much Sam insisted this was all just a fun “friendship” thing. He knew what kind of pigs most guys were. Mike had proven that point to Sam not five minutes ago. Josh wasn't going to let some asshole use this bullshit game of stupid cupid to take advantage of his little sister. No way! He would kill the guy dead where he stood before he let that happen.

“Okay, fine,” Sam said calling his attention before she elbowed Mike, “Well lunch is almost over and Mike and I need to go and get our history project from his car before class. You do whatever.”

Mike hopped up from the table and followed after her leaving Josh with just Chris. He was glowing red and kept glancing at the events table. He was obviously too shy to just go up and get a test card. It was really unlike him to be into this type of thing but then Ashley…

Josh was just barley still fifteen when he met Ashley. (She had only just turned fourteen but having skipped a grade was in his year). She’d been sent his way because in her own words she was told he had “some good stuff.” Ashley was weird and spacey... in the best way possible. Josh could appreciate the kind of strange girl she was and he wasn’t one to turn down new clientele. She came over that afternoon to pick up a dime bag. Chris showed up about fifteen minutes after her and in a matter of weeks the dos compadres became the three amigos. For a while things remained chill with the three of them.

One day though Ashley must have cast some kind of Voodoo love spell because by the time he was on the cusp sixteen Chris was practically blowing his load at just the sight of her. Suddenly every other conversation Josh had with Chris was about Ashley. How smart she was and how fun she was and how sweet she was. About her smile and her eyes and her laugh. Eventually Josh was forced to sit Chris down in order to explain to him that his boner for Ashley was so fucking massive it was actually kind of incredible he had yet to knock her unconscious with it.

Chris had been half in love with Ashley for literal months by then. Although for a reason Josh thought was entirely ridiculous he seemed simply incapable of doing anything about it. With that in mind maybe it wasn't a surprise he was desperate enough to consider something this idiotic to get her attention. Attention he was somehow unaware he already had. Given the way Ashley was always looking at Chris it was very likely her panties were soaked after they spent any amount of time alone together.

Josh sighed heavily. After this no one would ever, **_ever_** , be allowed to say he was a bad friend.

“Alright, let's go,” he said standing.

“What?” Chris asked but he followed Josh.

“If this is gonna be the kick in the ass you need to make your move on Ash then it might actually be worth it. I’ll even take the dumb test with you.”

Chris looked as if he wanted to protest out of embarrassment but Josh knew the idea he would more than likely be paired up with Ashley kept him from doing so. The two of them made their way to the table. Josh grabbed an instructions card just as the far too cheery students were packing up and the first warning bell had rang out.

He and Chris hurried to study hall, sitting in the back as they always did to hide that they were on their phones. They filled out the online test. Josh wasn't really invested in his answers but as he filled out the questionnaire he did get curious who this “sophisticated algorithm” would pick as his “perfect match.”

Josh couldn't get Chris to share his answers which was a bummer but he didn't care that much. The other guy looked anxious and excited as much as he tried to hide it. He seemed strangely sure he was going to get paired with Ashley. That or he was optimistic they would be matched together. Though Josh was on his side on this. This was a chance for him to finally get things going with Ashley.

That was a cause Josh could get himself behind.

* * *

Sam didn’t want to say it out loud but she felt it. She knew why Josh was actually all up in arms over this Valentine’s day dance thing. Why something he would normally just scoff at and give no thought was getting under his skin. She knew because she knew Hannah. She knew how Hannah was acting and so did Josh.

Sam and Josh had had a… tense friendship since she and Beth started dating. Josh was a chill guy but right after she and Beth hooked up you would never be able to tell. It was strange because while Sam had always expected opposition from Hannah (how could she not?) she had not anticipated hostility from Josh. Hannah seemed to have adjusted to the situation and she accepted them as a couple for the most part but Josh still seemed so far from being okay with Beth and her dating sometimes.

Though he had remained warm to her he never missed out on an opportunity to “keep her in check.” Things weren’t unfriendly between them but they weren’t exactly buddy-buddy with each other. All because Sam wasn’t just Hannah’s best friend anymore. She was Beth’s girlfriend and Josh couldn’t stand that.

Josh might never say it but he didn’t need to. He didn’t like anyone who showed the slightest bit of romantic interest in either of his sisters and he didn’t seem to understand what was wrong with that either. It was very wrong however and quite frankly it bothered Sam. Not just purely on the basis of her own relationship with Beth but also because of how this affected Hannah. So while she would come to regret it later she had been totally sure of her actions the day they handed out those silly cupid tests.

Hannah was going on a date!

Or rather Sam was going to encourage Hannah to go with one of her matches to the Valentine’s day dance. Not so much to spite Josh (although truthfully that was part of it) but because Hannah deserved to be able to date if she wanted to and Hannah clearly wanted to date. It wasn’t fair for her to be afraid to do so because of her brother!

“Hey, there are my girls!” Sam called when she saw the twins by their lockers. She had already cleared the idea with Beth who was not jumping for joy over it but had said she trusted her girlfriend. It took a whole hour of ‘I promise I’m only going to go with someone as a friend’ but she had relented. As if Sam would ever want anyone other than the girl she already had.

Hannah and Beth both outwardly cringed and she laughed. Sometimes it was fun to remind them how weird this was. Sam also found by doing so she made things a lot more comfortable in the long run. She faced it rather than ignored it, which made it more normal.

“What’s up?” Hannah greeted at the same time Beth said “Hey, Sam.” Again the sisters cringed but it was far less obvious. See? Normal.

“Nothing,” she said, “Have you guys seen the signs about the matchmaking thing the school is doing?”

Beth rolled her eyes as if to say ‘subtle Sam.’ Hannah clutched her books closer to her body in a way that was very reminiscent of a shy girl from a movie. That was a good way to describe Hannah. Somehow an almost perfect replica of a fictional high school girl from one of those pre-teen romcom. But in a good way! As in she was cute and full of hope.

“Yeah, but why would you care?” Hannah asked then indicated Beth with her head as if Sam had forgotten she was her girlfriend.

“I’m heading to class,” Beth said before Sam could answer. She lay a quick kiss on Sam’s cheek then was off on her way. Although Sam would swear she saw her roll her eyes again as she left. She ignored it and turned to the other Washington girl with a wide smile.

“Well, it looks like fun, doesn’t it?” Sam added, not giving Hannah the chance to change the topic.

Hannah stared longingly in the distance, showing she thought more of it than just ‘it looks like fun.’ She wasn’t good at hiding it as she faced Sam again. She did try to smile though, “I guess yeah but it also seems silly, right?”

“What? No!” Sam assured, “It’s like those magazine tests we’re always taking.”

“I guess it is,” Hannah agreed, “It’s probably a lot more accurate though, isn’t it?”

“Oh yeah for sure.” Honestly Sam didn’t believe that. She didn’t put a lot of faith in those things to begin with. (Even though all the relationship ones she had filled out when her and her best friend did them said that she and Beth were basically perfect together.) It was what Hannah needed to hear. She also needed to hear, “We should grab a card and take it quick in homeroom today!”

Hannah definitely looked interested at first but it faded quickly and trepidation graced her face. Sam knew she was thinking about Josh but what she asked was, “What about Beth? Won’t she be upset if you do it?”

“Nah, it’s just a friendship compatibility test,” Sam said with a hand wave then added with an eyebrow wiggle, ”It only has to be romantic if you want it to be.”

“I guess that’s true,” her friend said looking thoughtful and then hopeful. She got a little dreamy as she thought on it, “And it would be fun to see which guys in school I have the most in common with…” she got a little flustered, “You know to make friends.”

“Come on,” Sam said with a wink then laughed “It’s just me. You can be honest.”

Hannah sighed, “Alright, fine. I really want to take the test.”

“I knew it!” Sam teased not even a little surprised.

“I know, I know,” Hannah sighed again, “Like this is amazing, Sam! I could find the actual perfect guy for me!”

“So? Let’s go for it!” Sam said despite thinking her friend was going a little too far with a statement like that, “What’s stopping you?”

Hannah looked away unable to actually say his name. Sam took this opportunity to grab her friend around the shoulders (which as Hannah was at least a half a foot taller than her wasn’t easy) and start leading her in that direction. Her best friend just let herself be led with no fight.

“Come on! Like I said, I can fill it out with you if you don’t want to do it alone.” Sam felt Hannah begin to walk with her. Sam smiled with a knowing look as she said, “I mean after all it’s just a way to make some new friends, right?”

Hannah smiled back catching on to what her best friend meant by that. More confident by Sam’s side Hannah agreed, “Right.”

Sam's master plan was a go.

* * *

It was just a coincidence that Chris was heading to get his match printout at the same time as Ashley the next day. He had totally not been hanging out by the cafeteria door waiting for her class to get out so they would end up going over to the table together. He just happened to notice her come through the door while trying to read as she walked along. She looked unbelievably adorable.

Maybe he was being pathetic. He had never felt about anyone the way he felt about Ashley though. He didn’t think he could feel like that about someone until he met Ashley, which was more than just a little terrifying.

Chris had seen so many people lose themselves in other people. He had seen the way Beth would bite her lip when Sam was in her work-out gear. He saw how Sam smiled like she could melt when Beth dressed up for her band performances. He saw Mike lick his lips at the sight of Emily in her tight pants and halter tops. He saw the heat deep in Hannah’s and Josh’s eyes as they stared at Mike in nothing but his swimsuit. More than once he had seen the passion pulsing off of Josh and Jess as they ran off together caught up in their lust.

And it never made sense to him. Everyone seemed ready to have sex all the time. Sometimes it was like they didn’t know there was anything else they could do. Chris had kissed a few people and not once had it been pleasant. He had made out twice as well and again neither time was something he looked back on fondly. So he figured kissing and touching and sex were just things he didn’t like.

Then a redheaded, bookish, hipster girl came into his life. He spent time with her, laughed with her, went places with her, studied with her. He noticed the way that she walked and how she pushed her hair behind her ears. He would find himself staring at her mouth when she smoked and smelling her hair if she hugged him. He laid in his bed and imagined her there with him, kissing him and touching him. The idea actually seemed… nice.

Then suddenly one day he understood butterflies in your stomach. He understood your breath hitching when skin brushed against skin. He understood your heart jumping up into your throat. He understood the idea of _wanting_ another person. Because for the very first time he wanted someone. Chris wanted Ashley. In any and every way that exists.

If he believed in fate he might even think they were soulmates. But that stuff wasn’t real. Nothing in the world was predestined and so Chris didn’t trust it.

What he did trust was science and numbers and analytical data. Which was all a compatibility test was, right? Numbers and data samples. They went to a pretty small private school and he and Ashley had a lot in common. It might not have been guaranteed, him being paired with her, but it was something he would feel comfortable putting money on. He felt like the probability was high.

He rushed forward so he could slide up next to her. He fell instep with her and waited for her to feel his presence. It took her a few moments to notice but eventually she looked up and saw him walking closely beside her. She smiled widely as she closed her book and said, “Chris!”

She sounded happy which made his blood rush through his limbs. He wanted to throw his arms around her and pull her in close. Instead he stretched his longer leg out in front of hers so she stumbled over it. She grabbed his arm to steady herself as he said, “It looks like you’re finally _falling_ for me.”

She let him go and hit his arm with her book. However with a smile she laughed, “I wouldn’t have grabbed this book from the library if I knew you’d be here for me to _check out_ instead.”

Telling each other bad pick-up lines was kind of their thing. He wasn't sure when they started doing it but it had become a safe way for him to flirt with her. It was a “joke” between friends. Besides he liked having the excuse to compliment her.

She put her book away in her messenger bag. With a soft pink blush, she looked at him then toward the events table straight ahead. She managed eye contact with him for a second again before she looked away, “Are you going over to see who you ended up paired with too? For the test thing?”

“Oh. Yeah,” he answered, trying to make it sound off-hand, “Josh and I were screwing around yesterday and we decided to take it. I’m just curious how it turned out.”

“Yeah same,” she said as the table was upon them, “Matt was like really into it so I took it with him.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah, cool.”

They didn’t say anything as they got to the table’s line and waited to be able to grab their envelopes. The school had done hard copies to prevent people from changing or faking their results. Though really they could still easily be changed if someone was determined enough. Luckily for him Brown and Hartley were in the same letter group so they got theirs at the same time and then wandered to the side to open them.

“You wanna open them up together?” she asked shyly once they were sitting on one of the windowsills. “You know so it’s less awkward.”

“Sure.”

They tore their envelopes open, trying to keep calm and not seem eager while they did. They were clearly holding back their nerves at every step of the process. They unfolded the pages at the same time looking at each other and broke eye contact to read their results.

Chris’ face fell instantly. Ashley’s name was on his top five list… sitting firmly in the second place spot. There was a percentage next to her name and he was upset to find he had scored a ninety-one with her, yet somehow, someone had inched her out by only one point. He didn’t recognize any of the names in the bottom three spots and barely gave thought to his number one match. He was a lot more disappointed than he would have expected honestly.

Wait! Maybe he was the first one on her list. It was a high number. It’s possible no one scored higher with her than he did.

He looked over at her to see her staring wide-eyed at her list as if she could not believe what she was seeing. It was neither a bad look nor a good one so he was still a bit hopeful. Then she laughed. Hard and loud. She laughed and laughed like she couldn’t hold herself back. She looked like she was having trouble breathing.

“What’s so funny?” he asked cautiously, moving closer to her. She tried to get her laughter under control but couldn’t manage to. So instead she simply held the sheet up for him to see it. In similar fashion his name was on her list, right next to the two as well. He didn’t know the lower students on her list either. At her number one spot though with a whopping ninety-four percent was the reason she was laughing so hard. An unwarranted anger seized him. His whole body tensed and he stood to storm across the room without even considering his actions first.

Chris was going to kill him!


	2. Adding Kindling

“Hey, Han,” Josh called running up to Hannah as she was walking to the cafeteria. She turned around and gave him the weirdest smile he’d ever seen. It was tense and hesitant. Hannah had a terrible poker face. If he didn’t know better he might have thought she was unhappy to see him. Which was absurd.

“Josh,” she said louder than was needed, “What- where are you going?”

Josh was a bit taken aback by that. Knowing he was making his own weird face, he pointed both of his pointer fingers in the direction that she had been walking, “To get lunch. You see eating is usually an important part of my day. It keeps me from dying and being alive is somewhat of passion of mine.”

Hannah gave him an unamused look. She didn’t like it when he talked like that. Neither did Beth. Annoying his sisters was basically one of his main jobs as an older brother though so far as he was concerned that was a win. Hannah rolled her eyes and that was a nice bonus. Although she was still adorable.

They continued walking to the cafeteria. She adjusted her bag a few times and kept looking around for something or someone, most likely Sam. She gave him her weird tense smile a couple more times. He watched her as they walked and noticed she was keeping a slightly too wide gap between them. Another person could almost fit in it. She kept her eyes off of him as if he wasn’t there. That in combination with her out-of-character silence made him feel like she was trying to ignore him. Josh wondered if she was embarrassed.

But why would Hannah be embarrassed of him?

It wasn’t like he was wearing anything to be ashamed of and he always wore his clothes messy which means it wasn’t that. He wasn’t acting spastic or anything. He was barely talking let alone yelling or carrying on. He wasn’t doing anything he could think of to bring unwanted attention to them.

“You’re not gonna sit with me are you?” she asked out of nowhere. He heard the tremble in her voice as if she was scared he was going to say “yes” and it would be terrible.

“I wasn’t planning to.” He really hadn't been but she looked far too relieved after he said it for him to still feel good about himself.

“Okay.” Why was Hannah this against being around him?

“You doing okay, baby sis?”

“Don’t call me that!” she hissed at him.

“Okay.” He didn’t get what her problem was. It wasn’t like anyone heard him call her that. It wasn’t as if he had shouted it or said it over the mic at a big pep rally. He’d actually have to go to a pep rally for that to happen and not spend the free hour out in the parking lot smoking weed with his two best friends in the bed of Chris’ pick-up truck. Hannah was all about having school pride. She ate that junk up like candy. Had he forgotten some school event? She hated it when he forgot about “important” school events. Was it spirit week already? He thought that was in March.

“Oh,” she suddenly piped up as if she remembered something, “Um, uh, are you staying after school for drama?”

“Well it’s Tuesday, so yes,” he answered giving her a look. Josh and Hannah had been in drama club together since middle school. Why would she ever think he would skip it? She didn’t look happy to hear that though. She nodded a few times as she stared at the ground. He cleared his throat and added, “Why?”

“No reason,” she said with a wave of her hand, “It’s just that Jacob offered me a ride home after we both got out at four but I guess I don’t need it.”

“No.” Josh heard spit in his voice. “You don’t. Besides you would just end up walking halfway home. Jacob has a shitty car. ”

Jacob was a shitty guy too. Josh was **not** letting him drive his sister anywhere. His car was big and had a reputation when it came to the few girls he had dated. Apparently he didn’t remember Hannah’s brother was also in drama club and would be there to intercept any moves he tried to make on her.

“You shouldn’t just get in some guy’s car anyway,” he added much more softly, “It’s not safe.”

She didn’t look at him as she nodded gently. As much as this stuff annoyed Josh, it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know any better. She simply didn’t know how to protect herself from guys who only wanted what was between her legs. That was to say all guys. It wasn’t that Josh never wanted Hannah to date. No, actually it was exactly that. Josh wanted Hannah and Beth to never date anyone ever in their entire lives. That was an impossibility though (as far as he knew) and since Sam and Beth were approaching their first anniversary he’d already halfway failed at stopping that from happening.

In reality Josh knew if Hannah was going to date than Hannah was going to date and he couldn’t stop her. What he could stop though was Hannah dating assholes. He had complete control over that. Who was going to mess with a girl’s unhinged older brother?

“I think I see Sam. Okay, so, bye,” Hannah said the second after the two had walked through the doors of the cafeteria. Josh looked around to see for himself but before he could give the room a proper once over Hannah was rushing off. Sam was short though so maybe she’d just blended in with the crowd. It was possible he had missed her. Why else would Hannah run off like that?

Shrugging to himself he turned away to look for his own friends. He found one, almost immediately in fact. Chris pushed his way through the people gathering around at tables and socializing.

Josh and Chris had been friends for a long time. They were practically brothers at that point. Like all friends and brothers Chris and Josh fought. They’d had some pretty nasty fights too. Most of the time though Josh at least knew _why_ Chris was pissed at him. Yet he was completely thrown off by the face of “I will end you!” his best friend was making. He looked around to see if anyone else could be the person Chris was staring at. However he was sure the intense death glare was meant for him when Chris stomped toward him to stand in his personal space and loom over him.

“Uh, hey, bro,” Josh said as Chris’ fists tightened at his sides. Was Chris going to hit him? If he was, Josh hoped he’d do him the favor of explaining why first.

“You goddamn asshole!” Chris yelled directly in Josh's face. “Why do you always ruin everything?!”

“The hell are you talking about, dickhead?” Josh yelled, getting angry because who was Chris to just scream at him like this. He hadn’t done anything to him! (Well as far as he could remember.)

“The Valentine’s day test we took, idiot. What else could I be talking about?”

“Literally anything!” Josh yelled shoving (or attempting to shove) his much bigger friend away. But Josh would swear he was actually the one knocked backwards.

“You didn’t even want to take the stupid test in the first place!” he carried on as if Josh hadn’t responded, “Sometimes I fucking hate you, Josh!”

With that Chris pushed passed him knocking into his shoulder hard as he head out the same door Josh had come in. Josh turned to watch him angrily leave still unsure what that had all been about. Well, other than it having something to do with those ridiculous tests they had taken the day before. Although exactly how that translated into Chris being angry at him he had no idea.

“Chris!” Josh heard someone behind him call. He spun back around to see Ashley pushing her way through the crowd. The students did not move out of the way of her unbelievable small, doll-like body the way they’d done for Chris’ massive one. Because the former had zero chance of crushing them.

Ashley made it to him looking around for their best friend. She was concerned by the look on her face. Josh pointed his thumb over his shoulder as he explained, “Motherfucker ran off that way in a huff. Who knows what’s going through his fat, thick head though.”

Ashley scowled at him, she didn’t like when Josh made fun of Chris. He couldn’t care any less though after the scene he had made. She put her hands on her hips and sighed sadly. Her face shifted to one of guilt as she looked passed him as if she would see Chris there. When she, of course, didn’t see him her body sagged.

“I hope he’s okay,” she said, “He seemed pretty upset.”

“Is that so? Why, I had no idea!” Josh bit back then let out his own angry sigh, “What has him in such a shit mood anyway?”

“I guess he’s not happy with that matchmaking test we took.” She shrugged and held up a piece of paper. “He saw our printouts and freaked.”

Josh was confused until it clicked in his head. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. He didn’t ask for Ashley’s results and instead just snatched the sheet from her hands as she let out a “Hey!” He needed evidence. This could not in any world be possible. However there it was, his confirmation the first name on Ashley’s compatibility list was Joshua Washington.

* * *

“Oh hey, Sam,” the voice said. She had bumped into someone when she walked through the left entrance to the cafeteria. She took a big step back and saw it was Matt. He put on his big, charming smile and Sam smiled back just as widely. He nodded then she nodded.

They stood like that for a good long couple of moments. Neither knew what to say to the other but neither wanted to walk away. It felt rude to ignore your… friend? That was the issue with this whole thing. Sam and Matt were not exactly friends. Matt was Hannah’s friend and Sam was Hannah’s friend. Matt was Ashley’s friend and Sam was Ashley’s friend. That put Matt and Sam in relation to each other through their mutual friends but didn’t mean they had a relationship of any kind with each other.

This is how it always went when they ran into each other without either Hannah or Ashley around. They needed one of the girls there as a buffer to give them something, anything, to talk about. If not they might just stand there in silence until the lunch bell rang and gave them a polite excuse to leave.

Matt opened his mouth to speak but then closed it and nodded. Sam smiled a bit wider for a short moment then nodded back. She looked him up and down trying to think of something she could comment on. His shoes? His books? His hair cut? Oh! His letterman jacket! Matt loved his jacket.

“Your jacket looks nice!” Sam said with far too much enthusiasm. Matt looked taken aback for a second then relieved she had given him something to say.

“Thanks,” he answered equally as inappropriately excited, “My mom just had it dry cleaned for me.”

“Well it looks great!”

“Yeah, it looks almost new, right?”

“Oh yeah, absolutely. I almost thought you did get a new one.”

Once more they fell into silence with tight smiles. They were pathetic. How could they each have so much in common with both Hannah and Ashley and yet have nothing in common with each other? It simply didn’t make sense. Sam and Matt probably wouldn’t have even known one another's names if they didn’t know the other two girls. It was a little sad.

“Yo, Matt!” Someone to their side called and they both turned that way to see another boy in a letterman jacket. It must be one of his teammates. Sam let out a large sigh of relief she hoped Matt didn’t hear. Luckily he was focused on the other boy probably just as thankful as she was for the interruption.

“Sup, David?” he called back.

“Coach asked me to get you. He needs you in his office.”

“Oh alright.” Matt turned back to Sam forcing an apologetic look, “Sorry I have to head out.”

“Oh no,” she replied already moving away, “I understand. You go ahead.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later then.” Matt dashed off after his teammate. He was out of sight in seconds. Sam let out another sigh. She normally connected to other people easily. What was it about Matt that made it difficult for her to talk to him? He was such a nice guy. He was (supposedly) a fun guy too. So the problem had to be her.

A moment later Hannah almost smacked into Sam she ran over to her so fast. Sam managed to avoid a second collison. Before she could say anything though Hannah was dragging her toward the back of the room where the events tables were set up again. Hannah was strong so Sam had a hard time fighting against her iron grip.

“Whoa, Han,” Sam called, “Slow down!”

Hannah ignored her and continued her sprint until they made it across the room through the crowd. Once there she released Sam and leaned against the nearest table to breathe. Sam was a little worried about Hannah so she sat in the seat next to them. She took Hannah’s arm and led her to sitting too. She pat her back.

“I know you’re excited about the test but that was a little ridiculous.”

“No,” Hannah coughed a little, “It’s not that. Well it is that but really it was Josh.”

Sam felt her face go hot. What had that jerk done now?

“We ran into each other walking here and I had to ditch him.” Hannah smoothed out her hair and stood back up. “There is no way I am letting him see my results. He’d find a way to ruin our fun.”

“So you ready to do this, then?” Sam asked as if hyping them up for something much grander than this. Though from a certain perspective this was a big deal.

“Yeah!”

Hannah perked up which is exactly what Sam was hoping for. Sam hopped onto her feet as well. Then together they rushed to get their printouts. They didn’t get to stand in line together since their last names were so far apart in the alphabet. Sam was surprised to find she was actually curious and a little excited to see who she’d been matched with. She certainly had no interest in leaving Beth of course but knowing which people she apparently had the most in common sounded fun. Maybe she really could make a new friend.

Once Sam got her envelope she looked for Hannah. She was back at their table. She had already opened her envelope, probably too excited to wait. Sam wasn’t upset about that. What she was upset about was how _crushed_ Hannah looked. She somehow managed to look disappointed, confused and repulsed all at once. Oh crap. Sam had not accounted for Hannah not liking her results.

“Why the long face, sweetie?” Sam asked sitting next to her and tossing her own results on the table. She wasn’t that interested anymore. She put a hand on her best friend’s shoulder feeling guilty. She was trying to help Hannah. It looked like Beth had been right. This was a bad idea. Hannah looked over at Sam and then slammed her paper on the table.

“Look!” she basically screamed. Sam jumped back a little but grabbed the paper off the table to get a better look at it.

“No way!” Sam gasped when she saw what Hannah had.

Hannah crossed her arms and leaned back in a huff. No wonder she was upset. Her scores were all very close together with each guy only around three points below each other. There was only a one point difference between her first and second highest matches. Even looking directly at the sheet Sam could not wrap her mind around it. What did they even have in common?

“Who’d you get?” Hannah asked, most likely in an attempt to forget about her bad luck. She picked up Sam’s envelope which she seemed surprised to find was still sealed. Hannah turned to Sam looking confused, “You didn’t open it?”

“I didn’t get a chance to. I was looking for you.”

Hannah nodded and held it out to her, “Well, here.”

“Nah,” Sam said waving it off, “I don’t care that much.”

“Oh come on,” Hannah said moving to open it herself, “You can’t possibly be as much of a loser as me.”

At that Sam snatched her results back. Hannah had taken this hard but there was something about what she said that bothered her, “What do you mean? You’re not a loser, Han?”

“You saw my list. Cool people get matched with other cool people which means losers get matched with other losers.”

Her friend shrugged after as if that was just the facts. Sam couldn't believe this! Hannah would rather think she was a loser than consider that maybe the test had made a mistake. She wasn’t upset about who she had been paired with. She was upset that being matched with him meant she was uncool.

“Hannah, you’re not a loser.” Sam decided not to fight her over her assessment of the test itself. That would be a much harder fight to win, “And neither is he!”

Hannah rolled her eyes.

“He’s not,” Sam insisted, “He is such a sweet guy. He’s smart and he’s friendly. He’s fun to hang out with. He’s funny. Yeah it’s in that kinda annoying way but still he makes you laugh, right? He’s talented and he’s fair and he’s loyal. He is really awesome in a lot of ways!”

Hannah picked her paper back up and looked over her results. She looked like she was thinking as she shrugged again and said, “I guess he is a pretty great guy.”

Sam smiled, “Exactly. And you were matched with him which means you must be a pretty great girl too, right?” Sam elbowed her, “Right?”

Hannah laughed while folding her sheet and tucking in her bag. “Okay, fine. Yes.”

“Come on,” Sam said pulling a couple of tupperware containers out of her bag, “Let’s have some good food and forget about all this.”

Sam felt sad her idea had fell through. Maybe she could convince Hannah to talk to one of her other matches. Though Sam could worry about all that stuff later. The important thing was the crisis had been averted. She could figure out what to do next after they filled their stomachs.

* * *

As much as Chris hated, as in really hated, to admit it he could be a jealous guy. Current circumstances notwithstanding, Chris was an only child meaning he didn’t often have to share his stuff. His things were his things and he was not obligated to let anyone borrow anything from him. It wasn’t that Chris thought of Ashley as “his girl” or something…

Yeah, no, that was a lie. He absolutely considered Ashley “his girl.” But he didn’t think of her as an object without free will. He knew she had the right to make her own decisions. That he had no control over what she did and didn’t do. Not to say he wanted to have control over her. Because he didn’t. He respected her agency!

The point was Chris liked her a lot, in a way he still didn’t quite understand, and he knew one day he would do something about it. He knew that it was selfish and sort of messed up but he wanted her to wait for him. He didn’t want her to date anyone else. He wanted her to be free and single once he was finally ready to ask her out. He wanted her all to himself.

But that wasn’t fair. If he really respected her then he had to respect the fact that she might date someone other than him. He couldn’t expect her to reject every person interested in her while he continued to drag his feet. It wasn't fair of him to assume Ashley would just wait around for him. It also wasn't fair that he had taken that anger out on Josh.

Josh hadn't done anything wrong. In fact he only took the test for Chris’ benefit, knowing he was far too shy to take it alone. It wasn't Josh's fault that he and Ashley had scored so high with one another. He hadn't planned it or anything. Things had just turned out that way. Besides it was nothing but some stupid, meaningless game the school was putting on. Ashley hadn't exactly looked lovestruck when she saw their friend's name either. Josh deserved an apology.

Chris found him at his locker which was pretty far back in the building. Since his last name started with the letter 'W’ him and his sisters ended up at the bottom of most lists. Unless of course he was being matched up with the one person in their school Chris liked then his name was at the very top! Chris took a breath. No, no, that wasn’t okay. Josh had done nothing wrong. Josh was totally innocent. He couldn’t help but snicker to himself. Had anyone ever used the word innocent to describe Josh? Probably not. But in this one case he was.

“Hey,” Chris said coming up to stand next to Josh. He was opening his locker as he turned to Chris briefly.

“Hey,” Josh answered stuffing his books and papers haphazardly into his locker and pulling other ones out with just as little attention. Chris hated how unkempt and unorganized Josh’s locker was. He didn't have the high ground though so didn't comment on it.

“Listen, Josh-”

“Eh don't worry about it,” Josh interrupted with a wave of his hand, “I forgive you for being a douchebag.”

“Thanks,” Chris said with a smile, leaning on a nearby wall, happy his friend was being so understanding. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to flip out on you.”

“Whatever dude, many a man has done worse in the pursuit of pussy.”

Chris rolled his eyes feeling like he might actually throw up. Josh was disgusting. How he managed to be charming when he basically spent his life dirty talking people was a mystery. Once again Chris held his tongue despite the fact that Josh knew talk like that bothered him and why.

“Though I'm not sure why you care,” Josh continued, sounding deeply concerned. Oh right, underneath all that garbage Josh had a golden heart. “It's meaningless. Seriously even if me and Evil Dead had scored a perfect hundred, I’d never tag and bag your girl.”

“Yeah, I know that,” he sighed then continued kind of mumbling, “But you know how I get about Ash.”

Josh smirked. “Hell yeah! She brings out some kind of savage beast in you, huh?”

“Absolutely.” He almost moaned when he said it and was extremely embarrassed. He couldn’t help it. Chris wasn’t like Josh. Feelings like these were new to him.

“So why do you even need some bullshit school event to pounce, man?” Josh was grabbing the top of his locker door, partially hanging off of it, “Lil mama’s just as hungry for you as you are for her. All you gotta do is sink your teeth into that big, beautiful ass. Grrr!”

Chris laughed at Josh's attempt at a sexy growl, feeling his stomach churn and his face burn hot, “I can't just jump in like that, bro. I mean it's not that I don't want to but you know I’ve never- I have to ease into this.”

“And some school moderated test was the way to do it? What did you even think was gonna happen? That you would get a perfect match and fall instantly, madly in love each other like it was destiny?” Josh asked mockingly.

Chris scoffed, “Of course not, dumbass.”

He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and looked at the ceiling. “I thought it would be a good ice breaker. Get us talking about the whole thing and how cool it was to be paired together and the Valentine's day dance and maybe it might lead to us making it an actual date.”

“Okay, I get that.”

“It's whatever now though. That didn't happen so no use dwelling or getting mad. Especially not at my best friend.” Chris shrugged, “Like you said, this whole thing is meaningless.”

“Right,” Josh agreed swinging his bag further up onto his shoulder. “I mean who really cares if we go to one dance together?”

“Exactly,” Chris agreed before Josh's words had fully hit him, “Wait, what?”

“What what?” Josh asked back.

“Did you just,” Chris pushed off the wall to leer down at Josh again, “Did you just say you and Ash are going to the dance together? As in as each other's dates?”

“Sure,” Josh said with a small shrug, “Discount tickets and there is no way I am missing the shitshow that’s gonna go down. Things are going to be so awkward. Get ready to cringe, man.”

“But you're going with Ashley?” Chris pushed for clarification, “As her date?”

“If you wanna split hairs, yeah. But I’m not packing a raincoat for it or anything. We’re just getting our tickets together to save some money.”

“But technically you’re going together?”

“Yeah and I assumed you’d tag along.”

“But you didn't ask me first.”

“No, I didn't because the three of us go to every dance together.”

“I can't believe I came here to apologize when you're taking her to the dance!”

“Except it’s not like that at all!” he yelled slamming his locker so hard it bounced back open. “I want you to come too, dickwad. Nothing is happening between me and Ash and you know that!”

“That doesn’t matter!”

“How does that not matter?!”

“Because I don’t want her to go with anyone else!”

“Right, Chris, I forgot; no one can play with your toys but you.”

Chris was seething even though that made no sense. His friend was right. He had no doubts in his mind that Josh would never do that to him. Ashley would have to throw herself at Josh completely naked for him to even consider sleeping with her. But he also knew how much Chris liked her. He should understand why Ashley agreeing to go with him bothered Chris. He should understand relationships go both ways. Josh not wanting Ashley did not equal Ashley not wanting Josh!

Too bad the prick never thought about anything outside of himself. Josh grabbed hold of his locker hard preparing to close and lock it causing something to fall out. Out of instinct Chris leaned down to pick it up and hand it to him. He stared at the photo for a second before Josh snatched it back. He chose not to comment on how weird it was Josh kept a picture of him and his sisters in his locker, letting his mind wander to another idea.

He stood having made a decision. He took another breath and put on a smile that he knew Josh could tell was fake but he really didn’t care much. “You know what? You wanna go with Ashley, go with Ashley.”

“And you!” Josh emphasized not buying his terrible act, “I want to go with my _two_ best friends and laugh at all the morons there.”

Chris shook his head, “Nah, I think if you two are going together then I might as well go with who I matched highest with.”

Josh stared at him suspiciously, “Oh yeah? You decided that right now?”

“Well, a half-price ticket sounds like a good enough reason to,” Chris answered, his eyes locked on Josh, “Then the four of us can watch the world burn together.”

“Okay, sure.” Josh said it casually but did not look like he believed Chris even a little bit. Chris looked away. Josh’s gaze could be too strong to hold up against. He caught a glimpse of someone over Josh’s shoulder though and smiled widely. Luck was favoring him on this.

“So you’re cool then?” Chris asked looking back to Josh who was finally able to close his locker, “With me going with my top match?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Josh said, “I’m sure it will make Ashley very jealous and she’ll jump right into your arms.”

Chris ignored him. He wasn’t foolish enough to try that. “So it’s cool if I take her? You don’t mind?”

“No! I don’t. Go with whatever loser girl you got saddled with. I don’t care.”

“Great!” he said looking behind Josh and pointed that way, “Yo, perfect timing!”

Josh spun around as Chris jogged passed him to get to her. His only regret was he had not been able to see Josh’s face when he called, “Hey, Hannah! Wait up!”


	3. Sparks Ignite

Josh raced after Chris through the crowd of students, just barely remembering to lock his locker. Both Chris and Hannah were tall so it wasn't hard to keep track of them over the other students’ heads but Josh still had to muscle his way through all of them. Much like Ashley he didn't have the wide body Chris did that basically forced people to bend out of his way.

That goddamn asshole!

Although Josh could barely wrap his mind around the fact that Chris and Hannah had been matched up at all let alone her being his top match he still stayed right on his **former** best friend. He knew Chris was trying to fuck with him, the giant piss baby. Josh’s next class was the opposite direction but he didn’t give two shits about being late. He was stopping this! There was no way he was letting Hannah go out on a date with Chris! He hadn’t made it to her yet so Josh had time to catch him. Although he didn’t have the upper body strength needed to thoroughly kick the guy’s ass, he’d find a way to make him pay. Preferably very painfully.

He was smacked into by elbows and backpacks and was pretty sure he ran right through Jess and someone she was smacking lips with as he chased down Chris. People were moving faster and Josh wasn’t quite sure which way either of them were going. He just kept moving towards the last place he had seen one of the two walking. If he got to Hannah first it would be better. Even if Chris got to her, not only would Chris not ask her out in front of Josh, Hannah would never accept a date invitation if Josh was around.

Unfortunately, Josh lost them both after turning the corner to the history wing. How anyone could lose track of Chris when he was six feet and two inches was unbelievable to him. He leaned on the closest wall to regain his breath. He stayed like that, bent over and catching his breath for a while. He heard the late bell ring eventually but he didn’t care. Josh had gotten into Madison Prep under the many donations made by his father. He’d have to seriously screw up to get in any kind of real trouble.

Once he was breathing properly, he began to leisurely make his way back the direction he came. He counted to ten as he did taking Dr. Hill’s “expert” advice. Yeah, count to ten, real revolutionary, doc. As he did though his mind calmed down a bit and that helped him think.

What was he worried about? Hannah wouldn’t say yes if Chris asked her to go out with him anywhere, let alone a big romantic dance. He should be more worried about whatever other horn dogs she’d gotten paired with. Chris was not exactly the prince charming or celebrity heartthrob his little sister adorned her walls with. Besides they had known each other as long as Josh had known him. If he was like a brother to Josh (and he was) then he was a brother to Hannah.

Chris probably knew that too. He probably wouldn’t even actually ask her. He just wanted Josh to think he was going to ask her. That way he could have a big laugh at Josh to feel better about himself. Well the joke was on him. After that Josh was even more sure about taking Ashley to the Valentine’s day dance.

And Chris was officially uninvited!

* * *

Sam hadn’t figured out how she might be able to save the situation with Hannah and the Valentine’s day dance. She didn’t really want to completely give up on her latest ‘get Hannah to date’ plan yet. Hannah could really use this. She needed to know that she was interesting and desirable and she could date if she wanted. That her stupid brother didn’t and shouldn’t dictate her love life. Hannah could be a flighty girl but she would stand her ground if she already had a date. Sam just needed to get her a date.

“Hey,” Hannah said as they met at Sam’s locker to head to study hall together.

“Hey,” Sam answered as the two of them started walking that way, “What’s up?”

“Did you ever open your printout?” she asked as they pushed through the crowd. Hannah looked her over curiously. Oh right, Sam had almost forgotten about that. Though it wasn't like she was interested in a date as a taken woman.

“No, I didn’t.”

“So why don't you?”

“I don't know,” Sam replied while reaching back to swing her bag in front of her as they walked. She dug in the frontmost pocket to retrieve her envelope. It was a little beat up but it was still sealed. She swung her bag around onto her back again as she looked it over. She held it towards Hannah, “You think I should?”

“Well, yeah, don’t you want to know who you got paired up with?”

“I guess I am curious,” Sam shrugged then gave her friend a sly, teasing smile, “You didn’t look too happy so I’m not that excited about it anymore.”

Hannah laughed as she took it. They had made it to just outside the classroom. “Aww, do I have to give you the pep talk now?”

“Alright, fine,” Sam sighed with a smile. She was a little bit interested to see it. Who knew? Maybe seeing Sam’s results would help inspire Hannah as far as the dance was concerned. She still had four matches left. Maybe Sam could push her to try tracking down one of them instead. “Go ahead. You can open it for me.”

Hannah grabbed hold of the edge. She tore back on it too hard and the envelope ripped apart. The sheet inside remained intact though so Hannah just let it fall to the floor as she unfolded the results. Sam dropped to pick it up so that she could properly throw it away.

“Ooh, wow,” Hannah cooed once Sam was standing, “You got a nice list! I guess that’s no surprise. You are pretty cool, Sammy.”

Hannah sounded like she was trying to hide her disappointment. She didn’t sound more than a little put-off though so Sam wasn’t really worried. She was smiling a genuine smile, holding the paper out toward Sam. It wasn’t a big smile but it was enough for Sam to trust she wasn’t too upset. Sam took it back from her in order to look over her results herself.

Sam had been prepared to see a list of strangers. She had also been prepared to get any number of her guy friends. She had not been prepared to see the name that she did at the top of her list. The bottom four were all strangers and honestly she had low scores with all of them. Her highest stat was only a seventy-nine and in that spot was Matthew Taylor.

Hannah must’ve known most or all of the boys because she was smiling. She did really believe Sam had been paired with great guys. It wasn’t that Sam disagreed or anything. She didn’t know most of her list so she couldn’t pass judgement on any of them. The one she did know certainly was a nice guy. A nice guy Sam was unable to have a simple, normal conversation with. A nice guy Sam had not once been able to connect with. A nice guy who despite having spent hours together felt like just as much of a stranger as the other four.

“Matt?” she finally said looking up at Hannah.

“Yeah,” Hannah said excitedly and Sam saw her go a tiny bit red, “That’s great. Matt’s great!”

“Well yeah,” Sam agreed, “Matt is a really nice guy.”

She and Hannah fell into silence as she processed this. She was less disappointed and more confused. How could she have possibly matched with Matt? They had nothing in common. Wait except, no they did have something in common. They had to. They couldn’t have nothing in common. If that was true then the test would have never paired them together. There had to be something. But what?

The only things that came to mind were Hannah and Ashley. Sam strained her brain to find anything else. Literally anything. They were both… nice. That was- that was something. Although no, not really. Sam could think of a lot of people who were nice and none of those people were on her list. Honestly up until then her biggest fear was that she would get paired with Josh. Somehow though this was worse. Somehow she would have preferred having been matched with her girlfriend’s older brother. At least she could explain that away with him and Beth having things in common seeing as they were siblings. This she couldn’t wrap her mind around. It was also further proof that whatever the hang up was with them it was on her.

Hannah looked worried about her. She must have been quiet for quite a while. She shook herself a little and prepared to speak when she was cut off by a guy’s voice yelling, “Hey! Hannah!”

The girls looked up to see of all people Chris speed-walking toward them while glancing behind him every few seconds. They stayed to the side of the classroom door as they waited for him to reach them. He leaned one hand on the wall and took a deep breath once he was standing nearby enough. The two watched him neither sure what to do or say.

“Hey,” he said again to Hannah before he noticed Sam, “Oh hey Sam.”

“Hey.” “Hi.” She and Hannah said at the same time.

Chris stood up straight again his breathing back to normal. He didn't say anything else to them. Instead he turned around and looked through the halls. After a few moments he looked like he was trying to suppress a smile.

“Chris?” Hannah asked calling his attention.

“Yeah?” he asked back.

“What do you want?” Sam asked for her, “You just ran down the hallway yelling for Hannah. People don't normally just do that.”

“Oh. Uh. I was just…” Chris seemed to snap out of his daze. He looked confused as he stumbled over his words. Hannah gave him a strange look as he went red and rubbed the back of his neck. He swallowed while looking at her then turned his eyes to the floor-

“Oh my God,” Sam almost shouted when what was happening registred for her, ”Are you asking Hannah to go to the dance with you?”

Hannah’s eyes went wide after Sam said it. She stared at her for a moment as she turned a lighter shade of red and looking at Chris asked, “Are you?”

His eyes went wide as he looked between the girls. He looked behind him again. He still didn’t say anything. He seemed like he was thinking hard about what his next words should be. Hannah looked away from him and at Sam again. After a moment where they held eye contact Hannah turned back to Chris.

“Okay, sure,” she said with a smile and a small shrug. Sam wasn't sure which of them looked more shocked by that her or Chris. His mouth was hanging open as if he still didn't know what to say to her.

“I was-” He finally started only to be interrupted by the warning bell.

“Fuck!” He looked behind him. Then he looked behind the two of them. He was clearly torn on whether he should stay or go to his own class. Sam could not believe Chris was actually, legitimately asking Hannah out. He looked so nervous and antsy though. What else could this be about?

Hannah laughed, “It's cool, Chris. We can talk about it later.”

“Oh, alright,” he said before he moved around them and then scampered away. He was rushing off to class and they watched him vanish into the crowd.

Hannah turned back toward Sam with a small smile as she walked passed her into the classroom. Sam just stood there watching students rush into the classrooms around her as the scene replayed itself in her head. She did this a few times then hurried after her best friend.

Hannah was already sitting at their usual table waiting for Sam to join her. She had all of her homework and stuff spread out in front of her as well. She was looking around confused until she saw Sam approaching her. Sam dropped her stuff on the other half of the table. Hannah looked a little worried.

“What happened?” she sounded concerned, “Why did you stay in the hall?”

Sam waved her hand at the door as she half-fell into her in chair. She gestured widely as if that was an answer. Finally after the late bell had rung she asked, “What the hell was that?”

Hannah looked and sounded equally as bewildered as Sam was but not in a bad way, “I know, right? That was so unexpected!”

Sam sat there staring waiting for Hannah to further explain. Hannah had almost been crying over being matched with Chris maybe two hours ago. Now she was suddenly accepting a frankly out of nowhere date invitation from him. Sam must have missed something. Something huge!

When Hannah didn't give her anything more she asked, “Why are you going out with Chris? I mean, _Chris_ , Hannah!”

“Oh!” she said as if just realized she hadn't explained anything, which she hadn't, “Well I've been thinking about what you said at lunch. About Chris being such a good guy and all that stuff and I figured you’re right. I mean Chris is _Josh’s_ friend after all so if you think about we don't really know each other.”

“I- I guess,” Sam agreed simply because she didn't know what else to do.

“And we did get matched up together. So there has to be something between us.” Hannah shrugged, “It’s worth giving a shot, right?”

Sam gaped at her. Sam had been trying to cheer her up before not sell her on the idea of dating Chris! That was not going to help her case with Josh at all! If there was one person Josh would not be okay with Hannah dating it was going to be his best friend. Sam knew this from experience and so should Hannah! Had she forgotten she had nearly gone on a rampage when Sam and Beth started dating? Josh was going to be ten times worse!

“Come on,” Sam sighed, “Chris is not your type at all! Yeah, sure, he’s great but that doesn't mean you should date him.”

“But we got paired up together!” she insisted, “So maybe what I think is my type isn't my type. Maybe I’ve been looking for the wrong kind of guy this whole time. Chris might actually be the perfect man for me. Who knows?”

Sam did. Sam knew that no matter what some silly test said, Chris was not nor would ever be Hannah’s perfect man. There had been enough of those standard bullshit questions on the quiz that the two had probably matched based on things like their favorite fruit and color and season. Nothing that was wise to build an entire relationship on.

“Plus,” Hannah went somewhat dreamy, “That was sweet. Chris is cute.”

“What?” Sam finally replied with an annoyed sigh, “You didn't think he was cute until about thirty seconds ago!”

“That's not true!” Hannah protested, “In fact I also remembered I used to like him when we were kids.”

“You did?” This day was getting more and more surreal as it went on.

She giggled. “Don’t you remember? Josh told you I kissed Chris once.”

Sam rolled her eyes. Yes, he had. Josh made it a point to tell everyone. _”Chris is a slut for Washingtons, he’s kissed all three of us!”_

“You said that was an accident.” Sam reminded her, “Remember? You said you guys fell.”

Hannah laughed, “Wait, you didn't actually believe that, did you?”

No, it had been obvious when she heard the story that Hannah had tackled Chris during a game of tag for the express purpose of kissing him. However Sam was desperate to deter her. She needed to convince Hannah this was nuts. She had stop her before she fell too deep down this hole-

Hannah laughed softly once more, “That’s gonna be story for the kids, huh?”

 _The kids?!_ Hannah and Chris were having kids now?! Looked like she was already too late to stop that spiral. What had she done? She had to reign this girl in!

“Do you think I shouldn't go with Chris?” Hannah asked suddenly looking worried. She must have caught on to Sam’s demeanor or maybe just seen her face.

The answer was slipping off her tongue when she saw the look in Hannah's eyes. She looked as if she might have done something wrong. She was looking for approval from her best friend. Sam didn’t approve of this at all. She really didn't. For reasons ranging from “This isn’t something Hannah really wants” to “Josh will very likely kill him.” It was such a bad idea!

But how was Sam telling Hannah who she could and couldn't date better than Josh doing it? It was just swapping one set of rules for another set. Neither of which were _Hannah’s_ rules.

“I’m not sure you should be going out with your brother's best friend,” she admit then sighed, “But who am I to talk. I’m dating my best friend’s twin sister.”

“So?” Hannah asked leadingly.

“So,” Sam paused. She had to say something. She was against telling Hannah that she couldn't go with Chris but that didn't mean she was okay with it. She needed to do something. So she said the first thing she thought of. “How about you two and me and Matt all go together!”

“What?” What indeed Sam. “Why?”

Sam floundered until she finally said, “To help fend off Josh. I mean me and Matt could help keep him off your case and maybe help make things less awkward for you and Chris,” she had to force herself to continue because of just how unnatural it was to say, “On your date.”

“Yeah?” Hannah asked nervously and Sam nodded softly. Hannah looked relieved, “Thanks, Sam! You're the best. I bet you and Matt will have a lot of fun together.”

“Yeah we’ll talk to him later about it.”

Hannah gasped, “We should go dress shopping this afternoon!”

Hannah was smiling widely but Sam felt bile sliding up her throat. This was what Sam had wanted. For Hannah to force Josh’s involvement out of her dating life. Although really what was a bigger “fuck you” to Josh than her going out with his best friend? So Sam’s plan had been a success.

And she would never understand that old phrase “The road to Hell was paved with good intentions” better in her life.

* * *

"My dad is taking your mom on a weekend road trip for Valentine's day.”

Chris sighed as quietly as he could manage to. That was how Jess always phrased things having to do with their parents. _“My dad is doing this thing for your mom."_  As if their parents weren't married and instead the Hartleys were the Rileys’ latest charity case.

He didn't need his previous (low) financial status highlighted. He knew she did it on purpose too, trying to paint Chris as some kind of “leech” in her home. It was especially bothersome when they had friends over, like Ashley who happened to be there for one of their bi-weekly study sessions. The upside was there was only one reason she would mention it to him at all. Jess wanted to throw a party which Chris would never say no to.

“Are you asking me to get booze, Jess?” he asked, not acknowledging what she actually said. He barely looked up from his books at her when he did too.

“Yeah. Your fake is way better than mine and you look like you're thirty.” He turned around to glare at her as she added while completely ignoring it, “Besides your ugly ass truck can hold a lot of alcohol.”

“Are you really still mad your dad bought me a new ride?”

“No!” Sure Jess. Not his fault her dad was always trying to buy his favor.

“Good!” He smirked, “Josh an- I mean I’ll grab some beer and stuff.”

“Don't just get a couple cases of your shitty, cheap beer. This is my party so get the good stuff.”

“Whatever,” he said as she walked away then turned back to face Ashley sitting on his living room floor with her books spread out on the coffee table. Once he made eye contact with her he mouthed, “Bitch.”

Ashley laughed. She didn’t ask why he had gotten mad when she showed up there and he didn’t offer her any explanation. In turn he hadn’t asked about her going to the dance for Valentine's day with Josh. They had chosen to ignore those glaringly obvious things. They’d gotten good at pretending not to see certain things.

Chris wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing about the Hannah thing let alone was going to tell Ashley about it. He hadn't actually been planning to ask her out. He had just wanted Josh to think he was going to ask her. She seemed so happy when he asked though (or rather when Sam asked for him) he couldn't say no to her. Breaking cute, starry eyed Hannah's sweet, candy heart was akin punting a disabled kitten.

She had messaged him nine times since school let out. The first one confirming that they were definately going together. Three about what colors he needed to wear so they would match (she had used a lot of silly emoji and he did appreciate the attempt at a pun). Another asking if he cared if she wore heels or not and then one immediately after it taking the question back cause he was over six feet tall. Two about whether he cared if they went with Sam and Matt. Finally one about how excited she was with approximately a dozen exclamation points.

Karma was a bigger bitch than his new step-sister, which was saying a lot cause he really didn’t like Jess. Although on that topic he saw Ashley pushing her books away from her on the coffee table. Calling his attention back into that moment with the motion she shook her head and said, “You know, you used to be friends.”

“Friends? Sure, maybe by association, but that was before I had to live with her.”

“Is that really so terrible?” she asked then she waved her hands around. “I mean at the very least your new house is awesome.”

He groaned, “The in-ground pool and high-tech entertainment system do not outweigh the torture of this blended family crap.”

She nodded, sliding to sit next to him on the couch. “Come on then talk through your terrible trauma with me.”

“Yeah? Are we gonna play doctor?”

“Well honestly I'm not sure what else to do about the lovesickness I've caught from you.”

Smiling widely, he dropped his own History book onto the table with hers. He kicked his feet up onto the arm of the couch to lay down and put his head in her lap with his arms crossed over his chest. She flushed, laughing nervously, which was always a good thing in his mind. He waited to see if she would make him get up but she relaxed. Her one hand drifted into his hair while her other hand came to rest on his chest. Her eyes were partially lidded and her hair fell passed her shoulders toward him. If she leaned down just a bit she could hide their faces in her hair. He’d like that.

“Well,” he cleared his throat then pretending to be confessing some deep trauma, he said “For starters, weekly family dinners are a huge pain in the ass.”

“Going out to fancy restaurants all the time must be a struggle,” she said it with fake sympathy in her voice.

“You don't understand. My mom expects me to wear a tie and nice shoes and everything.”

“Oof, that must really stress you out,” she said and he felt her petting his head and ruffling his hair. It was really nice.

He forced himself to maintain a pretend look of pain as he continued, “Then there’s the overwhelming amount of gifts Mr. Riley keeps throwing at me.”

“Oh my,” she feigned concern, “Does he literally throw them?”

“If he did I’d be dead. Brand new truck, remember?” He was joking around but that one actually bothered him because he’d scrapped the one Chris already had (which admittedly was ancient and banged up and dirty) without his permission.

“That was a bummer. Your old one was." She struggled for what to say. “Rustic.”

He flicked her forehead gently with his middle finger as a punishment for lying. She let out a soft “ow” that he adored before he said, "You hated my truck.”

“I did,” she laughed again and it was still great. Then she bit her lip which was even better. “I really like the new one though. It’s cleaner. It runs a lot better. And it’s so much bigger!”

“You like things… big?” he asked skeptically and with more of an implication than he meant to.

“Maybe I do.” She blushed even darker. She looked somewhat dreamy which had to be good. He wished she would lean down further and kiss him. Or maybe he should lean up and kiss her. Both options seemed like a great idea. He almost did it (or he convinced himself he almost did it anyway) when he heard loud music coming from upstairs. He let out a aggravated groan. What the hell?! As far as Jess knew they were still studying!

Ashley looked in the direction of it too as he flopped his head back down saying with actual malice in his voice this time “Then there’s that. I have to live with her. We share a very thin wall and our bathroom is between our bedrooms! She locks my door from the inside!”

She scratched his scalp gently. Embarrassingly, he moaned low in his throat. Their eyes went wide. He sat up fast.

Eventually Ashley forced herself to continue conversation “Jess- she can't be that bad.”

“Well," he said slowly, searching for words, "I can confirm she’s not a prude anyway.”

“I suppose she does like to have her fun.”

“Oh yeah. I’d also like to add that I never had any desire to know what her or her favorite fuck buddy sounded like when they came. But I certainly do.”

“Never?” She had a playful look on her face as she said it.

“No?” He tensed, stretching the word out as he waited for her response.

“Pssh, you liar. You’ve totally thought about sleeping with Josh.”

“Eww, Ashley. Josh and I grew up together. We’re basically family.”

“Seriously? In eight years you’ve never thought about you and Josh? Haven't you two-”

“Yes,” he snapped, interrupting her, “One time, when we were thirteen and never again.”

Ashley eyed him suspiciously but he wasn’t lying. He hated Josh for feeling the need to tell absolutely everyone that they’d kissed. Josh had known he wasn’t straight and Chris hadn’t known what he was at all so logically they decided to experiment for an afternoon. It was weird, end of story. Although that hadn't stopped the asshole from assuring any and all even semi-attractive people they’d met since that Chris was a “great kisser.” _“Trust me. Soft, full lips. Gentle, attentive. Mmm.”_

“I bet it would be something though. Josh seems like he’d be good at it, doesn’t he?” She said it excitedly with a look in her eyes he had never seen. It was almost like she had considered it before. Like she had thought about Josh and sex a few times.

Chris hated the idea that she may have thought about Josh in that way. Although it did also make him wonder if she’d ever thought about him in that way. He was close friends with her too, same as Josh. Maybe even closer. So he had to wonder if she had ever-

“I don’t know,” he said looking back at their stuff on his coffee table, “I told you, I’ve never thought about it. I don’t think about… that stuff at all really.”

“Okay well, you’ve heard him now haven’t you?” she asked suggestively with a devilish look, “Does it sound like he knows what he’s doing?”

“I don’t know. I was mostly just, you know, goofing around before,” he said not looking at her, “I wear my noise cancelling headphones when Jess is having sex. Especially when it’s with Josh.”

“Oh. Maybe I could just ask Jess about it then.”

“Why do you care?” he found himself asking.

“I'm just curious.” She blushed the darkest she had all afternoon.

“Yeah but it doesn’t matter,” he said forcing a laugh into his voice, “Neither of us is ever going to sleep with him, right?”

“Probably not.”

_‘Probably?’_

“Well I mean, I mean, why- why would either of us have sex with Josh?” he asked trying to sound casual.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged, “Things happen.”

“Well, things like that don’t usually happen unless people want them to happen and neither of us wants that to happen with Josh.”

“Eh, I guess, yeah.”

_‘I guess?’_

“I know that I don’t want to anyway.” He heard the awkwardness in his voice and the leading way he had said it.

“Okay, then. I don’t think anyone is gonna try to make you sleep with Josh." She said it slowly with a strange smile, “Are you feeling alright, Chris?”

“Yeah, fine. I’m fine.” He just managed not to snap at her. The back of his neck was burning. His fists clenched as he stared at their stuff. True, she hadn’t said she wanted to but she hadn’t really said she didn’t want to either. It was certainly a field Josh had a lot more experience in than Chris. Although zero couldn't really be considered experience.

He almost violently snatched up his book, “We should get back to our homework.”

He suspected she was going to say something but he cut her off, “Sorry I didn’t mean to distract us.”

Ashley looked almost hurt as she picked up her own history book. He felt bad. They rarely fought. They didn't often disagree on things because they were on the same wavelength. The two of them were similar people with similar ideologies. Put simply they clicked.

Chris’ heart felt heavy. They had a lot in common, him and her, but apparently not as much as she did with Josh.


	4. Feeding the Fire

Josh figured he would catch up with Hannah during drama club and he’d find out exactly what the whole situation with the dance was. The only problem was she didn't show up. (Ashley didn't show up either but she had already said she had to skip it to make up her study date with- Ashley couldn't make it.) It wasn't too bad that both girls had missed their meeting. They were still in the early process of choosing the script for their spring show.

Though he was worried she had gotten a ride home from Jacob. That Josh would not be okay with. He wasn’t the boss of Hannah but he had asked her not to go with him so he would be really upset if she ignored him. Most especially because he genuinely didn’t think just getting into some guy’s car was safe. (Whether this made his anger was warranted or not he didn't care much about, if at all.) So he was more than simply annoyed when he got home.

“Hannah!” he called not long after he got in the door. There was no answer so Josh guessed that she hadn't heard him. He made his way up to the third floor and towards the girls’ bedrooms. It was almost strange. He didn't go up there often anymore. Not since he moved his bedroom to the basement.

“Hannah!” he called when he was closer to her room. Still no answer so he went right up to her door and knocked loudly, “Hannah!”

“She's not home.”

Josh nearly fell over at the sound of his other sister’s voice. He spun around fast to see Beth leaning on the door to the twins’ shared bathroom (Josh had his own bathroom off of his bedroom and so did their parents). She had already changed out into shorts and a t-shirt so she had been home a while.

“Where is she?” he asked, again afraid she might be out somewhere with Jacob.

“I don't know.” Beth shrugged looking like it was weird he even asked. “I thought she was at drama club with you. That's where you two are every Tuesday.”

“She skipped it,” he said with his arms crossed as he leaned against the door, facing Beth. If she didn't know where their sister had gone then he was worried. Hannah might keep secrets from Josh but she kept none from Beth.

“Okay, well, if you're that worried text Sam.” She shrugged again before heading for her own bedroom door across the hall from Hannah’s room. “If anyone knows where she is it's her.”

Beth then disappeared into her room as if that was the end of their conversation. She seemed perfectly at ease. He would’ve thought she would be more concerned about where Hannah was. Though it wasn’t unlike Hannah to run off and do her own thing. Beth also didn't know Chris, who Josh was already planning a terrible, painful punishment for, had played or was about to try to play Hannah for a fool. He wondered if Beth had lied to him about knowing where she was to annoy him as he sent a text to Sam.

Josh: Do you know where Han is?

Sam: With me.

Josh sighed both relieved and upset. He knew Sam did that on purpose. She had enjoyed getting on his nerves since the day they met. She was more of a minx than most people gave credit. Maybe that was why she was dating Beth, to get on Josh’s nerves. Chris had shown him that was apparently something people did!

Josh: Where are you?

Sam: Your driveway.

Josh was confused until he heard a car pull up outside. (What must have been Sam’s car.) He walked to the stairs and got there just as the two of them were coming into his view. They were laughing about something as they made their way up the stairs. Hannah had a fairly large bag in her hands. Sam had one too along with a couple of smaller ones.

“Trust me, sweetie,” Sam was saying as they came up the steps closer to him. “You won't be able to tell the difference.”

“I hope! It was all so expensive.”

“Money is small compared to the safety of our friends in the animal kingdom.”

They had reached him at that point but they only slowed long enough to say, “Hey, Josh.” Then they were back on their way presumably to Hannah's room. Josh followed them after a moment or two. Sam noticed him when they got to Hannah’s door and she motioned over Hannah’s shoulder. His sister turned his way as Sam opened the door.

“Sup, bro?” she said as the two of them entered her room. Hannah and Sam put their big bags on her bed. Sam then dropped her other bags by Hannah’s vanity. Josh stayed in the doorway knowing Hannah would be upset if he followed them in without her permission. Josh’s move to the basement was for the girls’ benefit as much as his own.

“Did you talk to Chris today?” he asked not sure what answer he was hoping for. That she had seen him and he either didn't ask or he did and she shut him down or she hadn't seen him and Josh could nip this in the bud. Chris’ safey depended on the answer although she may not have known that.

Hannah glanced at Sam, who looked at him clearly unhappy. Turning back to his sister Sam gave her a firm nod and Josh did not like what that might mean.

“Yeah,” Hannah answered, “He caught up with us outside of study hall. Why?”

“What did you talk about?” Josh asked ignoring her question. Sam, he noticed, crossed her arms and a moment later Hannah copied her. Sam’s hawklike mom eyes were jumping from one to the other as if she was preparing to intervene should the need arrive. Hannah huffed a little.

“The dance this weekend,” she said. She seemed to stand taller.

“What about specifically?” he asked daring to take a step into the room. From the way their eyes widened the girls did not take kindly to it. Hannah huffed again.

“You know I don't like you in my room, Josh,” she said, “I don't go in your room.”

Yeah only cause she thought the basement was gross. Otherwise she would have bugged him to come in like she did before he moved down there in eighth grade. Josh glared at Sam then fixed his hard eyes back on Hannah.

“Why did you and Chris talk about the dance?” he pushed as he took another step into her room.

“Yes, Josh,” Sam answered instead of Hannah, “Chris and Hannah are going to the Valentine's day dance together.”

Josh was sure he felt his brain physically split in half. What? Not only had Chris actually gone through and asked Hannah to be his date, she has said “yes!?” What reality was he living in? Clearly not the correct one. He glared over at Sam before walking up to Hannah. His body was on fire. He understood that he had been slightly peeved earlier. Now? Now he really was pissed.

“Chris asked you out?” he asked through his teeth.

“Yes,” Hannah replied then added, “And I said “yes” so we're going to the dance together on Friday.”

“Ha!” Josh felt stupid after it came out of his mouth. He actually felt a ridiculous smile on his face. They weren’t getting him with this one. “Real funny, Han.”

It had to be a joke. Sam had put her up to it because she didn’t like how Josh felt about Hannah dating and didn’t know what counted as her business. These two really were out to get under his skin and that was not cool. One look around Hannah's room reminded him Hannah would sooner die than go out with Chris. There were certainly no smug, pretentious nerds staring down at her as she slept. He didn't appreciate being fucked with unless he had asked for it first.

“It's not a joke!” she snapped, “Chris asked me to be his date for Valentine's day and I want to go with him.”

“No, you don't!” he challenged.

“Yes, I do!” she insisted stomping her foot

Josh knew his mind had broken apart by then. Nothing else could explain Hannah actually standing in front of him saying that she had agreed to go out with Chris… for Valentine's day. He had been wholly unprepared for the outcome of him asking and her saying “yes.” He fumbled around for something to say seeing as he had to reassemble his brain first! Finally he let out an angry growl and said, “You are not going out with Chris!”

“Yes, I am!” Hannah asserted leaning out toward him to push him back.

“No, you aren't!”

“Yes, I am!”

“You can’t! I- I forbid you!”

There was silence for only a second before-

“Excuse me!?!!”

The voice rang through the room. It bounced off of the walls and ceiling so hard Josh felt as if he was being physically hit by the noise. He and Hannah had both jumped back. They turned toward the door, shocked by the arrival of the third Washington sibling. Beth however simply marched in and right up into Josh’s face so he was between his two sisters.

“I know I didn’t just hear the words “I forbid you” come out of your mouth, Josh!”

Beth had a finger pointed directly in his face. He leaned back but met her gaze. He hadn’t really meant to say that. It had come out in his desperation. He wasn’t taking it back though. He wasn’t backing off.

“Stay out of this!”

“No!” Beth answered eyes burning into his face, “How dare you tell Hannah that she can't go out if she wants to?!”

“Beth, you don't understand the situation.” Josh tried to say. She didn’t. If she did she might understand why he was being so forceful about it. It was more complex than she knew.

“Oh, no, I understand it!” She held her hand up as if to show she didn’t care what he had to say, “I understand you think you have the right to tell Hannah she can't go on a date!”

“She can go out on a date.” Josh hated himself a little bit for saying it out loud, “But she’s not going out with my best friend!”

Beth looked shocked so she must not have heard much more of the conversation. At least not enough of it to know it involved Chris. Despite this though she turned to look at Hannah and asked calmly, “Hannah, did Chris ask you out?”

Hannah looked much smaller now that Beth was there. She nodded softly with a light glow on her face, “He asked me to go to the dance with him on Friday.”

“Do you want to go with him?”

“Yes.”

Beth turned back to Josh with a determination in her eyes, “Well, it sounds to me like she's going out with your best friend.”

“But he doesn't even want to go with her!” Josh yelled finally deciding to explain whether they wanted to listen to him or not.

“Then why did he ask her?” That was Sam, who finally chose to jump in. It was three on one.

“To piss me off!” Josh almost stomped over to yell it in her face.

Sam sighed then simply said. “Josh…”

“It's true. Chris is just being a little bitch about me going to the dance with Ashley so he asked Hannah!”

“Or,” Beth snapped calling back his attention to her, “He asked her cause he wants to go with her. And she wants to go with him so this conversation is over.”

“Why are you defending this? I thought you said this thing was “regressive” and “homophobic” and all those other buzzwords you used?”

“It is all of those things!” Beth yelled getting into his face, “But Hannah is also a mature young woman with the right to make her own decisions and if she wants to go to the dance with Chris her misogynistic older brother who still thinks it's the nineteen thirties is not going to tell her she can't!”

Josh turned to Hannah with pleading eyes, deciding to ignore Beth. “Come on, sis, you know me. You know I’m only looking out for you. That I care about you.”

Hannah’s face softened, “Yeah, I know…”

Good, he’d gotten through to her. “So trust me when I say he’s just going to ruin your whole night. He doesn't even want to go with you.”

Whatever it was he had done to gain Hannah’s favor he lost it with those words. She pushed him back as she yelled, “How do you know?”

“Because he doesn't. He likes Ashley, not you.”

“Well he didn't ask Ashley, he asked me!”

“Only cause she’s going with me!”

“You know what, Josh? Not everything is about you!” she yelled shoving him out of her room. Hannah's door slammed shut in his face.

“But this actually is about me!”

* * *

Hannah was set for her big date on Friday. Seeing her literally shove her brother out of the conversation had been a beautiful thing to watch. Beth coming in like a firecracker was a (sexy) bonus too. Sam understood where Josh was most likely coming from on multiple levels but that didn’t make him right. Still Hannah might have been willing to bend to his wishes but as Sam had guessed having a date gave her the gall to refuse. She was proud of her friend for standing her ground.

“You think I hurt Josh’s feelings yesterday?” she asked at lunch the next day.

“Maybe but it’s kind of his fault, don’t you think?” Sam assured her as she dug into the vegan meal she and Hannah were sharing. “Josh doesn’t have the right to say you can’t go to the dance with whoever you want to go with.”

“Yeah, I guess that is true.” Hannah looked unsure as she scooped up a spoonful but didn’t eat it. Hannah loved Sam’s mom’s cooking so most days Sam brought enough food for her too. “But I mean he’s just looking out for me. Josh cares so much about me. He doesn’t want me to get hurt.”

“And Chris is gonna hurt you? How?”

“I don’t know,” she answered before taking that bite. Sam dropped her own fork back into the container and put a hand on Hannah’s shoulder. She turned her way still looking unsure and Sam gave her a soft smile.

“Han, Chris would be the last guy in the world to treat any girl badly,” Sam almost laughed because it wasn’t even a stretch let alone a lie, “He’s probably the best guy either of us knows. He would never hurt anybody. Whatever kind of guy you are scared of, Chris is not him.”

Hannah smiled shyly with another of those blushes, “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Chris is a total gentleman.”

“Yeah, so no worries, girl.” Sam said watching Hannah go somewhat lovestruck… over Chris. Yeah that was still weird. Hannah and Chris? Sam just couldn’t get her mind around it. However he had asked her and she said “yes” so it was starting to look like something that could happen. (Even though like Josh said Ashley had confessed to Sam a few different times how she felt about Chris and Sam had always thought he felt the same way.) Sam wondered if she might actually have to get used to the idea of Chris as Hannah’s boyfriend.

No, no it was still too out there. She would deal with that if and when she had to.

“Oh, oh hey, there he is,” Hannah said suddenly raising her hand high, “Hey! Hey! Over here!”

Sam looked around to see who she was calling to. For a couple of wild minutes she thought Hannah was waving Chris over. Sam wasn’t sure if she was relieved or not when she saw who Hannah was actually calling to. She had a good guess as to why she was signaling him to join them.

Sam hadn’t actually been able to bring herself to talk to Matt about them going to the dance even though she promised Hannah the four of them would go together. She had regret the words seconds after they left her mouth and had been hoping maybe Hannah had forgotten. The way she was frantically waving her other friend over to them it didn’t look like she had.

“You made it!” she said happily as she slid over to let him sit down. Matt plopped down next to her putting Hannah between himself and Sam. He smiled widely but it fell a little when he saw Sam was sitting there too. He pushed it back on after a second or two and gave a nod.

“Yeah, hey. And uh, hey, Sam.”

“Hey, Matt,” she answered with the same smile and nod she always gave him. Seriously? Other than being fit and nice how were they anything alike. It didn’t make even the smallest amount of sense.

“So…” he said turning back to Hannah, “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh, I wanted to talk to you about the Valentine’s day dance on Friday,” she said clapping her hands together with a wide smile. Sam felt her body fill with shame. She really shouldn’t have told Hannah that she and Matt would go as her buffers. Even if Matt was willing that still meant Sam had to spend her night with him.

“Yeah?” he asked and Sam noticed a glow come over his face. He smiled in a bit of a smug way Sam wasn’t sure she had ever actually seen. It was somehow shy and confident at the same time. It looked good on him.

“Yeah, you haven’t talked to anybody about going with them yet, have you?” Hannah asked looking hopeful and Matt smiled even wider.

“Not yet,” he answered with a shrug, “You’re my top match so I was actually waiting to talk to you.”

What? Sam wasn’t even his top result! How was it Hannah had been number one on two guys’ lists? Far as Sam knew she wasn’t first on anyone’s list. She really was happy she already had Beth. If she didn’t then this whole process would have been terrible for her self esteem. (Though truthfully it still kind of was.)

“Really?” Hannah laughed and Matt’s smile grew wider still, “You’re on my list too which I guess makes sense since we’re such good friends.”

“I figured that.”

“Sam got you as her top match,” Hannah said leaning back so Matt could see Sam on her other side. “Right, Sam?”

“Oh. Yeah, I did,” Sam said once she and Matt made eye contact. That was when Matt looked confused. Sam wondered if he was also trying to figure out how that could be possible. He certainly looked like he was thinking hard about this new bit of information. His smile fell a little too.

“Really? Weird,” he said, “I mean not too weird. You’re on my list too Sam. Though I guess that makes sense with me on yours.”

“Great!” Hannah clapped her hands together, “So then you want to go to the dance with us?”

She gave him a huge sugary smile and stared right at him with eyes that shined with the hope of a child asking for ice cream. Sam tried to smile behind her as brightly as she could manage. She reminded herself that while there was no way she and Matt were soulmates there had to be something they had in common or they wouldn't have been matched up with one another. Sam's secondary goal in all this (after wingmanning Hannah under Josh's nose) had been to make friends. Who better was there for her to try and get to know than her best friend’s other close friend?

Matt looked between them, clearly confused as he asked, “Uh, with both of you?”

“Oh,” Hannah said looking embarrassed, “No, no just Sam. Not me. I have a date. But we’d all be going together!”

Sam absolutely saw Matt's face fall after she said that. Wow, Matt must’ve really disliked her. Sam felt insulted. She was willing to give friendship a try (if for no other reason than for Hannah’s sake) he could at least consider doing the same. Matt shifted in his seat.

“What about Beth?” he asked with a smile that was still charming if slightly more reserved than before.

“It would just be as friends.” Sam tried to stress the last word when she said it. Matt’s eyes flicked her way and then back to look at Hannah.

“Who's your date?”

“I matched highest with Chris so we’re going together.”

“Chris?” Matt looked both shocked and sad. That was when Sam understood that she was not the source of his disappointment over the dance. This was something she would have never guessed. Hannah and Matt? Then again for as well as she knew Hannah, she didn't really know Matt. She wondered if her friend saw what she did.

But Hannah simply giggled with that same look of infatuation on her face she had been getting whenever Chris’ name came up in conversation recently. It was hard to believe just how into him she was all of a sudden. Nothing about that sat right with Sam. But again it wasn't Sam’s place to tell her not to date who she wanted. She wasn't Josh.

“I know crazy, right?” she was finally able to say. “Who would’ve thought? I guess these things have a way of blindsiding you.”

Matt nodded and Hannah definitely did not see that this was not where he had been hoping this would go when she summoned him. Still he smiled around her at Sam and he said, “I guess it might be cool to go out as friends together with Hannah and Chris.”

He sounded so sad when he said Chris’ name. She should turn him down because he clearly wasn't interested in going with her as much as he was interested in keeping an eye on the other couple. Ever the peace keeper though she knew if she didn't keep Josh in check things would be very bad for Hannah and probably much worse for Chris.

Sam felt a little cheated though. She had a right to have fun at the dance too and not play babysitter. Oh well, she and Beth would just have to make up for it when they properly celebrated the holiday together Saturday. The dance was being held on the thirteenth not the actual holiday.

“Yeah! Exactly!” Hannah clapped her hands again, “We’re going to have so much fun together!”

She threw an arm around both of them and hugged them close. Once she had them near she whispered, “Thanks so much for this, guys!”

Sam saw Matt across from her in Hannah's bear hug and she felt bad for the guy. It looked like he had caught on to the fact that Hannah needed them as buffers. Which meant if she could then she would be going with Chris alone. Being aware he was just a cover up for Hannah’s real date must suck if Sam’s assumption about him was right and he was crushing on her. Sam decided then she would try her best to make sure both Hannah and Matt had a good night.

She really needed to plug up that bleeding heart of hers.

* * *

“Hey there, incredible hulk,” Ashley said in a playful voice as she approached him as they were entering the school building. She took a few extra long steps to get beside him. He slowed down so they could walk together, “Are you done with your whole “you won't like me when I'm angry” shtick yet?”

“What does that mean?” he asked annoyed. She could be judgemental at times. It was one of the few things about her that he genuinely disliked.

Ashley shrugged, “You’ve been in a kinda mood lately. I guess that was a bad way to ask if you’re feeling any better.”

“Yeah, it was.” Although he still reached forward to open the door for her when they got there despite being annoyed with her.

“Well then are you feeling any better today?” she attempted again as they walked towards their lockers.

“I wasn't feeling bad,” he lied. She didn't turn off after the art display case so she was following him to his locker not going to her own and that felt like a bad sign.

“Okay,” she scoffed, “You were ready to take Jess’ head off yesterday afternoon.”

“I told you already,” he said. She was pressed to his side to take advantage of the way people shifted out of his way. Despite his current feelings he liked having her close to him, “I don't like living with Jess.”

“Yeah but that was a little…”

“A little what?” he challenged with venom in his voice. His locker was in sight.

“Nothing,” she almost stammered, “Nevermind.”

They were quiet as they walked up to his locker and he opened it. She just stood there as he organized his stuff for the day. She rocked on her feet as she watched him get his things. He got the feeling she wanted to say something so he sighed and turned to her.

“What?”

“Are you mad Josh and I scored so high on the test we all took?” she finally asked with a bright red face.

Chris stopped what he was doing and stared at her. She looked like a squirrel sat frozen in the front lawn acting as if any movement was threatening. He furrowed his brow. That was unexpectedly bold of her.

“Why would that upset me?” he asked instead of answering. She gripped her bag strap until her hands looked painfully tense. She looked at the floor then back up at him.

“I don't know,” Ashley said quietly, “I thought maybe you were hoping we would be each other's top match or something.”

Chris continued to stare as he locked his locker. Where was this sudden drive to talk about them coming from? They didn't talk about them. Worst of all why was she the one starting the conversation? That wasn’t how it- He- he was supposed to do it.

“I guess yeah, maybe I thought we would score highest.” He fixed his book bag on his back but made no move to leave. He clicked his tongue, “It doesn't feel so great knowing you might be closer to Josh. I always thought you and I got along a lot better than you and him.”

“We do, silly. Some test doesn't change that.” She sounded disappointed he had not confessed his unspoken attraction to her. It looked like she might have been hoping he would admit to the strong desire he had for her. Maybe he should.

“Josh is cool and all but,” she said it as she somehow grew cuter by the second, “What we have is… special.”

“Yeah, that's a good word for it,” he answered. He should tell her. No better still, he should just kiss her. He should pull her in close to his body so he could feel as much of her as possible as he kissed her.

“Yeah, I mean going to the dance with just Josh wouldn't be any fun,” she said looking away, “I want you to be there, too.”

He deflated immediately, “I’m actually- I'm not going to the dance with you guys. Did Josh not tell you that?”

She deflated only second after. “No. No, he didn't.”

“Well, sorry Ash, but I uh I can't go with you guys.”

She sighed and looked almost mad, “This isn't because you guys are still fighting, is it? There's no way you are still mad at him over the cupid test thing.”

Chris was very much still mad at Josh actually. Not for scoring high on the test with Ashley of course but for agreeing to go with her to the dance when he knew how Chris felt about her. It wasn't the reason he couldn't go with her though.

“No, it's not that.” He started to head to his first class and she hurried to follow after him hoping to keep the conversation going. At this rate she was going to be late to homeroom. (A period he unfortunately shared with Josh.)

“What is it then?” she asked, lagging behind him. He stopped at a corner and faced her again.

“I have a date,” he admit forcing himself to maintain eye contact, only to wish that he hadn't.

Ashley was not great at hiding her emotions so Chris knew exactly how she felt about that. Short answer: She was devastated. She was biting her lip to keep from making any embarrassing sounds of sadness. Her eyes looked like a lost doe’s eyes. Her head tilted forward and her hair fell into her face. She looked so very small and vulnerable. All he wanted to do was pull her to him and kiss her forehead while telling her it was all okay. Even if he was brave enough there was no way she’d let him.

“It's- It's just as friends though,” he tried to reassure her. While some of the light came back to her face it was clear she didn't totally believe him. That or she was still hurt that he would even go as friends with anyone other than her (and Josh).

“Well yeah. I figured,” she tried to force a laugh into her voice, “You're basically a confirmed bachelor for life.”

“What does that mean?” he asked unsure how he felt about the implication.

“In the entire time I’ve known you you’ve never crushed on anyone. “Never been interested in any of the fairer or tougher sexes” according to Josh.”

She sighed before he could respond as if she had just gotten some terrible news, “Which, that’s totally fine. I get it. That you don't like to- You're not into dating.”

He wasn't sure what to say. She wasn't exactly wrong. She was just missing a key part of all that. ‘Until you.’

However no matter how hard he tried to make himself say it, he still wasn't ready to tell her. He still didn't know how to say it to her, ‘I’ve never wanted something like that before I met you. Now I want it more than anything. Just only with you.’

He didn't have a real chance to explain himself though as the first warning bell rang out around them. They both looked up toward the sound before they met eyes again. With a tiny smile and another even tinier sigh Ashley took a step back from him, saying, “I have to get to my homeroom. I guess I'll see you at lunch.”

He nodded as she turned around and dashed off. He watched her until she was completely gone then turned to walk to his homeroom. Hopefully Josh would give him peace. Maybe Beth would keep Josh under control as she also shared first period with them. He doubted Hannah hadn't told her about their, ugh, their date.

Chris didn't want to go out with Hannah. He had never liked Hannah like that and he was sure that was not going to change ever. He quite literally had a heart that only beat for Ashley. At least so far it had only ever beat for her. There was a time he was sure it would never beat for anyone. However conveying those feelings wasn't something Chris understood how to do.


	5. Beware the Blaze

“Leave her alone.”

It had been the first thing Beth said to him that morning. She hadn't said much else to him since. He got the impression Beth would not be taking her eyes off of him after what he had said to Hannah. As much as he knew his two little sisters loved him and as much he loved them in return he knew when it came down to it then it would always be Beth and Hannah vs. Josh. If it wasn't the bond between sisters then it was the bond between twins. Summary version: Beth wasn't letting him anywhere near Hannah. At least not until after Friday had come and gone.

When Chris walked into homeroom class and took a seat far from his usual one (and therefore also far away from Josh) he paid the guy no mind. He didn't make eye contact with Josh. Hopefully he didn't see that Josh was watching him either. Chris stared at his desk. He didn't look up the entire time. Josh doubted he saw Josh even giving him any attention let alone felt threatened by it. He looked lost and sad and lonely.

Josh felt his blood boil just looking at him. Oh yeah, he looked thrilled to be going to the dance with Hannah. Josh didn’t like the idea of some sleezeball breaking his baby sister’s heart. However even more than that he hated the idea of Chris doing it. Which is exactly what was going to happen. It was an ultimate betrayal. Chris knew how much Josh worried about his sisters and dating. Soft, sheltered, delicate Hannah more so than Beth as well. Beth refused to let him intervene on Hannah’s side but that didn’t mean he couldn’t bring the heat down on Chris.

That was exactly what Josh planned to do as well.

To his luck Beth, who had sat in what was usually Chris’ seat, ended up leaving to go to the bathroom early during class. She glared at him as she stood up and said as threateningly as she could, “Don’t you dare try anything while I’m gone.”

Josh just smiled and shrugged. Beth glared harder but he could tell she really had to go and she wasn’t going to hang around. She hissed, “I mean it!” before she went to get the bathroom pass before the announcements started and they would not be allowed to leave.

As soon as she was out the door and their teacher, Ms. Connolly, had her eyes turned away Josh hopped up from his spot and hurried over to the other side of the room. He wasn’t worried, Ms. Connolly was pretty lenient. Chris was sitting in the far back. All the seats around him were empty. Josh sat at the desk right in front Chris and turned around to face him. He called his attention by loudly letting his books drop on the desk.

Chris’ eyes popped up right away and in seconds he met Josh’s gaze. He sighed an angry sigh and asked harshly in a whisper, “What do you want?”

“Really?” Josh asked back in a whisper even lower than his, “Are we doing that? Going back and forth when we both know why I’m here?”

“Fine.” It was hard for him to snap at this volume but he tried, “Just say whatever you want to say.”

“You can’t take Hannah to the dance.” Josh said it like it was simply a fact of life and not something Chris or Hannah had any choice in. He crossed his arms after as if that was that. Because it was.

Chris groaned, “It’s a little late for this.”

“No, it’s not.” Josh leaned over the back of his chair towards Chris, glaring at him.

Chris looked at him confused and annoyed, “Look I wasn’t planning to ask her but it just happened, okay? I can’t undo it. Sorry that bothers you but there’s nothing I can do about it now.”

“You could not take her,” Josh hissed almost too loudly, “Which by the way is what you’re going to do.”

Chris looked at him in disbelief, “You want me to cancel on her?”

“Yeah.” Josh said it with an “uh, duh” tone in his voice.

Chris half-snorted like he couldn’t believe what Josh was suggesting. “That would crush her. She’s been texting me basically non-stop since I asked her. She’s really excited for it. I’m not gonna ditch her like that, especially not on Valentine’s day.”

Josh tried to contain his anger over the fact that apparently Hannah was more than just a little happy to be going out with Chris. “You can not take my sister to a Valentine’s day dance.”

“Could you relax? It’s not like it’s a date. I’m taking her as a friend.”

Josh felt something inside of him snap after that. “You goddamn hypocrite!”

Chris flinched. Josh saw several other students turn their way. Apparently he had dropped his quiet tone and the words had come out as powerfully as he felt them. He didn’t really care though. He’d had way more than his fill of Chris’ immature and idiotic bullshit!

“You actually think you can go as just friends with my baby sister but I can’t go as just friends with Ashley!”

“Me going with Hannah is completely different than you going with Ashley!”

“You’re right! I asked Ashley to go with me because I want to hang out together and not as some kinda twisted revenge plot.”

“Mr. Washington! Mr. Hartley!” Ms. Connolly said on the other side of the room, “Leave your personal drama out of my classroom and calm down!”

Ignoring her, Chris literally stood to get in his face, “Yeah, sure, Josh. I absolutely believe you asking Ash to go with you was totally innocent! Because I’m a moron who doesn’t know how much of a uncontrollable fuckboy you are!”

“Me?!” Josh got to his feet as well in order to meet Chris’ ugly stare, “You’re the one being a vindictive prick all because you’ve finally met someone who actually makes that useless dick of yours hard!”

Distantly Josh heard their teacher yell once again at them to sit down. Chris was gritting his teeth, breathing heavily and Josh felt his hands curling into fists until his knuckles cracked. He actually believed for a minute one of them was going to throw a punch. It seemed like they were both gearing up for it. That was until a third person pushed between them and shoved them apart.

“What the hell is wrong with you two?” Beth scolded, “What are you gonna do? Beat each other up right here in the classroom? Yeah, that will solve everything.”

“Stay out of this, Elizabeth!” Josh regretted saying it moments later. Beth looked like she was more than willing to let Chris kick his ass after using her given name. In fact she might even help him.

Before Beth could properly respond though Ms. Connolly had made her way over to their group and pushed her way into the center. That seemed to snap them all back into their senses. She turned to Beth first, “Miss Washington, I do not need your help to maintain order in my classroom. Take your seat.”

Beth looking ashamed to have gotten in trouble (goody two shoes) hurried back to her seat. Josh turned back to see Chris had dropped down into his seat looking equally as embarrassed. Josh did not follow. Their teacher turned her attention back to them.

“If you are going to act like children that’s how you will be treated.” She looked at Chris sitting and even though it was not necessary she said, “Mr. Hartley, you stay right here.” Then she turned to him and pointed to an empty seat on the opposite side of the room. “Mr. Washington, take your things and move to that seat. Now!”

Josh gathered his stuff avoiding Chris’ gaze as she continued, “Not another sound from either of you and be happy I didn’t send you to the vice principal’s office.”

Josh practically stomped to his new seating assignment. He saw Chris was back to staring at the desk. He looked upset. Strangely Josh felt his heart weigh down with guilt. Josh had humiliated him, knowing how sensitive he was. This kind of thing was bound to ruin Chris’ whole day. He almost felt like he should apologize.

However once Josh was sitting he caught sight of Beth glaring at him as if it was his fault she had gotten herself in trouble by butting into his business. Her shrap eyes reminded him of why he was angry. Hannah. Chris was using Hannah and that wasn’t okay. Beth mouthed, ‘stop’ to him and he knew she wasn’t going to let him anywhere near Chris in addition to Hannah. She glanced over at Chris and out of instinct he did too. He had his face in his hands, his glasses on the desk. Josh knew him well enough to know he was trying to stop himself from crying.

Josh turned away trying to make himself believe that he wanted Chris to feel bad.

* * *

Sam and Beth caught each other as Sam was going in the Washington’s mansion and Beth was going out. They almost ran right into one another in fact. Sam still had her hand up ready to ring the bell when Beth opened the door. They jumped back a second and then relaxed. Sam opened her arms right away to bring Beth in for a hug and kiss ‘hello.’ They rubbed their noses together before pulling away.

“Hey, baby,” Sam cooed.

“Hey.” Beth didn’t really do pet names. She blushed at Sam’s though.

Sam stepped inside and looked over her girlfriend. She was dressed to go out for the night and Sam raised her eyebrow, “You look hot. Where are you going?”

Beth smiled and turned even darker from the compliment, “Jess is picking me up. I’m gonna help her get ready for the real party after the dance tonight.”

“Jess isn’t going to the dance?” Sam was shocked. How did Jess not have a date?

“No. She didn’t take the test. She said the last thing she wanted was a bunch of guys trying to get her in bed by insisting that they’re soulmates or something.” Beth shrugged after, “I can’t blame her. She could already have basically anyone at school she wanted.”

“Anyone?” Sam teased, “Should I be worried?”

“About me? No,” Beth said glancing at the stairs, “In general…”

She followed her gaze, “It’ll be fine. It’s just one night, I’m sure we can handle it. Your siblings included.”

“You have way too much faith in people.” Beth came forward to kiss her again, “Have fun and if you fall in love Matt tonight just know that I’ll kill him.”

“Aww for me?” Sam cooed again as she accepted the kiss then smiled up at Beth, “See you later.”

“Later.” With that Beth was back on her way out the door. Sam stayed where she was a moment after she was gone. She looked at the stairs up to Hannah’s room. She didn’t want to admit to Beth how worried she actually was about how exactly the night would go. She wasn’t sure who she was most worried about tonight, Josh or Hannah or Matt or even Ashley. She had been so upset when she found out about Chris and Hannah. Sam wanted to talk to her but Ashley avoided her when she tried. It was clear where she thought Sam’s loyalty was. In truth Sam felt torn. She wanted Hannah to be happy but not at Ashley’s expense. Why was this all so complicated?

She took a deep breath. No it wasn’t a big deal. This was one night out with her close friends. That’s all it was. She head upstairs so she and Hannah could start getting ready hoping she had succeeded in making herself believe that. As Sam walked through the hall she kept her eyes out for Josh. He lived in the basement so it was unlikely he was up there. He might be trying to stealth ruin the night for Hannah though. Sam would not allow that.

“Sammy!” Hannah called as she made it to her bedroom door. She was coming out of the bathroom in her robe. Sam laughed. Of course Hannah was just getting out of the shower. She was never ready on time anywhere for anything. It should not be cute but Hannah made it cute. He was smiling from ear to ear. Sam was reminded that Hannah was excited about tonight. It didn’t matter who she was going with, she was going out for Valentine’s day and that made her happy which made Sam happy.

“Sorry you had to wait, but you know how my hair is.” Hannah followed Sam into the bedroom. Sam left her dress and all the makeup they’d bought there so they could get ready together.

“It’s fine sweetie, I just got here.” Hannah pulled out her scrunchie and she had such nice curls after a shower it was silly she and Beth straightened their hair when it was so pretty. At least Josh remained dedicated to his natural dark curls.

Thinking of Josh Sam locked Hannah’s door. Just in case.

“You wanna do makeup first or hair?”Hannah asked sitting at her vanity station.

“Hair,” Sam said as she joined her friend. At the very least Sam knew she’d enjoy this part of the night. She loved dolling herself up. Hopefully the dance didn’t take too much of a toll on her and she still looked good for when she saw Beth later on in the night. As nice as she wanted to look she certainly wasn’t fixing herself up for Matt.

Matt. He’d very clearly wanted to go with Hannah. Definitely more than Chris did. Going with Sam and her together was the closest he was going to get. Although it shouldn’t hurt her feelings, it did. She wanted Matt to want to hang out with her. It wouldn’t be the first time Sam had entertained the idea that maybe Matt simply didn’t like her.

Oh, well at least Hannah was going to have fun. Sam would make sure of that.

* * *

He had been sitting in his truck in the Washingtons’ driveway for twenty minutes, hitting his head against the steering wheel every five or so minutes that passed. He was late picking up Hannah. He got there a couple minutes early though so he wasn’t that late but still late. Matt’s car was there when he showed up so they were literally all waiting on him. There had been a big thing about taking his car or Chris’ truck. Matt wasn’t happy when it was decided since they were going to a party later at his (and Jess’) place that Chris should drive them. Meaning he was probably in a bad mood.

As if he needed another reason to feel like human garbage. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Ashley’s dejected face. She’d misinterpreted him not wanting to go with his date in a romantic way as him not wanting to go in a romantic way with anybody. Although he couldn’t blame her for thinking it. It’d taken him over a year to show any interest in her and he’d never had eyes for anyone else as far as she knew. He didn’t think there was any other way to clear things up except by just telling her how he felt about her. Why was saying, “I like you” so damn hard?

On top of that there was Hannah. He didn’t want to go out with Hannah in any sense of the phrase. Honestly the idea of him and her made his stomach cringe, more than it normally would when it came to romance. The Washington siblings were like his second family and even if he wasn’t almost totally uninterested in dating and sex he could not see himself with any of them. Least of all Hannah.

However the Washington siblings were like his second family. Including Hannah and for whatever reason she wanted to go with him. How could he realistically deny her something so simple when she and Beth were the closest thing Chris had to little sisters? (Jess didn’t count!) It wasn’t a big deal. She would probably spend the whole night talking to Matt and Sam anyway. He just had to bear with it for a few hours. Hopefully Hannah wasn’t expecting him to spend too much time with her at the actual party too.

He flipped down his visor. Clicking the light on he checked his face in the mirror. He rubbed his head hoping to rid himself of the mark knocking his head on the steering wheel had given him. He made it look even bigger. It matched his shirt. He’d worn a dark red button down because Hannah told him to wear red. She’d been particular about it. He suddenly wondered if she would be mad at him for wearing black jeans instead of slacks and that didn’t have a jacket or a tie.

Oh well, he didn’t look as miserable as he felt so that was a plus. Chris got out of his truck and headed up to the front door.

As he made his way up the steps he noticed the Jeep the three of them shared was parked by their garage. That meant they were all home, that Josh was home. He let out a rough sigh. He didn’t have the brain power to think about all that. They hadn’t fought this badly in years. Chris and Josh fought a lot. It was never serious though. They usually made up less than an hour later or at the most by the end of the day. Two days of yelling then two days of the silent treatment felt like torture to him. It had been almost no time but truthfully Chris missed Josh.

He missed Ashley too. He had been avoiding her since Wednesday. He barely said ‘hi’ before classes they had together started and he ran out the door with an even shorter ‘bye.’ He canceled their second study session for the week and he spent lunch in the library. He didn’t know what to say about their last conversation and he didn’t want to risk screwing things up further. He was lonely but he was afraid to see Ashley and he didn’t want to see Josh, who also didn’t want to see him.

Which sucked for them both because Josh was the one that opened the door after Chris rang the doorbell. He was a lot better dressed than Chris was. His grey shirt was nicer than Chris’ and had probably been ironed, same with his slacks. He had a jacket and a slim tie. What a surprise, the pompous rich boy owed nice clothes and could expertly tie a tie.

The second they met eyes Chris felt both their bodies tense. It seemed like every time they saw each other these days they were prepared for a fist fight neither was ballsy enough to initiate. Josh didn’t say ‘hi” to him. Instead he opted to just close the door in his face.

Chris sighed and let himself in. He’d done it tons of times so it wasn’t a big deal. He was more upset at how childish Josh was being. Josh knew about- Chris had told Josh and no one else about his sexuality so he had no clue how Josh could think Chris was even thinking of sleeping with Hannah let alone would make any kind of attempt at it. If anything he was looking forward to when this was all over and he was back at home no even remotely sober.

Chris wandered behind Josh (unintentionally) into the living room where Matt and Ashley were sitting and talking on one of the couches. If he looked underdressed compared to Josh, he looked like he was in rags compared to Matt. He had worn a stylish black turtleneck along with what must’ve been a designer navy blue blazer. Unlike both him and Josh he’d wore actual dress pants too. While they all had on nice shoes, his were the fanciest. Who was he trying to impress? Not Sam, right?

Chris looked over the three people in the room. Josh and Ashley weren’t riding to the dance with them too, were they? The four of them would only barely be able to fit in his backseat so one of them would have to sit up front and Ashley was the smallest and most logical choice. He couldn’t take that level of awkwardness. He’d rather shoot himself in the gut and spend the night in the ER.

Ashley gave Chris a smile and a wave as she stood and thankfully confirmed that she and Josh were taking his Jeep by asking, “Are you ready to go now?”

In a dark tone with his eyes still on Chris, Josh answered, “Not quite yet, no.”

Ashley sighed as if she and he had had this back and forth a couple times already. Josh wasn’t leaving until Hannah came downstairs and left with Sam, Matt and most importantly him. He was a cliché stereotype of a brother. Chris understood why he was like that (it had been literal months since anyone in their friend group had seen Bob and/or Melinda Washington) but that didn’t make his behavior any less ridiculous. Forget director, Josh should be an actor. He was dramatic enough.

“Where are Hannah and Sam?” Chris asked Matt as he was the safest person in the room for him to talk to. Even if Ashley was being friendly, he felt like that was a switch that could flip any second if he said the wrong thing. Chris was bound to say the wrong thing too.

“Getting ready still,” he answered also getting up to stand with their group before he laughed, “It looks like you remembered that when a girl says be here at seven what she actually means is seven thirty, unlike me.”

“Hey!” Ashley whined as she was the one stuck waiting on Josh who was leaning on the couch. Chris laughed. She was the cutest thing when she got all huffing and indignant. She turned to look at him instead of Matt and continued to defend, “What? I’m ready and I’m a girl.”

“Heh, look at that, you are,” he responded in faux shock then with a smile added, “You look good too.”

“Yeah?”

“Girl, if you were a fruit you’d be a fine-apple.” He kicked himself after he said it. It was force of habit.

She did look good though. In typical Ashley fashion she couldn’t just wear a nice formal dress. She had to be unique about it. She had dressed in a dark red dress that’s bottom looked closer to tutu than a skirt down to right above her knees. The top of it was similar to a button down shirt but with no sleeves. She had a small, greyish white bowtie under the collar. She wore her black tights as well. She had on too much eyeshadow and not enough of any other kind of makeup which she always did. Despite being at the most a half inch above five feet tall she had worn short boots with almost no heel.

She was adorable.

Her face turned a soft pink and she smiled when he complimented her, only for her to squash it down. Her face went even darker in what was clearly a different type of embarrassment. She was upset with herself for taking what he had said the way she had. Even though that had been exactly how he meant it. Which he should say. He should say that. ' _No, no I meant that as in you’re attractive. I think you’re very attractive!'_

However no matter how hard he pushed the words didn’t come out. It felt as if there was far too much pressure. Especially with Josh burning a pair of holes into the side of his head with his glare. It was like he didn’t see Chris struggling over what to say to the girl he actually liked. It was as if he didn’t see the way Chris knew he was looking at Ashley because it was how he always looked at Ashley. Josh seemed to be so singularly focused on Hannah he didn’t remember where Chris’ heart truly was even with the evidence right in front of his face.

“Oh Hannah, Sam, hey,” Ashley called suddenly, looking at them passed him. He also turned to turned that way along with Matt as Josh stood up to join them on the other side of the living room. Sam and Hannah called a “hey” back as they made their way over to the group.

Three things happened at once. Or rather one thing happened to three people for three different reasons. That thing was the obvious heart attack each guy had. The first reason was rage, the second was desire with the final one being horror all summed up in a collective, “Holy shit!”

Both girls looked very nice. Sam’s dress was best described as being hippie style which shocked no one. It was sky blue and gradually faded to white. It had little shape to it, simply flowing along her body, hugging her around her mid-torso but nowhere else. The top was similar to a peasant blouse, hanging off her shoulders. The sleeves were loose, almost baggy. The hem stopped just passed her knees. The skirt part sort of rippled. Her hair was mostly left down with two tiny braids wrapping around her head at the top. Her makeup was expertly applied compared to Ashley’s makeup. Sam wore short heeled boots like Ashley. She looked lovely.

It wasn’t Sam that had called their attention though. No, it was Hannah. It wasn’t that she didn’t look good. (In fact she must have looked amazing judging by how close Matt was to drooling on himself.) It was that she looked… It was just a lot. Well, technically, it was too little. Especially if Josh’s face was anything to go by. He was so red Chris wondered if he should be afraid Josh might actually explode.

The first word that came to his mind looking at Hannah in her dress with tight. She was fit with obvious curves. All of which were highlighted by how snug her dress was. It ended at about her mid-thigh showing off her long legs (which as far as Chris understood it, was sexy). She had tall heels. They were open and showed off her feet. Her toes were painted the same color of her dress which Chris could only think to describe as Valentine’s day red. Her sleeves were long and mostly lace, frilled down by her wrists. The part that was probably driving Josh off the deep end though were the holes.

Hannah’s dress had cutouts leaving her skin exposed in place. Most of them were about an inch thick. There was one on each side above her hips, then two above that right below her… chest area. There was also what he’d often heard called a “boob window.” It was on the smaller side but not to the point where you couldn’t see anything.

The back was partially exposed from shoulders to tailbone. There was another thin piece of fabric along the middle of her back with strings connecting the front to it holding it together. Honestly though it looked as if one strong tug could tear it open and consequently the dress off.

Hannah was his date which she knew when she bought this and put it on and came down wearing it. But that didn’t necessarily mean she- Oh, this was bad. Apparently Ashley hadn’t been the only person he’d given the wrong impression. To be fair he wouldn’t have ever imagined Hannah was even capable of thinking about him like that. Chris didn’t need to be well versed in the language of sex and relationships to understand there was nothing platonic about going out with someone dressed like that.

Josh was going to strangle him in his sleep. Or at the very least beat him into a bloody pulp. Although this wasn’t his fault. Hannah hadn’t liked Chris in that way since they were nine and ten respectively. Even then the only reason she had liked him was because he was the only boy she knew who wasn’t her brother. Where had this sudden resurgence of her crush come from? Her feelings for him hadn’t been real in the first place!

“Guys,” Josh said out of nowhere, “If either of you have your eyes anywhere but on my sister’s face when I turn around I’m going to rip them out of your head.”

Chris’ eyes dropped to the floor and in his peripheral vision he saw Matt’s jump to the ceiling. Neither of them looked straight ahead again until they were sure Josh had walked away. He’d gone directly up to Hannah and crossed his arms. His eyes locked in contact with hers but she met his gaze back. She looked a little more intimidating with her glasses off.

“What are doing, Hannah?” Josh asked quietly a lot calmer than Chris thought any of them expected.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she answered, her hands on her hips. Josh sighed.

“Don’t try bullshitting a bullshitter,” he said, “I know exactly what you’re doing and I know why.”

“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.” Hannah said as she shrugged.

“Yes, you do.” He stuck out his finger to wave it along the length of her body. “And this is not gonna work.”

“Do you not like my dress, Josh?” she asked as she opened her arms to show herself off to the room.

“Seriously?!” he snapped his voice louder, “Stop it and go change.”

She looked around Josh and directly at him, “You like my dress, right, Chris?”

 _Not even a little._ It wasn’t like she looked bad, it was just so obviously meant to be sexy. Chris didn’t like sexual things. He preferred how both Sam and Ashley had dressed on an aesthetic level. He couldn’t say that though. He couldn’t say ‘No you’re actually making me very uncomfortable right now.’ She was sensitive and for some reason still unknown to him she had randomly become invested in his opinion of her.

“It’s uh,” What was it? “Something. You look unbelievable.” It wasn’t a lie because he genuinely couldn’t believe she was wearing it. To go out with him.

“Yeah, Han,” Matt piped up, “You look absolutely incredible!”

“Aww thanks, guys!” Hannah’s face lit up and a smile stretched across her face, “See? Everyone else likes my dress.”

Josh looked even more frustrated. He looked like he was struggling for something to say. He knew couldn’t actually make Hannah change and he knew he couldn’t force her to stay there. He didn’t have any options and given the way Sam stood by Hannah’s side, Josh knew he was outnumbered. Sam was a fierce mama bear and there was no way she was letting Josh ruin this for one of her cubs.

Josh made a weird sort of strangled, sort of groaning noise out of annoyance then he turned to Ashley and said, “Okay, I’m ready now.”

Josh stormed off towards the door without really waiting for her. Chris presumed she hurried after him as she called, “Wait up, stupid. Bye guys! See you there!”

He only assumed she followed Josh because he had not looked at Ashley from the second Hannah entered the room. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was thrown off by her appearance or because he was afraid how Ashley may have reacted to his reaction. The why of it didn’t really matter as he focused on Hannah and Sam, listening to Ashley head out the door with Josh.

“Well that was silly, huh?” Sam asked to break the tension then with a tight smile said to Matt, “Hey, Matt. How are you doing?”

Matt returned the same kind of polite smile as he answered, “I’m good, I’m good. You look very pretty.”

Sam nodded a few times, “Thank you, you look handsome, yourself.”

“Thanks.” The two of them fell into silence, smiling and nodding to each other.

“Well,” Chris finally said, “I guess we should go too, right? Get this night started?” _And over with._

“Definitely,” Hannah said in a cheery voice as both Matt and Sam responded with a “yeah” each as well. Hannah grabbed his hand which he wasn’t really okay with, bringing him to the door. He almost pulled it away. However then Hannah smiled at him in that dreamy, endearing way that made her hard to say no to. Chris felt his soul crack.

What was he supposed to do? He hadn’t known Hannah thought this was going to be a real date. He had assumed she was so happy because someone was taking her to the dance. No one wanted to be alone on Valentine’s day after all. Like he had said to Josh, he couldn’t cancel on her when she was so damn happy. He just had to make it clear that’s not what this was. She grabbed his hand with both of her hands when they got to the front door, practically vibrating with excitement.

Not yet though.


	6. Warmth from the Flames

“Did you really have to get like that?” Ashley asked not long after they’d pulled out of his driveway on their way to their oh so romantic Valentine's day evening, “I mean it’s Chris, Josh.”

Josh looked her way for a second then back at the road, choosing to ignore the way she said it. She didn’t get it. None of them did. They were all so focused on the dating and sex aspects of it (and he was much more afraid of the eyes Matt was giving her than the clearly uncomfortable look Chris gave her in that regard). They assumed it was the only thing he thought mattered. Josh wasn’t afraid of Hannah having sex though. He certainly didn’t want her to be out having sex but he wasn’t afraid of it.

He was afraid of someone, anyone, using Hannah. She was a sweet girl. She was simple and pure, not a complicated, ugly mess like he was. She didn’t know that people were bad, not in the way they were in real life. Only the way they were in the movies. She only saw bad people who were obviously bad and good people who were obviously good. Hannah’s world was painted like the classic Hollywood movies they both loved so much, black and white. She didn’t see any of the gray. She didn’t know that bad didn’t always look dark. Sometimes it was shiny and bright like a brand new car.

Chris wasn’t- Of course he didn’t think his best friend was a bad person. He didn’t even think the guy was going to want to look at Hannah showing so much skin let alone would try getting into her pants. There was literally only one person Chris wanted in his bed and she was sitting next to Josh plugging his phone into the radio to play some music. Even then he only mildly wanted Ashley in an explicitly sexual way. Although that didn't mean he wasn’t using Hannah because he was. Using her to get to him.

Josh had told himself when they were little he would always try to stop Hannah (and Beth) from getting hurt. If he could protect her then he would and in this case he could. He could protect her so he should and he would. Things were just that simple. It was his job especially as their parents seemed to think parenting ended at fourteen. That was about when the house was no longer home to five and instead only housed three most of the time.

“Your music playlists stick,” Ashley said, calling his attention to her.

“Only cause you don’t like Jazz,” Josh answered taking the phone from her and turning on his music anyway.

“Watch the road, you dipshit,” she snapped, “I’d rather at least get to the dance before I end up bloody and bruised.”

She had been trying to joke but her underlying feelings came out. She was not looking forward to this. Truthfully neither was he. They’d never gone to a dance without Chris. His absence hung in the air and only served to remind them why he wasn’t with them. Josh was honestly surprised by how much it bothered her that Chris was on a date with someone. As into the guy as she was he had never thought she was that kind of girl. It seemed as if she was far more of a romantic than he would have guessed.

He knew why he was going. Chris and Hannah were going together and if they were each going to try rubbing that in his face then Josh was not backing down. He would show them he could take it. That didn’t mean he was excited or even interested in this dance. He had no idea why Ashley was still going. Josh felt as if they both wanted an excuse to cancel on this but didn’t have a good enough one. So here they were, stuck together and miserable.

“I can’t believe you wore a bowtie,” he said with a soft snort, focusing on her and not his anger, “You should have just worn spenders too and gone full Urkle.”

“Hey,” she whined but sounded happier, “My tie is cute!”

“Is it even real?” he asked reaching for her as if to yank it off. She jumped back from him as much as the car allowed as he continued to grab at her. She pushed his hands off her collar with harmless little slaps, twisting away from him.

“Josh, the road!” she scolded, trying not to laugh and finally shoving him back into his seat, “And of course it’s real.”

He fell into his seat and felt a smile take over his face. She looked embarrassed so he knew she was lying about her clip on tie. She giggled under her breath as she fixed her bowtie and he had to admit she did look cute once she was smiling. Her fashion sense was still awful but he couldn’t deny how much he respected Ashley for being so unafraid of remaining true to herself. Chris often said it was maybe his favorite thing about her.

Josh sighed. She looked somewhat better but she was still hurt and disappointed. Chris had done her dirty and not in the way she fantasized about.

Screw it! He could multitask. Two of his favorite girls needed him tonight over the same asshole guy and he could be there for both. He could only really watch out for Hannah from the other side of the room. Ashley though, she would be right by his side all night. Josh was determined she at least have some fun!

* * *

Sam had expected things to be awkward but she didn’t think things would be as awkward as they ended up being. After about fifteen minutes of silence, Chris had turned on music to hopefully break tension. Sam didn’t recognize a single song that played or the bands when Hannah asked him for their names. From the look on her face Hannah didn’t just not know any of the songs but didn’t like them. The two of them had always been more top forty girls while Chris seemed to like obscure indie bands.

Sam looked over at Matt and wondered what kind of music he liked. He looked like he was content with Chris’ choice so she wasn’t too sure. He didn’t seem to like it but he also didn’t seem as if he disliked it. Sam, much like her best friend, didn’t like it. She wasn’t about to tell him to switch phones with one of them so they could play something else. This was his truck.

Hannah did not have her same reservations.

“Hey, can I change the music?” she asked after about the fifth song. Chris looked her way as if he wanted to say ‘no.’ That or he wanted to launch into a rant about how his taste was better than theirs.

Instead though he gave a smile that looked somewhat genuine as he answered, “Yeah, sure.”

He cringed seconds after Hannah plugged her own phone in and Beyoncé’s voice filled the space. Who didn’t like queen B? Chris apparently. Matt’s head started to bob along to it though. Sam’s elation could barely be contained. Matt liked R&B! Sam liked R&B! She nearly pounced towards his side of the seat.

“You like Beyoné?” she asked far too loudly and far too quickly. She could help it. She had found common ground with Matt.

“Uh, yeah,” he answered slowly, “I like most R&B artists. She’s talented. I even listen to some Destiny’s Child stuff.”

“Me too!” A wide smile stretched across her face. “I like a bunch of older songs. You know the good stuff: No Scrubs,Waterfall, Survivor…”

“Survivor is great!” he agreed with equal enthusiasm.

Hannah piped up suddenly, “You want me to put it on?”

“Hell yeah!” They said almost at the same time. Hannah grabbed her phone to find it. Sam knew Hannah liked R&B too. That meant they liked the same music as well. Chris, however, rolled his eyes. How had he and her been matched up? He looked like they were forcing him to lay on a bed made of legos as Matt and Hannah sang along and rocked out.

His face didn’t lose his grimace until they parked in the parking lot at the venue the school had rented out for this. He had grit his teeth through every song and sighed in relief when he turned his engine off and the music died.

“You could have let the song finish,” Sam complained as Chris opened his door and stepped out of the truck. Hannah bit her lip as if she didn’t want to disagree with Chris. Sam and Hannah never shut the car off before the song they were listening to finished. Considering the first song Chris played had started in the middle of the chorus he didn’t feel the same way.

Hannah was looking at her undoing her seatbelt when her door suddenly opened. She jumped and turned to see Chris had opened it for her. He stood with his hand out toward her. That shy look came over her face again as she took it, letting him help get out. Sam felt herself sigh externally. Internally she wanted to puke but held back. Did Hannah actually think she still liked Chris when they had spent the whole trip there either not really talking or not agreeing?

“Coming, Sam?” she heard to her left. She turned to see Matt holding his door open for her to follow him. She blushed a little. Not in a romantic way. She was just flattered he was treating her so well considering this was a completely platonic thing between them. She slid along the seat and took his hand to let him help her out of Chris’ truck. However while she released it almost immediately, Hannah held tight to Chris’ hand and she even pushed to interlock their fingers as they walked toward the entrance. Chris finally gave in after her eyes fell to stare at the ground in disappointment. The desire to throw up pulsed almost painfully in Sam’s stomach again. She swallowed and that helped.

“Where are we sitting?” Hannah asked as soon as they were through the door to the events room. It was dark with deep red walls. The lights strung along them were white and pink making the place look a little brighter but it still had a more romantic feel to it. Josh may have right about the planning committee just selling this as a friendship thing so they could host a something almost inappropriate for a Valentine’s day dance organized with school money.

Everything was same shade of red or white and far too sensual to be there with just a friend. It made Sam uncomfortable to be there with Matt. The same could be said for him if his face was anything to go by. In only one moment they were right back where they had started. He took a long step away from her, trying to be subtle. She did the same with a smaller step.

“Guys,” Hannah called again, “Where are we gonna sit?”

“Oh,” Matt answered, “Some of my teammates saved us a spot over by the DJ.”

Chris groaned as softly as he could. Hannah was too busy still looking around to notice it. Sam was happy for that. She wasn’t sure what to make of this. Half of the time it seemed like Chris was trying to have fun and half of the time it was as if he wanted to chew his arm off and run away. She guessed Josh might be right and he hadn’t asked Hannah because he liked her. Yet he did everything Hannah wanted to do. Maybe he was just being weird and shy because he liked her.

“That’s nice,” Chris said obviously forcing an upbeat tone. She couldn’t blame him for not wanting to sit over by Matt’s friends. Chris wasn’t all that well-liked by the kinds of guys Matt sometimes hung out with. On the flip side of that, Sam didn’t really like the guys Matt sometimes hung out with. Hannah did though which just showed Sam once again which boy she should be there with.

“Yeah,” Hannah agreed grabbing Chris’ sleeve with her hand not holding his before she pulled him to follow Matt who was walking over already, “Come on.”

Obediently Chris let himself be led toward the table with Sam taking up the rear. She was not sure if she preferred walking next to Matt or not. She didn’t want to stand too close to him in this environment but she also didn’t want to look as if she had shown up alone. She glanced quickly around the room to see if she could find any of her other friends.

She found Mike and Emily together at one table and Josh and Ashley sitting at another on the other side of the room. The dance floor was between them and Sam’s own group. Emily and Mike looked like they were arguing about something. Josh and Ashley were also just sitting down. They must have gotten there not very long ago.

Sam hadn’t even noticed their group reached the table. She felt grateful they got a corner one and it wasn’t a complete circle. Too bad Chris still took the furthest chair from Matt’s friends. Hannah’s face fell when she sat next to him looking over at Matt greeting his teammates. She was more social than he apparently wanted to be. Chris did pull her chair out for her and Matt paused in his conversation to do the same for Sam. She took the seat next to Hannah as Matt sat in the seat by his other friends. At least they came to this thing with gentlemen.

“Hey, guys,” Hannah called to Matt’s friends which caused the closest one to look at her. He gave a smile and a wave back.

“Hey, Han,” he greeted, Sam thought his name was Anthony, “Why are you sitting on the other side of the world?”

Hannah pointed at Chris who was looking around the room, “To stay by my date. Do you know Chris? Chris, that’s Tony?”

She had turned to face him and her body sagged. He didn’t look her way when she’d introduced them. She elbowed him gently and he looked down at them. Looking around Hannah, he saw the guy she meant and he nodded once before he said, “Hey, sup?”

“Nothing,” he answered awkwardly, “Nice to meet you, I guess.”

“Oh yeah,” Chris said back to looking around the room, “Same.”

Music played over the speakers but it was ignored by most of their group as none of them had much to say. Matt talked with his friends and occasionally turned to talk with them (that was to say Hannah but she was too absorbed in trying to get Chris’ attention). Hannah asked him everything from, “Isn’t it really pretty here?” to “You think there is a lounge area that’s better for talking?” to “What are you thinking about right?” All of which Chris gave monotone one word answers like, “Sure.” and “Probably.” and “Nothing.” Sam even saw him take out his phone only to quickly shove it back into his pocket.

Matt quickly gave up on them when they barely answered him, going back to talk to his teammates. Sam saw Chris’ face fall. She followed his gaze to see he had found Josh and Ashley.

“You want me to grab some food?” Matt finally asked, “You look hungry, Han.”

“That sounds awesome, Matt,” Sam piped up when Hannah didn’t answer him, Sam elbowed her, “Doesn’t it?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” she said looking like she had no idea what she was agreeing to repeating Sam’s own “Sounds awesome.”

“Alright then. Be right back.” He didn’t ask Chris if he wanted anything so maybe he was only getting food for the three of them. Sam because she was his date and Hannah to impress her. Too bad the second he had stood and walked away her eyes went back to her date.

She looked from him to the dance floor a few times. There weren’t many people out there but there was enough. Sam saw that Emily and Mike were dancing but not anyone else she knew. Hannah played with her fingers as her eyes bounced from the dance floor to Chris. She rocked in her seat. She leaned in his direction when he didn’t respond to her in any way. Finally he noticed her and looked over. She was red giving him a shy smile.

“Dancing looks fun.” was all she said, glancing to the people on the floor before bringing her eyes back to him once more. He looked out onto the floor as well. Sam saw him fight not to roll his eyes. He slouched down in his chair as if he was nervous about saying anything.

“I don’t dance,” he said, barely looking at her, “Sorry.”

“Oh,” Hannah sighed gently, “No, no, that’s okay.”

“You sure?” he asked concern in his voice.

She nodded, “Oh totally. I don’t mind.”

Sam’s brain brightened as a spark of an idea shot through it. She was on her feet just as fast. Grabbing the back of Hannah’s chair to get her attention, she said, “Wait right here, okay?”

“Uh okay,” she answered and that was all Sam needed to dash off best she could in her nice shoes. She head straight for the food table to see Matt had four plates on the surface in front of him (so he did get something for Chris). He looked like he was trying to figure out how he could carry them all. Sam came to stand right by him and grabbed his arm. He turned to her after he almost jumped.

He laughed nervously, “Hey, what’s up?”

Sam didn’t have time to waste so she asked quickly, “You feel like dancing?”

“Definitely,” he said looking like he meant it.

“Great!” She grabbed two of the plates and let him get the others, “Come on.”

Sam walked as fast as she could holding the warmed plates. She had to bend and twist in weird ways to avoid people. She made it though. She almost dropped the plates down. She looked over with a triumphant look. However the air was sucked right out of her after she did.

Hannah and Chris were gone. Her mind went to a million different places though she was happy his behavior all night helped her cancel out all the makeout scenarios right away. Where else they could be was beyond her. She’d searched for them right up until Matt joined her. She watched him put the other two plates on the table. He looked her up and down with a smile on his face and his hands resting on his hips.

“I forgot how much you like to dance,” he said sounding surprised.

“I love to dance,” she replied barely listening, “Haven’t you ever seen me?”

“A few times. But you’re usually pretty drunk,” he answered with a smirk. It was the most open and honest that he’d ever looked to Sam. She was caught a little of guard. He legitimately wanted to dance with her. That was actually really nice. She had been trying to get him to dance with Hannah but he hadn’t picked up on that fact. He genuinely looked excited to dance with her. Sam almost forgot about Hannah and Chris and all that drama. How had she never realized that they were both such enthusiastic dancers?

He laughed as well then held out his hand, “So are you ready to show me what moves sober Sam has?”

“Pssh, I hope you can keep up.” She almost slapped her hand into his and let him pull her after him out onto the floor. She was actually looking forward to sharing a dance with Matt.

* * *

Hannah looked absolutely crushed while she waited for Sam to come back with whatever she wanted to show her. She picked up her napkin and began to fold and unfold it into different shapes. Then she pulled it through her open fist with her eyes on Mike and Emily out on the floor. Sadness clung to her eyes making her look like a kid who had been denied a trip to Disney. She didn’t look like she was having fun.

It dawned on him that he wasn’t being a good date. He had barely paid her any attention and it showed. He watched Emily and Mike with her a bit. They’d been playing slow, romantic music for most of the night. All she wanted was to dance.

He put a smile on his face and stood. He should be trying harder and so he held his hand out to her as he said, “Okay, fine but just a warning I really suck at this.”

She jumped to her feet and lunged at him. She grabbed his hand but she didn’t stop there. She attached herself to his side by hugging his arm with her head pressed to his shoulder. He didn’t know if it was his aversion to touching or if it was because this was Hannah. Either way he had to work hard at not yanking out of her grasp. She let him drag him to the dance floor instead. It was his job to make sure she had fun. He’d tell her later this wasn’t what she thought it was. For now she deserved a dance if nothing else.

She wrapped the arm she held around her waist. He shifted it much further up then where she had put it though there was nowhere to grab her without touching skin. He went to grab her hand but she beat him to it and place her hands on his shoulders. She stepped far too much into his space. God, what had he done? He stepped back putting more of a gap between them and pulled one of her hands off his shoulders to hold. If he was doing this it would be on his terms. He wasn’t letting her have that much fun.

He put the wrong foot forward immediately and stepped on her toes. He pulled back quickly with a loud, “Sorry.”

She winced but then smiled and said, “It’s okay. You warned me.”

He laughed a little, “Okay, let’s try that again.”

He stepped with the other foot but Hannah had been expecting the same one and he stepped on her toes again. He pulled back completely this time, letting her go. He felt himself burn red. He was really bad at dancing. He was just making things worse for her not better.

She smiled shyly and stepped back into his space to retake his hand and put her other hand on his shoulder. She bit down on her lip. She didn’t look too unhappy as she said, “I can dance. Here, I’ll show you.”

He placed his hand back on her side with his own shy smile. This time she moved her foot and he followed her. It was somewhat embarrassing for him, having a girl lead him around the floor. It wasn’t that unpleasant though. Hannah could dance. It was actually really nice. Chris never got to hang out with Hannah. He shared a laugh with Beth here and there but he never did anything with her. He liked this. More than he thought he would honestly.

He got the gist of things pretty quickly as he was always a fast learner. So about halfway through the song he stopped them to trade roles. He’d made it so he was the one leading her. She gasped a little in surprise and then smiled widely.

“Hey, I thought you couldn't dance.” She said it far too flirtatiously for his taste but she was smiling so he let it go.

“I can't,” he said as he almost tripped over her and laughed, “See?

She laughed and helped steady him. He dared to get a little fancy and let her go to twirl her before pulling her back to him. Her face was red which he hoped was from it being hot in there.

“What was all that about then, Mr. Can't-dance?” she teased and he shrugged.

“I'm good at copying people and you’re a great dancer.”

She flushed. Uh oh that was not good. He made sure there was a wide space between them so she didn't start getting… more of the idea she already had about them. He sighed as she simply moved closer to him in response. It would probably be for the best for him to tell her that they were not going to happen. He’d never rejected someone before though. He’d never had to. Beth had come out as a lesbian very soon after their only kiss. (“Chris, if I'm not attracted to you then I’ll never be attracted to any boy.”) He was relieved to hear that whatever had began between the two of them was effectively dead on arrival. Truthfully it was a compliment to be her “if I had to pick a guy.” There was no one he’d come closer to dating than that. Which meant he’d also never been rejected. He didn't know how that felt from either side.

It probably hurt pretty bad though if cheesy romantic comedies and his over dramatic classmates were any indication. He couldn't do that to her. She'd already been sulking. He didn't want to make this worse for her. The night wasn't over. He had time.

Hannah finally looked like she was having fun and that lifted his spirits. Even if it was clumsy, off balance and awkward Hannah was enjoying herself. That was all that mattered in the moment.


	7. The Smoke Clears

“I call foul,” Josh whined as a cube of cheese flew passed his head.

“This isn’t baseball,” Ashley said as she picked up another piece and took aim, “You totally could have caught that.”

“Yeah right, that wasn’t even over the mat,” he scoffed loudly, “Goose Gossage you are not.”

“Who?” she asked forgetting she was gearing up to throw more food at him.

“He played for the Rangers. And the Yankees. I think he was with the White Sox for awhile too,” he answered. She still looked confused, “He was a good pitcher.”

“Oh, okay,” she said as she was taking her aim once again, “Ready for it?”

Josh said nothing and just leaned far back with his mouth open. They had been getting weird looks all night. Not that Josh gave a fuck. He’d seen Hannah as soon as she came in with her group and saw Chris still looked less than okay with being her date. He felt a little bad for her but really it would be better that way. She didn't want him to bother her or he would have gone to keep her company.

The cheese Ashley threw flew his way just short of hitting his chin and dropped down into his shirt. They both looked at it as Josh said, “Cool, a snack for later.”

Ashley rolled her eyes as she leaned towards him to loosen his tie.

“Whoa, girl,” he said, holding his hands up as she unbuttoned his shirt, “Can’t this wait until the party later? I’m not drunk enough to do the deed in public yet.”

“Consider it a preview for what’s to come then,” she said as she pulled the cheese from his unfastened collar. “That’s to say me cleaning up after your drunk butt for the rest of the night, pig.”

She held it out like a disapproving mother. He grabbed it out of her hand and then popped it into his mouth.

“Josh!” she scolded with mirth in her voice.

“What? It wasn't like it went down your top. Though if you do manage to trap any food down there I have no issue getting it out. I hear I’m good with my mouth.”

“I’ve heard the same,” she said with her voice breathy in a soft but sensual tone. Her smile told him she was kidding though. Good. Even if he and Chris were currently fighting Josh hadn’t been lying when he said he would never go there. He was a loyal friend to his core. Their type of faux-flirting was meaningless and barely compared to how far she took it with Chris. For example she didn’t ever “play fight” with Josh until she was pinned under him, sweaty and out of breath.

Not to say play fighting (actual play fighting, not Chris and Ashley’s transparent excuse to put their hands all over each other) was an inherently flirtatious thing. He used to play fight with his sisters as a boy. Well more so Beth than Hannah. Even though they weren’t really hitting her she got upset and half-way through the game she got scared. She would tuck herself away somewhere until one of her siblings found her. Josh was clever and he always found her before Beth did.

_“I don’t like when you hit me.” She was actually crying real tears, laying in the fetal position on the floor of their tree house. She had pulled up the ladder but that hadn’t stopped Josh from getting up there. Not many things could stop the California wildfire that was Josh Washington._

_“You asked to play, stupid.” He sat in the window he had been forced to climb through still dirty with bark and sap._

_“Well, I don’t want to play anymore!” She’d basically screamed at him. He rolled his eyes and dropped down to sit by her. He went to touch her but she moved away from his hand with an ‘ew.’_

_“Fine!” he snapped, “I won’t ever touch you again, you big baby!”_

_“I’m n-not- I’m not a b-baby.” She was crying even harder. “I just don’t like it when you hurt me. You always hit so hard!”_

_He sighed but then laughed, “Not as hard as Beth though, right?”_

_She smiled and kind of laughed herself, “No one hits harder than Beth.”_

_“So wouldn’t you rather get hurt by me?” he asked, “She’s way scarier.”_

_Hannah looked sad again, “I don’t want to get hurt by anyone.”_

_In that moment something in Josh changed. For the first time he realized that other people could hurt Hannah, that other people would hurt Hannah. It was just for fun when he did it but it would be for real if they did it. It was different when he made her cry because she knew how much he loved her. As great as she was not everyone was going to love Hannah. Even then none of them with the amount of love he did._

_“Well then I’m never gonna hurt you again,” he swore to them both, “Nobody is.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Promise.”_

Josh grabbed a pretzel bite to get back to playing his and Ashley’s admittedly childish game as he said, “Square up. If you miss this one you lose.”

“Says who?” she challenged but she still leaned back.

“Says me,” he tossed it in the air then he caught it, “I made up the game so I get to make the rules.”

Ashley rolled her eyes, “Yeah Josh, because you're the first person to ever come up with the idea of catching food in your mouth.”

“Glad you recognize my genius. Now open wide for me, sexy.”

She already had her mouth open but his comment made her laugh hysterically so the pretzel snack smacked into her nose and fell to the ground. She looked high when she laughed which he knew cause he’d seen her actually get high. She was easy to make laugh and whenever she did it was with a continuous giggle that got progressively louder. No one he knew looked as ugly as Ashley when they laughed and he liked that. He loved how honest and real she was. She may not have been a classy lady but she was still a first-rate gal.

“You did that on purpose!” She accused once she was able to breathe again.

“What? Make you laugh? Yes I did. I like to make you laugh, jokester that I am.” Josh really did like to make his friends laugh. Obviously Ashley in particular.

“You suck,” she said with giddiness still lingering in her voice.

“I'm also quite fond of that, yes,” he answered wiggling his eyebrows at her then added an exaggerated wink.

“Josh!”

“What? A guy can’t like sucking on _hard_ candies or licking _big_ popsticks if he's in the mood for a treat. I got a big mouth. I can fit a lot inside it.”

“Josh,” Ashley laughed even louder, trying to hide it. “Stop!”

“Stop what? Sucking on things? That's not fair, I just told you how much I like to do it. You're being really inconsiderate tonight, Ash.”

She was bracing herself on his arm as she bent over in laughter. It was nice to see her happy. She deserved to smile. Far too many girls had a key to his heart. That might get him in serious trouble some day when one of them expected a ring to come with it. Lucky for him this one didn’t. However if she couldn't count on Chris, and apparently she couldn't, then Ashley could always count on him.

She forced her voice to quiet down into light chuckles, her face was ruby red as she said, “You are such a dick.”

“So? What's wrong with dicks? Don't most girls actually like them. In fact some guys do too. Me included.”

Ashley shook her head gently, “Really? No “you are what you eat” quip? You have got to be kidding me.”

“No way. That’s low hanging fruit. I have standards.”

“You do not, liar,” she teased.

Josh shrugged. “Eh, true is true.”

They leaned against the table to face the dance floor. Josh did consider asking Ashley to dance for a hot minute. He’d dismissed the idea immediately though. Ashley was the kind of girl who would only want to dance if it was with someone she really liked. Someone like Chris. Chris was not a dancer but he might have tried for her. Ashley would swoon over something like that. Josh was not that guy to her. It would be awkward to even ask, let alone actually go through with it.

“Hey,” he asked pointing to the dance floor and grabbing some ice from his cup, “What do you wanna bet I could take one of these couples out just by hitting them with an ice cube?”

She snatched the ice from his hand as she gave him a look of disapproval. “Josh! Can you behave?”

She laughed again under her breath as she wrapped it in a napkin. He looked around the floor. He tapped Ashley’s arm to get her attention, “God, Ash, look.”

She turned around quickly and he put his arm around her to direct her vision to the right place. Emily and Mike were in the middle of the dance floor together clearly fighting as they tried to remain dancing. When someone looked their way they put on big smiles as if they were having a great time.

Josh rolled his eyes and grabbed another pretzel. This time it was Ashley who hit his arm. He turned back as she gasped, “Oh my god, she just stepped on his foot on purpose.”

“She totally did! Dug her heel in and everything,” he laughed as Emily stormed away from Mike, “And there she goes.”

“I give them about a half an hour before their making out in his car,” Ashley said looking his way, “Wanna put money on it?”

“I don’t have the cash to spare, sugar baby,” Josh said, returning her impish grin, “I don’t know why those two idiots even came to this thing together. Who goes to a dance with their ex?”

“They’re not exes.”

“Yes, they are,” Josh said bringing his attention back to her. “Mike was telling me about some chick he banged last week like three days ago.”

“And you think that means he and Emily aren’t together?” Ashley asked as if that was ridiculous.

“I can’t argue that.”

Ashley breathed a laugh, “They got back together after they found out they were each other’s top match on the compatibility test. I think they’re both just trying to prove they’re the bigger person or more over the relationship. They’ll either be in bed together by the end of the night or racing to see which of them can break-up with the other first. My bet’s on the sex thing. People always have sex at parties.”

“People also break-up at parties,” Josh countered, “Enough alcohol will bring some shitty things out in people.”

Ashley shrugged with no answer then looked back out to the floor. Josh stayed watching her. He felt like he had stepped on a nerve. Maybe it was about the party later. He had just assumed they were going to go however it occurred to him looking at her that maybe the last place Ashley wanted to be was a party at Chris’ house.

“Wow, Matt and Sam look great,” she said. That caused him to look to the floor. Matt and Sam were, surprisingly dancing together. Not so surprisingly they were dancing well together. They both had moves and kept pace with each other better than anyone else on the floor. It was strange to see them together, having fun. Josh couldn’t remember a single time Sam and Matt had hung out, at least not without Hannah.

“Oh.” He heard from his side and knew why not a second later.

Who else would Hannah dance with except for her date. Chris certainly didn’t look a hundred percent comfortable but he did look as if he was having fun. He let go of her side but not her hand as he held it up to twirl her under his arm. Josh did stuff like that when they were little kids. It wasn’t an exclusively romantic thing.

From the look on her face Hannah would not have agreed with that. He didn’t like the way she’d been looking at Chris all night. If he didn’t know better- Okay, no, this wasn’t okay. This wasn’t happening. He was stopping it right then and there. He was done.

He had just stood when he heard Ashley as she too stood, “Hey Josh, I’m going to the bathroom, okay?”

He looked her and could see it in her face. She knew he didn't believe her at all. She didn’t care. She just wanted to leave.

“Come on, Ash,” he said before she could walk away, “You know Chris. You know he doesn’t like her.”

“Yeah, that’s- that’s the problem.” With that she was gone. She was pushing her way through the crowd, away from her heartache.

Josh looked at Hannah, clearly having fun. She was happy. If he went over there, it would just ruin her night. It would make things worse for her. She didn’t want him around. Ashley was upset already and like his sister, she was a sensitive soul. He couldn’t do anything for Hannah without hurting her.

In any other situation he would’ve picked Hannah in the time it took to breathe a single breath but this one time Josh found himself chasing after Ashley instead.

* * *

Matt took Sam’s hand in his own as they entered the dance floor. He held their hands up palm to palm and grabbed her waist right where a gentleman would. (As in a place Beth wouldn’t saw his hand off for touching.) She placed her hand on his shoulder in response. Matt took a breath, waited two beats and with one step they were off.

He was graceful on his feet and he led her around the floor easily. It was a new experience for her. People would probably be surprised to learn Sam led the few times she and Beth danced together. She was clumsier than she liked people to know she was so it was better if Sam kept her up. It was sloppy but endearing.

Matt only ever stumbled if other students got in their way even then though he recovered fast. He was just the perfect height taller than her that she kept up with him and didn’t have to strain herself. It wasn’t long before they relaxed into a more casual state as they danced.

“Wow, Sam,” he said with a smile, “You are a good dancer.”

“How are you surprised?” she laughed, “We literally just talked about dancing five seconds ago.”

“Oh right, yeah,” he answered blushing a little, “I meant I knew you could dance but you dance way better than I thought you would.”

“Um thanks,” she said as she tensed again. He realized his mistake the very next moment and also went tense. He looked away from her and cleared his throat.

“I meant that in a good way,” he clarified, “Lots of girls like to dance but not all of them are good at it. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just kinda nice to dance with someone who knows what they’re doing too.”

“Oh,” she breathed relaxing again but their conversation died again. Why were things always so hard with Matt? What was wrong with her?

“I’m sorry,” he said suddenly stopping and pulling away from her, “I didn’t mean to insult you or anything.”

“You didn’t,” she lied as they stood there on the floor. They didn’t danced for a long time. He looked around and Sam was reminded he didn’t come here with her so much as he wanted to hang out with Hannah through her which Sam had been fine with. However Hannah wasn’t anywhere in sight so what did that mean for Matt and Sam?

“I’m sorry,” she said out of nowhere, “I don’t know where Hannah took off to.”

“It’s fine,” he said, “You’re my date not Hannah. We’ll catch up later.”

Sam sighed out in frustration and without thinking she said, “No we should go and find her. It’s bad enough she made you come to this thing with someone you don’t like, she should at least hang out with you, too.”

There was a long pause before Matt said, “You think I don’t like you?”

Sam went red as she looked back at him. Oops. “Well I mean maybe that was a little harsh but you know- you know what I meant.”

Matt shook his head, “Not really, no.”

“Oh.” She shrugged and decided that there was no use holding her tongue now, “Well I just mean that you and I aren’t exactly close friends. In fact this might be the longest conversation we’ve ever had. I get that you wanted to hang out with Hannah tonight. I just feel bad you had to come with me to do it.”

“You shouldn’t,” Matt said, “I’m not upset. In fact I was actually kinda thinking the same thing you were.”

“You were?” she asked confused.

“Yeah, I mean clearly Hannah wanted company so she and Chris weren’t stuck together alone and I felt bad she pushed you to go with me. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings or hers by saying “no” though. I wasn’t sure how you felt about it.”

“I’m not upset Hannah asked me to go with you,” she said, “I just felt bad-”

She cut herself off. What were they doing? Talking in circles of “I’m sorry” and “I’m not upset.” Were they just going to do this all night? Trapping themselves in a conversation that would never end? Sam smiled, taking his hand in her hand.

“Come on,” she said, bring them together to dance again, “Let’s just dance.”

“If that’s what you want,” he said consenting.

She led them this time which gave her some confidence. Matt was clearly a little off his game from that but he managed well enough. Once they had gotten back into a smooth rhythm she let him take the lead again. That gave him confidence and soon they were gliding along the floor gracefully again. Her elation began to climb once more and soon she was smiling widely as he led her around the floor with an equally large smile.

“Still surprised?” she teased as the song came to an end.

“Not but I’m impressed,” he answered as another song started and he did not let her go, “Did you take lessons?”

“No,” she answered as she allowed him to continue taking her around the floor, “My dad was a great dancer even though my mom isn’t so he taught me. It was kinda our thing when I was little.”

“That’s sweet,” he said, “I dance with my little sister sometimes. She loves it. She’s in the same dance class I was when I was little.”

“You have a little sister?” she gasped and he nodded. “Oh, that’s so cute. How old is she?”

“Just turned seven,” he said, “She’d a lot younger than I am.”

“Aww,” she cooed as their bodies loosened as they danced, “I bet she just adores her big brother.”

He laughed and it was relaxed, “She calls me “Matty” all the time.”

“That’s adorable. I’ve always wanted to have siblings. I almost had one but then-” She cut herself off. That was too heavy, “I’ve always wanted a sister especially.”

He didn’t answer at first. Sam’s heart stopped as she thought they were straying back into silence. She struggled to think of something to say but Matt interrupted her before she could speak. He was smirking at her as the style of song changed. He stepped back still holding her as he said, “How about we dance for real, huh?”

Sam stood up more firmly with her own smirk, “Yeah, let’s wow them.”

With that Matt twirled her into his arms and further into the center of the floor. They moved much quicker and enthusiastically to the music. They took up a lot more room as they came together and apart with vigor, matching each other in skill as they did. Matt was more refined because as he said he’d taken actual dance lessons. Sam didn’t care though. She kept up with him and he certainly didn’t look like he was having a bad time. In fact he looked like he was having an absolute blast. Maybe that was wishful thinking though because she was having that much fun, herself.

It was both that amount of joy and the physical exertion that made her breath a bit heavy when the third song came to an end and a fourth started. Despite being tired already she found herself really wanting to dance with Matt. She gave him a smile in question that he immediately returned. They must have been good cause she was pretty sure a small number of other students watched them through the crowd of people. She never got to go all out when she danced and was thrilled to have the opportunity to. Matt was a really fun guy!

He brought her back close as the music slowed down once again. He held her to him at a friendly distance. His enthusiasm was pure. There was nothing sexual about this and that was something Sam never had with a dance partner. It’s why she mostly only danced with Beth these days. Any guy that put his hands on her clearly wanted to do more than dance with her. It was nice to relax against Matt and not have to be on guard. It was so freeing.

“Nice to see you can hold your own,” Matt said with a smile, “I never get to really let go when I dance.”

“Me either,” she agreed, “That was seriously awesome.”

He shrugged, “I’m used to it, myself. Not many people can keep up with me. Physically, I mean.”

He said it with just the right amount of cockiness to remain charming. He was quite the guy. Sam was almost disappointed she wasn’t attracted to Matt. Almost. She still had Beth after all. But whatever girl scored Matt would be a lucky one that was for sure.

“Same, actually,” she said and then off-handly added, “I can’t even get Hannah or Beth to go to the gym with me anymore. They say I go too hard.”

Matt looked at her curiously, “Which gym do you use?”

“Oh, the one in the little pavillion just passed the mall.”

“Wow, small world,” he laughed, “That’s the one my family uses too.”

“Oh really? That’s a neat coincidence.” It was amazing. She had never had such an easy conversation with Matt. Guess all they needed was the right environment.

“What days do you go?” he asked.

“Wednesdays and Saturdays.”

“Could you do Wednesdays and Sundays instead?”

“Um probably. Why?”

“I don’t know I thought maybe we might try going together.” He sounded shy, “Sundays are better for me. I go after church since I have to be up anyway. I did get Ash to go with me after the service a couple times and I think she’s still mad at me for it.”

Sam laughed and was surprised just how simple it was to say, “Yeah sure, let’s make a plan for this Sunday morning then.”

“Alright, cool.” He nodded as they swayed gently. He smiled at her warmly and Sam could feel in her bones this could be the true start to their friendship.

“Hey look,” she said peering around him. The mystery of where their friend and her date had disappeared to was solved. Hannah saw her and waved at them beyond Chris’ back. He turned to look at them and waved too. The two of them stumbled because of this but quickly regained composure.

Sam was shocked Hannah had gotten Chris to dance. She was sure she had never seen Chris dance. Looking at Matt she saw he was equally surprised though a bit unhappy too. He didn’t let his gaze linger on them for long though even as it was clear the two were going to make their way over soon.

Boldly, Sam asked, “How long have you liked Hannah?”

“What?” he asked sounding caught off guard.

“How long have you liked Hannah?” she repeated.

“Does it matter?” he asked instead of answering with a shrug. No, Sam supposed, it really didn’t. He hadn’t denied it though. He did like her. He liked her in a way Sam felt sure Chris didn’t. Or if he did then Matt liked her more. The other couple was going to be there soon. Matt and Hannah were good-looking, kind people who got along really well and made each other happy. They deserved each other. Sam felt almost obligated to help Matt do something about that.

After all what else were friends for?

* * *

Hannah managed to talk him into five dances (three slow more romantic dances and two less so) with her before Sam gave him a break by switching partners. Shortly after Sam said she was tired of dancing and asked him to get food with her instead. So Matt danced with Hannah and Chris was free.

Okay that was a mean way to put it. He just couldn’t stand her goo-goo eyes for another second. He was unsure what he did to suddenly earn Hannah’s affection but he wanted to undo it. In reality he could if he just told her he didn’t see her like that. But then if Chris was good at talking to girls he’d be there with Ashley.

She and Josh had disappeared awhile ago. Though he had lingering doubts about where they had gone (the back of Josh’s jeep had seen more action than most of their friends’ beds) he chose to trust Josh even if he was mad at the guy. He was not a bad guy. There was no way he and Ashley were-

Chris needed air.

“Where are you going?” Hannah asked cutting him off at the exit. Chris froze on the spot and shoved his hands into his pockets. He looked to see if anyone else came with her. They were alone.

“I thought you were dancing with Matt,” he said as upbeat as he could.

“I did dance with Matt. It was really fun but I didn’t want you to think that I was ignoring you. That would be rude,” she continued then blushed, “I’m your date.”

“Yes, yes you are,” Chris said sighing heavily. He ran a hand through his hair as she stared up at him with a curious look on her face. Oh, she was still waiting for him to answer her earlier question.

“I was headed outside to hang out for a little bit.” He tried to stay vague. He felt pretty sure Hannah knew what Josh kept in the back room behind his bedroom but if she didn’t then he wasn’t telling her.

“Hang out and do what?” she asked taking a step closer to him. The wall was not far behind him so he couldn’t step back. She held her hands behind her back and bit her lip in that way girls did in movies. He didn’t need to try and guess at what that meant. He wasn’t that obtuse. That was flirting. Hannah was flirting with him and she had been doing things like that all night. He couldn’t take it.

“I’m going out to my truck to get high,” he admit because fuck it, he needed this.

She took a step back and thankfully out of his space. She looked shocked for a long moment and then asked, “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” he said moving around her and toward the door. He stayed close though. He wasn’t just going to walk away like that.

“You smoke?” she asked curiously with surprise in her voice.

“Yeah,” he said taking another step towards the door, “I was going to go outside do that though.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you did that,” she said quietly. The way she had said it made it sound worse than it was. Wait, did this stuff bother her? Did Hannah not like guys who smoked? That or guys who got high? Either way, this was perfect.

“Yeah, like all the time,” he said with a shrug trying to look and sound like it was an off-hand comment, “In fact half the times you’ve seen me I was probably high. I’m high a lot.”

“Are you,” she looked around then whispered, “High right now?”

“Uh no,” he said and sort of laughed at how innocent she was. She was acting as if he told her he was into much harder drugs than he was. “Hence me wanting to go out to my truck.”

“Why?” she asked, still looking a little thrown off.

“Why what?” he asked, inching toward the door.

“Why do you do it?” she asked, wandering after him. “Is it like fun?”

“I don’t know. I guess. I’ve done it so much by now that I kinda forget. But sure yeah it’s probably fun.” He was making himself sound like a much worse stoner than he actually was. He was a lot more of a few hits a day guy while he was selling Hannah an image of a guy who woke and toked until it was time to blaze before bed.

“Do you want company?” she asked as they had made it to the door.

“What?”

“Do you want me to come and hang out with you while you smoke?” she asked, “I’ve hung out with Jess and Mike when they smoke cigarettes, I mean it can’t be that different, right?”

“I guess not,” he answered walking out the door with her right behind him.

“Great,” she grabbed his hand. They walked to his truck together hand in hand and she interlocked their fingers again. Chris really didn’t want to walk along while Hannah swung their arms in rhythm with their pace. He felt so bad moving away from her every time she moved toward him. He imagined he would feel pretty awful about himself if his crush kept backing away whenever he tried to get close.

Ugh. Hannah’s crush. It was one of the last things in the world he wanted to be. It was right behind being a vegetarian, being dead and being Hannah’s boyfriend. It wasn’t going to come to that though. They were not getting to the point where she would ask him to be her boyfriend.

“Is this why you parked so far back?” she asked him when they got to the truck. She shivered and he felt himself wishing he had a jacket to lend her. He chastised himself for it immediately after. As if that wouldn’t have made the situation about fifty times worse.

“Yeah,” he answered as he dug through his glove compartment. He found the pipe, bag and lighter he was looking for with Hannah behind him at every step. She kept looking over his shoulder or around his body to see what he was doing. Even when it was something mundane. He hoped this hadn’t backfired on him and she wasn’t starting to think he was a sexy "bad boy” or something silly like that. Not only was it far from true, only douchebags self-identified as “bad boys.”

She followed after him as he went to open the back hatch of his truck. She gave him a strange look. “What are you doing?”

“I’m climbing in the back under the topper,” he answered, “I can’t smoke in the front seat. Someone will see me.”

“So we’re going to climb back there into the dark and hang out around a couple cases of warm beer?” she asked pointing inside.

“Well, you don’t have to come,” he said leadingly in the hopes she’d head back into the venue, leaving their “relationship” in nightmare land. Unfortunately she took that as a challenge because of course she did. She was still a Washington. She moved to sit on the open hatch and wait for him to lead her inside. He kind of wanted to scold her on Josh’s behalf for acting so childish.

He grabbed her hand to help her crawl into the bed and find a space among the cases of alcohol he’d yet to bring back to his and Jess’ place. She looked cramped sitting on the tarp back there with her legs curled up. Her legs were very long and she didn’t look comfortable at first. He felt bad and shifted to make room for her closer to him.

“Come on,” he said and she moved closer to him on the tarp so she could stretch her legs out a little more. She looked around the space as he reached up to turn the tiny light on behind her head. Once it was on she looked confused, watching him stuff his pipe then attempt to light it.

“There’s a light in here?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said after blowing smoke straight up about his head, “What? Did you think we were just gonna sit in the dark?”

She looked embarrassed. Apparently she had. He didn’t blame her for being out of the loop on this stuff. Hannah had probably never even seen weed before then. She’d probably flip out if she knew Josh grew and smoked pot. For an evil couple of seconds Chris thought about telling her. He considered telling her about all the wrong, nasty and illegal things Josh did she didn’t know about. That wasn’t fair to Hannah though and he’d hate himself if he made her cry. Hannah was a nice girl. She was a really nice girl and infectiously optimistic. She was “go with the flow” kind of person who put genuine trust in people and she was undeniably gorgeous. She was also suddenly very into him.

Why didn’t he like it? What was wrong with him that someone as fun, as sweet and as sexy as Hannah was all over him and he felt disgust? There had to be at least one guy out there (though probably many more) who would’ve been thrilled to be Chris. Alone in a very private, very small and very dark place with Hannah Washington who was dressed as risqué as she was and sitting almost right up against him. He was sure a few young men would be wishing that they were him at that moment if they knew.

Huh. Come to think of it. She had barely hesitated before climbing into the back of his truck. That was because he was him though and she knew she was safe. Right? If he was some other guy there was no way she would’ve come back here with him. There is no way she would go off with a guy like that. And yet she had. That really worried him and he wondered, almost terrified of the answer, how far he could talk her into going.

Sitting up more fully he held his pipe out to her, “Wanna try it?”

“What?” she asked looking at what he presented her then back at him.

“I said,” he answered holding his lighter out to her as well, flicking it on then quickly off, “Do you wanna try it?”

“Smoking pot?” she asked even though that was very obviously what he meant.

“Yeah,” he said pushing both things further out toward her in a manner that was just a little too aggressive. Honestly he felt like a jack off just pretending to be pressuring her. How were the guys who actually did this kind of stuff able to live with themselves?

“What’s the point of joining me if you aren’t gonna partake?” Chris asked shifting forward until they were sitting with their bodies pressed together, “So yes or no?”

Hannah reached back to brush her hair behind her ear, looking away from him. He was hopeful she wouldn’t do it. He didn’t want her to do it but he needed to know she wouldn’t. She brought her eyes back to look at him as she took the lighter from him first. Slowly she took his pipe as well. It took a lot of willpower not pull his hands back.

Looking unsure as she did it she lifted the pipe up into her mouth but almost dropped it soon after. She fumbled around to catch it. Once she had it between her lips. She tried to flick his lighter on with a very shaky hand. She couldn't manage to do it. She was obviously incredibly uncomfortable as she struggled with it. He couldn't take it anymore.

“Hannah, stop it,” he said grabbing her hands and he took his stuff back from her. He shook his head as he tucked everything into the small plastic bag he’d brought back with them. She was trying hard to hide how relieved she was that she didn't have to smoke.

“What?” she asked. She looked confused but also angry.

“Were you actually about to smoke when you didn’t want to because you thought I wanted you to?” Chris scolded instead of answering her.

“No,” she said looking away and embarrassed, “I wanted to try it.”

“Oh, you did?”

“Uh yeah.” She was a terrible liar. “I came out here, right?”

“You didn't even know I smoked until ten minutes ago but yeah sure you came out here with me because you wanted to get high.”

“Why are you harping on this?” she snapped. “You offered!”

“So? You shouldn’t do something just because some guy you like tells you to. You're way better than that!”

“I wasn’t-” She cut herself off with arms crossed and looked away, “You sound just like Josh!”

“Good, maybe that means you’ll listen.”

“If I don’t listen to him then why would I listen to you?”

Chris was taken aback but he answered, “Because I’m just looking out for you.”

“What is it with you guys?” Hannah snapped again, “Why do you think the world is so dangerous? Why do you think I can’t take care of myself?!”

“Cause you followed some guy into his car in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night!”

“I didn’t follow “some guy.” I followed you!”

“Yeah but you were still going to do something you didn’t want to,” he countered, “What are you thinking? If I wasn’t willing to date you until you got high first then I wouldn’t be a guy worth your time in the first place!”

He’d barely gotten to smoke and Hannah had killed the little buzz he had going. He ran hand through his hair as he watched her curl in on herself. He sighed and put a hand on her shoulder to turn her his way. It looked like she might cry and that was his fault. He really sucked at this stuff.

“Hannah, what are you doing?” he asked quietly. She rolled her eyes.

“I told you wh-”

“No,” he said gently cutting her off. He waved a hand between the two of them as he continued, “I mean this. What is this? Why are you doing this?”

She went red and didn’t answer him. She pulled her knees up (as best she could and he was a little scared her dress might rip) and she wrapped her arms around her knees. She shrugged heavily then mumbled something too quiet and garbled for him to understand.

“What?” he asked.

“You asked me!” she accused suddenly, “Why are you acting like you don’t want to be here?”

He flinched then sighed. That was a loaded question. He wasn’t about to go into every nitty, gritty detail of it but he wanted to tell her some truth. “Okay, look. When Ash and Josh decided to go together I felt left out so I decided to ask you.”

She looked a little disappointed but he pressed on anyway, “I figured we could at least have a nice time together. I didn’t think you would take it this way. I should have been more clear on that. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah well,” she sighed, “I guess it’s not all your fault. I did just kinda assume you were asking me out like on a date.”

“Well it wasn’t a leap in logic,” he laughed, “Though I can’t imagine what would make you think that?”

She looked confused, “We scored highest with each other.”

“So?” he laughed until he saw her face. Oh.

“That means-” she insisted.

“We answered a bunch of questions the same on some dumb test,” he laughed.

“It’s not just a test. It’s a compatibility test. It means we’re the most compatible.”

“Hannah, I don't know all that much about dating but I’m pretty sure that’s not how chemistry works.”

“Then how does it work, smart ass?”

“You either have it or you don’t,” he said, “You can’t force yourself to be attracted to someone. Trust me on that.”

“You don’t know that I’m not attracted to you.”

“Yes, I do.”

“How?” She was such a brat. It was somewhat endearing.

"Cause if I actually did try to make a move on you right now then you would get grossed out and probably run away.”

He needed to stop setting up challenges for her and her siblings. They were far too stubborn. So unsurprisingly he ended up with Hannah’s lip slamming against his own. She had kissed him. She had to have because there was no way he had kissed her. Though he did respond on instinct and kiss her back.

They held their mouths together for a few, far too long awkward moments until she pulled away. She hadn’t even touched him, just kept her mouth pressed to his for an uncomfortable amount of time. It was hard and stiff as she had clearly forced herself to do it. From the unimpressed look on her face it was far more than clear her feelings mirrored his. They moved as far away from each other as the tight space would allow. He assumed it must have been a bad kiss. He was happy it had been quick at least.

“Your mouth tastes funny,” she finally said.

“Well, I probably taste like weed,” he replied.

They sat there in silence for a long time. It was hard to believe he thought things were awkward at the beginning of the night. His only soothing thought was that they must have hit peak awkward and there was no worse it could get. How was kissing Hannah still the weirdest of the three?

“Wanna go get Matt and Sam so we can head to the party and pretend that this never happened?” he asked.

She looked relieved as she said, “Yes.”

Chris laughed as he shut off the light and then helped her crawl out after him. Once they were out he closed and locked the hatch as she straightened her dress. He packed his stuff back in his glove compartment and when he came back over to her she was fixing her hair. He looked around as they head back inside to find their friends. He wondered if anyone saw them come out the back of his truck and thought something indecent had happened between them. A thought itched in the back of his mind. He stopped her at the door by grabbing her shoulder again and turning her to look at him.

“What?” she asked clearly still too awkward to be okay with him touching her so he released her.

“Please promise me you won’t do something like that again,” he said pleadingly, “I do care about you, Hannah and not all guys are like me. So please.”

“I won’t,” she said in a soft but serious voice and he believed her.

Her face relaxed into an affectionate expression, the first genuine one she had given him all night. She looked like Hannah again. It was nice. He much preferred this version of her. They headed in together and right before they were through the door she added, “Thanks, Chris.”


	8. Embers still Burn

Josh was once more cursing both his and Ashley’s small size as he ran after her through the event hall. At least he knew where she was going. If she had been being truthful that was. Who knew if she was actually headed for the bathrooms or not but it was the only information Josh had work off of.

“Ash!” he called when he pushed from out of the crowd and saw she had indeed gone for the girls’ bathroom. She stopped and waited for him at the door. She bit her lip after she saw him. Hannah did that often too to keep herself from crying. From the look on her face it wasn’t working that well. She crossed her arms when he reached her.

“Yeah?” she asked simply, shrugging like she had no idea why he came after her. Josh sagged with a sigh.

“Come on, Ash,” he said, “Don’t do this.”

“What? Go to the bathroom?” She attempted to match his earlier tone, “You one of those guys who thinks there’s something wrong with girls and bodily functions. You’re being really inconsiderate tonight, Josh.”

He didn’t laugh. She could have said the most hilarious thing in the entire world and he wouldn’t have laughed. Nothing could ever sound funny coming out of that broken voice. Nothing could sound funny when she was making that awful face as she held back her tears. Man, fuck Chris!

She didn’t let him answer before she disappeared behind the door.

Josh stood there and looked around. She could be in there forever. Girls always took forever in the bathroom (somehow he was pretty sure he felt Beth mentally kick him for that thought). They didn’t have that much time left before the party and he wasn’t going to wait hanging outside the bathroom door or at their table watching the crowd for her. He’d just worry the whole time.

He sighed in exasperation. He could not believe he was about to do this.

Not giving himself the option to back out Josh pushed on the swinging door and took a long step inside. He thought about stopping to process what he did but forced himself to keep walking instead. He had made his choice and that choice had been follow Ashley into the bathroom.

Wow, that made him sound like a pervert!

“Ashley,” he called hoping she would answer. He couldn’t actively look for her and he was not knocking on the three closed stall doors to see who was in them.

Thankfully she answered immediately, “Josh?”

It came from the one closest to the door out of the bathroom. Great! He’d found her without having to be more of a creep than he was already being. He went to the stall and knocked on it gently with an ear pressed to the outside. “Ashley?”

“Go away, Josh.” She said it with a lot of cracks in her voice. His heart grew heavy and he banged ever harder.

“I’m not going until I know you’re okay.”

“I’m okay!” she said with too much aggression for that to be true, “I’m just going to the bathroom.”

“Yeah? So then do all girls cry on the toilet?” he asked, “Because it sounds like you’re crying.”

“I’m not crying,” she yelled at him, obviously crying. Josh ran his hand through his hair. He couldn’t just stand there and keep knocking. He had to actually do something for her. Anything. How did he have no ideas? Scheming and planning was his whole thing.

He leaned his back against the stall door just as another stall opened and a girl he knew from his math class walked out. She took one look at him and her face went red. She was horrified as she said, “Why the hell are you in here, Josh?!”

“It’s sorta social,” he answered, “Demented and sad, but social.”

“What?”

“Get fucked, Tiffany.”

The other girl stormed out of the bathroom but Josh couldn’t care any less than he did. Mostly because he could hear giggles through the door behind him and not long after what was clearly a latch being undone. He got off the door so that Ashley could pull it open. He leaned on the side of the frame as she nodded. There was a bundle of toilet paper in her hand painting the exact cliché he knew she wasn’t. Her eyes were red and her face was puffing up. Her eye make-up wasn’t ruined but it didn’t look good. She wiped her nose and swallowed hard.

“Breakfast Club?” she asked. He smiled, it wasn’t really a question.

“Yeah, can’t believe she didn’t get it.” Josh scoffed, “I mean what’s her deal?”

“Chicks cannot hold their smoke. That’s what it is,” Ashley replied attempting to copy the inflection and voice and everything. It wasn’t bad but neither of them could do it as well as Chris could. Which is probably why she looked bummed out again right after she did it.

“You prove that wrong every day,” he said relaxing against the side of the stall in a way that allowed him to look at her. “Hell, I’ve even seen you blow smoke rings! Having that kind of talent with your mouth is so hot.”

“Good to know someone thinks so,” she mostly mumbled. Josh couldn't believe it. Chris goes out with one girl who isn’t her and suddenly Ashley thought she wasn’t as sexy as she obviously was.

“Chris doesn’t like Hannah,” Josh repeated skipping the bullshit, “He’s here with her because- Look I know why he asked her to this stupid ass thing and it is not because he wants in her pants.”

“I know that!” Ashley snapped, “I’m not an idiot. Okay? I’m well aware Chris isn’t interested in Hannah! So you can stop saying it!”

She fell back in a huff against the back of the toilet and Josh hoped the ones in the girls’ room were cleaner than the ones in the boys’ room. She didn’t seem to care either way. He didn’t know what she wanted but he couldn’t just leave her, especially not like this. So he stayed.

“Alright,” Josh said, slowly, “So I know I have two sisters but I don’t speak “girl.” Can you just tell me why you’re upset so I can help?”

Beth would definitely kick his ass for that one.

Ashley sighed and wiped her face a few times before she said, “It would be better if he liked Hannah.”

Josh was taken back, “How? How the fuck would him liking a different girl make you feel better?”

She looked as if she was going to start crying hard again and not sure what else to do he leaned into the stall to snatch up bunch of toilet paper. It made it so he was leaning on the floor in front of her and he hoped it made her feel less alone in there.

“Because then it’s not me.”

“What?” he asked, reaching to put his hand on her knee. He didn’t understand what she meant but if she somehow thought this was her fault she was mad at the wrong person.

“If Chris likes, liked.” She bit her lip, “If it’s another girl or a guy or anyone that he likes then it isn’t me. It’s someone else. He likes someone else. That’s not a- That can change. You know, people break-up.”

“But,” she said as she started to cry again, “No, it’s me. I’m not the runner up or his second choice. I’m not even in the race. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t like her or anyone else because he still doesn’t like me.”

Josh didn’t know what to say except, “But he does like you.”

“Yeah, I can see that in how he would rather go to a dance with Hannah, a girl he doesn’t want to date, then with us, with me.”

“Ashley…” Josh said softly.

“Oh my god, what are you doing in here, pervert?!”

“Being a good friend! Take your piss and leave!”

His refusal to be ashamed chased the girl out so he was alone with Ashley again. She chuckled a little through her tears as she said, “They have a right to be upset with you. This is their bathroom. You’re making them uncomfortable.”

“Do you feel comfortable leaving the bathroom right now?” he asked still kneeling at her feet. She shook her head “no.” Josh nodded in response to her then asked, “Would you be comfortable alone?”

It took her a second to shake her head “no” again be she did. Josh brushed hair from her face, “Well dollface, I don’t give a shit if anyone else is comfortable.”

She didn't look quite happy but she also didn't look sad either. Mostly she looked overwhelmed as if there were far too many thoughts in her head to keep track of. Josh knew that feeling. The feeling of just wanting your brain to shut the hell up! He also knew Ashley was above this. Ashley was above sitting in a bathroom stall crying over a shitty guy.

She wouldn’t believe him though. It didn’t matter if he fought to convince her that she was too good for Chris or if he spent the next hour assuring her at least a hundred times Chris very much wanted to fuck her senseless. (And considering he’d never wanted to fuck anyone before, that was a compliment.) She wouldn't hear him. She would be deaf to it.

So Josh did the only thing he could think to do. He opened his jacket pocket to pull out a fairly small flask and held it out to her. She looked at it and then to him as she took it. She tried to remove the cap a few times before just holding it out for him to open. He popped the cap off and waited.

She held it up in a cheers motion before she took a quick drink. She couldn't have gotten much out of it but she coughed like she’d almost drowned in it. It was loud and hoarse. It was hard to believe the sound came from Ashley. She held his flask back out to him with her hand shaking and she almost dropped it.

“Hey,” Josh said taking it and talking over her coughing, “Careful with that, girl. It’s vintage.”

“The alcohol or the flask?” she was barely able to ask him as he took a much longer drink.

“Both,” he said with a small cough of his own, “That’s why it tastes like shit.”

Ashley held her hand out for it again, “Well, you are what you eat.”

* * *

“Where’s Hannah?” Sam asked as soon as she saw Matt coming back to their table. He pulled his jacket off the chair and then he pointed at the entryway where Chris and Hannah were talking as they walked over to the table as well.

Sam frowned. She had been so sure Matt’s amazing dances moves were going to woo Hannah. It looked like she was still stuck on the Chris thing for some reason though. Sam sighed heavily.

“Hey,” Hannah greeted. Neither she nor Chris sat down. “You guys about done? Chris and I want to head out to the party.”

Chris nodded then in a purposefully stupid voice added, “It's gonna be lit a f!”

Hannah laughed with sparkles in in her eyes. Matt laughed too but Sam didn't. She was not a fan of going back to Chris’ place, where Chris had a bedroom, while he and Hannah were getting along this well. It's not that Sam thought they might have sex it’s just that- that… Sam thought they might have sex. Hannah would do something sentimental like that. After all it was Valentine's day (or it would be after midnight) and she’d been matched with her “ideal guy.” That's exactly the kind of circumstances she would want to lose her virginity under.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Matt answered, “Sam?”

She didn't want to leave the dance yet. She wanted Matt to sweep Hannah off her feet in this much more romantic atmosphere. If he tried at the party things would be loud and messy and crowded. Not to mention Hannah might get drunk and while drunk Hannah was fun, she is also prone to getting touchy. The last thing Sam wanted was an intoxicated Hannah putting her hands all over Chris.

“Sure,” she answered standing with the rest of them. She needed to get Hannah alone first. She was not sure what she was going to say but something to finally deter her from this Chris nonsense. She had gone with the most obvious thing she could think of. “Bathroom first though. I don't think I can hold it all the way to your place. Hannah?”

“Sure,” she said but then as she looked around for something her face went pale.

“What's wrong?” Chris asked as Matt also looked around even though he had no idea what she was looking for.

“I had my clutch with me when we went outside and now I don't.” She sounded worried. Probably because the thing was expensive and had her valuables inside.

“Well maybe you dropped it on our way inside,” Chris suggested looking behind them, “Or maybe you left it in the back of the truck.”

The back of the truck? Why had Chris and Hannah been hanging out in the back of his truck? Sam didn’t like the places her mind went after a statement like that. Although making out in the back of cars was not really Hannah’s style. She was a romantic at heart.

“Maybe…” She looks worried.

“Come on,” Chris offered, “We’ll head back out and look for it while Sam goes to the bathroom. I’ll just pull around to the front to get you, okay Sam?”

She wanted to protest. It was not okay. The point was she wanted to get Hannah alone to make sure that she was not planning to make any moves him. She did have to pee but her main goal had been the Hannah thing. She didn't know what to say.

“Yeah, sure,” she ended up saying. What else could she say?

“Cool,” he said with a nod.

“Well, I’m gonna say bye to some of my teammates,” Matt piped up, “Some of them are skipping out on the party.”

“Boo,” Chris moaned playfully then nudged Hannah, “Let's look for your uh thing.”

“Clutch,” she informed him as they went back the way they came, “It's that little rectangle thing…”

Her voice faded as they wandered away. Sam deflated as Matt headed off to say “bye” to his friends. She didn't want to tell Hannah how to live her life. It wasn't her place and she knew that. She just could feel somewhere in her gut that this wasn't right. Chris was not the guy she should be with. Dating him would be a guaranteed heartbreak for them both. She just didn't want any of her friends to get hurt and she could see this was already hurting Ashley and Josh.

She sighed as she head to the bathroom. She was starting to feel bad for Josh. Seeing Hannah with Chris she could sort of understand where he was coming from. He was still wrong of course but she could see his point now. Actually she hadn't seen either him or Ashley in a long while. She thought the last time she did was when they came in hours ago. She wondered if they left for the party already. She didn't wonder much longer though as she saw them seconds after she entered the ladies room.

“Okay what about Mike?” Josh said as Ashley drank from a small flask.

“Ew no,” she answered through her soft cough. She handed the flask to him.

“Really?” he asked before he taking a drink, “You can't hate Mike that much.”

“I don't,” she said refusing the flask he held out to her, “But I’d never give him the satisfaction of thinking he won me over.”

“Seriously?” he said in disbelief, “It's a million dollars. You can not be that petty.”

“What are you two doing?” Sam asked and she could her the maternal edge in her tone. They turned to look at her and smiles broke out across their faces.

“Sam!” “Yo, Sammy!” they cheered and Josh added, “Wanna get crunk?”

“Are you hanging out in a bathroom stall drinking booze?” she said as she marched over to them, “Why are you even in here, Josh?”

“Jesus, fuck! Why do girls keep asking me that?” he groaned.

“Because this is the girls’ bathroom!” Sam scolded and Ashley giggled. "I can't believe you guys have been sitting in here getting drunk all night!"

Josh waved her off as Ashley said, “We’re not drunk. We've barely had anything to drink.”

“Yeah, just enough to feel good,” Josh defended and then he held up his flask and shook it, “It's over half full or something. And we were both drinking out of it.”

Sam took the flask from him and he cried out, “Hey!”

She held her hand out, demanding, “Keys too.”

“Pssh, no way,” Josh said, “I can still drive.”

As he said this he used Ashley’s shoulder to help him stand up. He wobbled a little but not that badly. He might have be right but Sam was not taking that chance. She reached forward and dug his keys out of his pocket as he was busy pulling Ashley to her feet.

“Stop taking my stuff,” he bit and Ashley giggled again. She stumbled more than Josh but it seemed they were telling the truth. Neither of them were too drunk. Still she tucked the keys in her bag.

“Wait here,” she commanded, “I’m going to the bathroom and then I'll figure out what to do with you.”

“Yes, mom,” Ashley said playfully. Sam wasn’t in the mood for games though and headed into the stall they had just been sitting in.

She finished quickly but luckily she heard the morons laughing about something right outside her stall. Once she was done, she gave them a warning look as she head to the sink to wash off her hands. Then she went over to them and pointed to the door with a firm, “Out, now.”

“Fine,” Josh groaned again as he pulled Ashley after him and out of the bathroom. Sam followed with no idea what to do. She marched the whispering and laughing fools to the door where she was meant to meet Matt, Chris and Hannah. There was no room in the truck for all of them and besides that Chris and Josh in the same vehicle sounded about as smart as putting a campfire in the middle of a paper plant.

She saw Matt waiting for her when she got outside. No sign of Chris or Hannah. They must have still been looking for her bag in the parking lot.

“Matt!” Ashley chimed walking over to him to throw her arms around her neck. Matt caught her with zero hesitation. He had quick reflexes apparently.

“Hey, Ash,” he laughed, “Had a drink or two, little lady?”

She looked like she was thinking. “Just a little.”

“Where are my keys?” Josh asked then remembered she took them, “Give me my keys back.”

“You two are not driving home.”

“We're not that drunk,” Josh asserted grabbing at her for his keys. Sam stepped away from him. She looked at Matt holding Ashley as she cuddled against him.

“What do we do?” she asked Matt. “We can't let them drive.”

“I'm fine!”

“I got them,” Matt said reaching for the keys. Josh made a grab for them as she handed them over but Matt blocked him by shifting Ashley into his arms instead.

“Josh!” she chimed up again hugging him tightly to her. Josh wrapped his arms around her with an annoyed sigh. She cuddled into his chest.

“Alright,” Matt said putting a hand on Josh's shoulder to lead him to his car. He let himself be pushed that way dragging Ashley along with him, “Let's go you two.”

Sam watched the group make their way through the parking lot. She was relieved Matt offered because she did not want to leave Chris and Hannah alone together for the rest of the night.

The truck pulled up not a minute later and Sam crawled into the back. Chris had put his music on again but Hannah didn't look as opposed to the idea as she had. She buckled in as Chris looked back and asked, “Where's Matt?”

Sam rolled her eyes. Part of her didn't want to tell the truth but she couldn't think of a good lie either so she admitted, “Ashley and Josh already started drinking so Matt is taking them home.”

They both looked worried for a moment before relief graced their faces instead. They were happy they wouldn't have to deal with the other two. That didn't make her feel better about the Chris and Hannah situation though. They were getting on too well.

Oh well, at least that was all the drama she was going to have to worry about for the rest of the night.

* * *

“Could you have taken any longer?” Jess complained as soon as he got back to the house. She didn’t even say “hi” to the three of them before she was off on her bitching at him. He didn’t say anything as he locked his truck and went to the back hatch with her a step behind him.

“Right, so, see you inside, Chris,” Sam said quickly before grabbing Hannah’s arm and running up the driveway into the house. That was weird. She didn’t even give Hannah enough time to say anything before they were out of sight. He ignored it and turned to Jess.

“Did you just leave these in the back while you were at the dance?” she asked looking passed him.

“Yeah.”

“Ugh, so it’s warm?”

“High schoolers looking to get drunk off their asses don’t care if the beer is cold.” She huffed after he said that and just stood there as he pulled the first case out. He noticed her making no move toward him and sighed loudly.

“Are you gonna help me?” he asked motioning inside the back. She gave him a nasty look.

“No,” she said, arms crossed. Chris groaned.

“Then can you get someone who will help me?” he asked hearing the annoyance in his voice. She rolled her eyes before she walked off as if Chris asking for help carrying in the beer she’d demanded he get was some kind of outlandish request on his part. He rolled his eyes as well reaching in to pull out another case.

“Hey, man, you need a hand?” he heard behind him and turned around to see Matt standing there. He grinned widely as he stepped around Chris to grab the next case to drag out. Chris went back to it as well.

“How did you get here so fast?” he asked as they stacked the cases. Matt looked at him strangely.

“What do you mean? I was behind you basically the whole ride here.”

“What?” he asked almost dropping the beers he was holding. “What about Josh and Ashley?”

“What about them?” Matt said giving him another strange look as he grabbed more beer from the back.

“Where are they?” Chris asked looking around. Matt was kind of dumb. There was no way Matt was that dumb though.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, “They took off like the second we got here.”

Apparently he was that dumb, “Why did you bring them here? I thought you were taking them home.”

“Why? It’s not like they’re totally shit-faced. They just had a few shots.”

Chris groaned again. Great. His plan had been to take the first liquor bottle he could find and his pipe to his room to indulge until he either passed out or died. Granted he could still do that but that meant leaving a drunk Ashley and Josh alone at the party together. Which was fine. Because Josh was his friend. Even if they were fighting Josh was his best friend. His brother. He said he wouldn’t touch Ashley so he wasn’t going to touch Ashley. Definitely wouldn’t. Nope. Never. Would not.

“I have to go,” Chris said dropping the case he was holding. He needed to find Josh and Ashley that second. They were drunk and currently Josh hated him and Ashley was clearly interested and people did dumb things when they were drunk and this week had been weird enough for anything to happen. If Josh was going to sleep with Ashley then he was going to sleep with her but he wasn’t doing it in Chris’ house!

Thankfully Chris was a big guy and people didn’t often want to be in his way so navigating the crowd was easy. It was pretty easy to knock drunk people aside. There were still a lot of people crammed into the space. Their place was nice but it wasn’t huge or anything. That was good, there were only so many places the two of them could have gone. Hopefully Jess had mostly blocked off the upstairs so he could cut his search in half.

Fuck Josh! What the hell made him think he had a right to come to Chris’ party with Chris’ girl anyway?! Knowing that douche if he could he would fuck her in Chris’ bed too. Why did he have to be best friends with such a raging dickhead to begin with? What the fuck had Chris been thinking when he met Josh? He must have been one desperate, lonely kid.

The living room and kitchen were out as the former was packed so anyone who wanted to have any kind of fun wouldn’t find it in there. The latter was far more empty so a quick glance told him they weren’t in there. Who hangs out in the kitchen during a party? Next was weaving through the long line leading to the guest bathroom.

“Hey, Chris!” Beth called as he shoved right passed her. He had no time to talk. The longer it took him to find them the more panicked he got. Matt had Josh’s keys so they couldn’t leave. They had to be there somewhere. Their house was only so big. Chris had to find them eventually.

He came to his step-dad’s office right after and banged hard to the door. No one was supposed to go in there. However he knew nobody was going to listen and neither he nor Jess cared enough to monitor it. They’d just clean it up tomorrow. Hopefully that didn’t mean cleaning up someone else’s bodily fluids even though it probably would mean exactly that.

That thought made Chris freak out. He banged even harder on the door, yelling, “Hey, hey, who’s in there? Open the door!”

He pulled on the handle, “Unlock this door!”

He stepped back as he heard the door unlatching. He bounced nervously on his feet as he waited. He couldn’t take it for very long and as soon as it sounded like the door was unlocked, he grabbed the handle and wretched the door open with far too much force.

He was met with Mike’s face, “Dude, what the fuck?!”

Mike was shirtless which should have made what was happening in there obvious but Chris was not thinking straight. “Are Josh and Ashley in there?”

“No,” Mike answered like Chris had asked the stupidest question ever.

“Well do you know where they are? Have you seen them?”

“No.” The way he said it had an implication behind it that he seemed to expect Chris to understand. He was desperate for something though.

“Do you have an idea where they might have gone?”

“I don’t know dude,” he sighed annoyed, “They’re your best friends.”

“Alright but if you see them-”

“Would you just fucking leave?” He heard Emily’s voice snap from somewhere behind Mike. Mike looked that way. Then he turned back to him. It looked like he was about to say something but Chris thought he saw red hair at the end of the hall and slammed the door in Mike’s face. He chased after the redhead.

He raced forward not even caring that he was shoving people out of the way as he did. He had to find Ashley! He absolutely had to. He couldn’t let this happen. He felt like he might actually cry at the idea of Ashley with Josh. That wasn’t fair. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t like her. Not the way Chris did. No one liked her as much as Chris did.

“Hey,” he called as he broke through the crowd. The red head turned around but it wasn’t Ashley. Fuck! He ran off again yelling back, “Nevermind!”

Last place to look was the pool. Unless they went out to Josh’s jeep. Chris did not want to entertain that possibility a second time. They were by the pool because they had to be. Upstairs in one of their bedrooms was worse than out in the jeep if less likely.

Chris saw Ashley sitting on a pool chair looking around with a drink in her hand and he actually sighed in relief. She was there. She was also alone which made him mad at Josh for ditching her but he preferred that. He bent over and took a few deep breaths in before he regained some composure. When he looked up Ashley was looking his way with a smile and she waved at him then motioned for him to come over.

He swallowed then looked around. With a smile he waved back and made his way around the pool over to her side. If he was with her then that meant Josh wasn’t with her. His own awkwardness with her aside that was the much better scenario. So he went right for her at a slower pace.

“Hey, Chris,” she giggled when he reached her.

“Hey,” he responded sitting next to her on her chair. “Heard you started your party a little early?”

She looked ashamed and turned away from him to stare at the ground, “Yeah, Josh and I felt like pregaming at the dance.”

“Hey, Chris!” He heard someone call. He saw Hannah close by waving. He waved. After their… moment the awkwardness between them had melted away. He didn’t like her. She didn’t like him. What point was there to being embarrassed about it? Sam quickly turned Hannah back around to look at her though.

He turned to Ashley when she let out a weird kind of sobbing noise. She took a very long drink and shook her head roughly afterward. She forced a smile onto her face. Her face was red and he could see she had wiped her makeup off to the best of her abilities. She sniffed and wiped her nose. She didn’t look that drunk but then Ashley was the type of drunk where things sort of caught up to her and hit her all at once.

He cleared his throat, “Josh brought his flask then?”

“Doesn’t he always,” she said, trying her best to look happy again but she didn’t. She took another long drink. It didn’t look pleasant.

He looked into her cup, “You’re not still drinking, are you?”

“Of course I am,” she laughed in a weird choked way, “It’s a party!”

“What are you drinking?” he asked concerned, moving closer.

“Does it matter?” she answered, leaning away.

“Yes,” he said reaching for her cup, “Ash, you know you’re a lightweight.”

She pulled away from him, “Stop!”

“Come on,” he said trying to grab her cup from her again, “You should at least switch to beer if you wanna keep drinking. Please.”

“Stop it!” He reached for her anyway happy she wasn’t saying that loud enough to get attention. She pushed him back from her but not hard. He’d just gotten it out of her hand when he felt the presence of someone next to them. He looked up quickly and was not surprised to see Josh standing over them. He had a beer in each of his hands. One was probably for Ashley. He had the same idea as Chris.

“The fuck are you doing, jackass?” he growled as tucked both cans under one arm and pulled Ashley to her feet. “She told you to stop!”

“I’m making sure she doesn’t drink too much,” Chris snapped getting to his feet, “You know Ashley can’t handle her alcohol.”

“She doesn’t need you to do that! I’m doing that!”

“You got her drunk in the first place!”

“Oh for fuck’s sakes! She’s not drunk. We did some shots and hers were closer to half-shots,” Josh yelled passing both cans to her, “And she wouldn’t have needed a drink if you weren’t being such a dick to her! But sure you go on and try to play “Knight in shining armor” now!”

“I’m not playing “Knight in shining armor,” dumbass,” Chris yelled, “I’m looking out for her seeing as you left her alone!”

“Yeah? And where’s your date? You know my sister? Cause I don’t see her!”

“She’s with Sam! Unlike you I didn’t just abandon her to get a couple beers!”

“Guys, stop,” Ashley cried stepping between them, “Please, stop fighting! Why are you fighting so much?”

Josh gently pushed her aside and stepped closer to him, “I’m sick of you always sitting on your goddamn high horse! You think you’re so much better than me, don’t you? Well at least I was honest with Ashley! At least I actually wanted to go with her! At least I didn’t trick her!”

“I didn’t trick Hannah!”

“Yes you did! You used her to get back at me!”

“She didn’t seem that upset about it! In fact she seemed pretty damn excited to go out with me! And you know what, she was more than willing to let me use her in any way I wanted to.”

Josh scoffed, “Yeah, right. Don’t even try fooling me into thinking you slept with my sister. You haven’t even fucked Ashley when she couldn’t be more up on your limp dick! Hell, she'd be your own personal little whore if you wanted her to be.”

Chris barely registered his fist colliding with Josh’s face.

“Oh my god.” He heard Hannah gasp while Ashley just cried out in horror. It was his own damn fault. Nobody, Josh included, talked about Ashley like that in front of Chris. He shook his hand to alleviate the pain, he must have hit Josh hard.

Josh stumbled back a couple steps and almost fell. He turned as soon as he was steady on his feet, blood on his face. He came right at Chris who threw his hands out to block him. Josh was short though and ducked under his arm to slam his fist hard into Chris’ gut. He bent forward, the wind knocked out of him. He managed to grab Josh shoulders and with a firm tug they tumbled to the ground.

“Yeah! Kick his ass!” Someone yelled. Which started a chorus of “Kick his ass!” Though who was chanting and which guy was being cheered on was unknown.

“Get the fuck off of me!” Josh yelled trying to elbow his stomach while Chris held him in a headlock. They were stuck on their knees as Chris pulled Josh’s hair and Josh swung a fist wildly at his face. Chris couldn’t see anything but he felt blood from Josh’s face and his own knees bruising as they thrashed around trying to get the best hold on the other.

Suddenly Chris felt a pair of hands on his shoulders at the same time someone shoved between him and Josh. Seconds later Josh was pulled from his grasp and he was yanked back onto his butt. He fought to knock off whoever had grabbed hold of him and found he couldn’t. He looked up to see Matt looking concerned but upset. Chris turned quickly to see Sam held Josh back in a similar manner and the force that had been pushed in between them stood looking from one to the other like a disapproving mother.

“That’s it!” Beth yelled, “Get the fuck up! Both of you!”

Matt and Sam reluctantly let them go. Chris let Matt help to his feet while Josh pulled from Sam’s grip and struggled to stand on his own snatching the towel she offered to clean his nose. Beth continued to look between them as if she was about to explode. Chris saw Josh wilt under her gaze and knew he did the same.

“Come with me,” she said walking off toward the house. She turned back around and when she saw they weren’t following her added, “Now!”

At that they rushed after her as she led them through the crowd. He didn’t know what she had planned but he knew it couldn’t have been good. He’d felt safe going blow for blow with Josh. He’d felt safe to make a fool of himself at his party knowing Jess would chew him out for it later. But he’d pissed off Beth Washington and no man should feel safe once her claws were out.


	9. From the Ashes

Beth led them inside and across the house and as a group they managed to force their way through the suffocating crowd. More than once Josh thought about just slipping through the bodies and ditching her. To bad he had to go home with her and she would be a nightmare to live with for at least the week if he didn't listen. So he followed Chris who was following after Beth.

He was surprised when she took them into the kitchen of all places and then up to a door near the back of the room. Josh didn't know where it went but he did see Chris looked confused when she opened the door. She pointed inside as soon as it was open.

“In!” she snapped.

“You want us to go into the pantry?” Chris asked.

“Yes! In!” she repeated in a tone the spurred Josh into movement. He half-ran in and was immediately bumped to the back as Chris came in behind him. He turned around to scowl at him. Although it wasn't really his fault. The space was just big enough for two people to fit comfortably. Beth was forcing three people into it. She even closed the door behind her which made things feel cramped but not to the point where it was terribly awkward yet.

Beth looked at them with fire and lighting in her eyes. She was not happy at all. Bad things were more likely to happen whenever Beth was unhappy. She looked over the two of them in turn then took a deep breath before, “I am done with you and your bullshit toxic masculinity, immature, pissing contest ruining everyone else's lives!”

Josh went to speak and heard Chris do the same only for Beth to yell, “No!”

They both flinched but Beth ignored them. She blocked the door so they had very little choice but to listen. She kept looking between them and Josh wasn’t sure if it was scarier when she was looking at him or when she was looking at Chris and he could see the veins in her neck ready to pop.

“I am talking now! You two assholes are going to listen to me!”

They remained quiet and when she felt sure they weren’t going to try interrupting again she continued, “Do you even know what you are fighting about? Do you? Because the rest of us sure as fuck don’t. Oh, wait, wait. Yes, I remember now. It’s you two trying to mark your territory like a pair of disgusting fucking animals! So how about we get some shit out of the way right now, huh?”

She got right in Chris’ face and demanded, “Chris, do you want to date Hannah?”

He was quiet for a moment. Josh thought possibly out of fear and then he clicked his tongue and said, “No.”

Beth nodded then switched over to looking right into his face before she asked, “Josh, do you want to date Ashley?”

Honestly? He’d never really seen Ashley in that way. She was almost like a sister to him so he answered, “No, I don’t.”

“Ah, okay,” she said stepping back to the door, “So you two are fighting over girls you don’t want to fuck?”

Josh looked over at Chris who met his gaze for a half-second then looked away. Put like that it sounded- That was her point. It was stupid. That didn’t make him less mad at Chris though. Beth however was not done.

“And you need to stop acting like Hannah and Ashley aren’t fully autonomous people who can make their own fucking decisions.” She pointed an angry finger at Chris saying, “Ashley is not yours!” then she pointed that same finger, equally as angry, at Josh saying, “Hannah is not yours!”

She crossed her arms, back to glaring at them in turn, “From this moment on you are going to treat them like fucking human beings, not your goddamn property!”

Josh met Chris’ eyes a second feeling like an awful person. From the look in the other guy’s eyes it was a shared feeling. They hadn’t been meaning to act like the girls belonged to them. That’s exactly what they’d been doing. He hadn’t stopped for even one second to consider how Hannah really felt about all this. All he cared about was his dumb promise. Chris was in a similar boat with Ashley. Josh didn’t want to date Ashley but if he did and Ashley wanted to date him that wasn’t really Chris’ business. It looked like he might have come to that understanding as well.

Beth however wasn’t done yet. She was much calmer though as she explained, “You guys have been best friends for eight years. I have seen you two fight over some stupid shit but I have never seen you so angry. It makes me sad. You mean so much to each other and it would really suck if you two threw your friendship away over one Valentine’s day.”

She shook her head, “No one wants to see this. So you either need to work it out or leave each other _and_ Hannah and Ashley alone.”

With that she left, closing the pantry door hard behind her.

Josh and Chris stood there in silence for awhile. What was there to say after that? Beth had covered most of the basics. What were they left with but the stuff under the lid. The gross parts no one wanted to deal with. There was no dancing around this anymore. They had to talk. Josh sighed.

“I wasn’t thinking when I asked Ashley if she wanted to go to the dance together. You were upset and I thought- I thought if I offered for all of us to go together that would make you feel better. I didn’t think you would- I know how much you like her and I just wanted to- help, I guess.”

Josh leaned against the nearest shelf, “But I should’ve asked you first. I shouldn’t have just assume I knew what was best.”

“Yeah well, I kinda made a big deal out of nothing.” Chris was leaning on the shelf opposite of him.

“You really did,” Josh tried not to laugh but it slipped through, “Look, I get that you like Ashley-”

“No,” Chris snapped, “No, you don’t get it. If you got it then you wouldn’t have even thought about asking her and you never would have followed through even if you did. So no, Josh, you don’t get it.”

“Why the hell are you so fixated on her?” Josh heard himself almost yell at him, “She’s one girl, Chris.”

“She’s not just one girl! She’s **_the_** girl! The only girl and you could never possibly understand that!”

“The fuck are you on about?” Josh tried to keep composure as Chris grew angry.

He ran his hands through his hair a few times and again looked like he might cry. Josh got the feeling he would be pacing is he could. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes hard. Putting them back on he sighed heavily and then grabbed a box nearby to sit on. He wasn’t looking at Josh as he cleared his throat and then made a weird choking noise.

“You have more sex than anyone else I know,” he finally said.

“Yeah?” Josh asked unsure what that had to do with anything.

“If you’re not dating someone, you’re sleeping with someone. Anyone who is “warm, wet and willing,” right? Even when you aren’t seeing someone then you still have Jess to fall back on. So long as she isn’t dating anyone else you have someone to be with.”

“What’s your point?”

“You have all of these options,” Chris sounded like he might cry once more, “But- For me there’s one. One person, one girl, who has ever made me feel anything. It’s a nice feeling, wanting to be with someone. Flirting and teasing and thinking about being together. You have so many options, you don’t need Ashley. I do.”

“Dude…” Josh sighed slowly.

“I don’t want to lose her to anyone but especially not you. You could be with so many other people. Why her? Why the one person who makes me happy?”

“I don’t want to be with Ashley,” Josh said leaning towards him a little.

“I know but somebody will. I can’t do anything about that,” Chris swallowed hard, “What if this it for me? What if this is my shot? I never felt anything like this until me and her met. What if I lose her and then- What if I never feel this way again?”

“You’ll feel like this again,” he found himself saying, “I mean if things don’t end up working out with Ash, you’ll meet someone else.”

“You don’t know that. This one girl could be all I get.”

Josh sighed again, “If that’s true then whatever I do doesn’t matter. You’ve done a great job of fucking things up on your own.”

“What?” Chris suddenly looked at him, confused and upset. Josh rolled his eyes.

Josh pulled another crate from where Chris had gotten his and sat down as well, “You’re so fucking worried about screwing things up because you think this is it for you that you’re already ruining it. She cried all night in the bathroom because she doesn’t know this is how you feel about her.”

“If you don’t do something then she’s gonna move on. And you can’t just keep trying to chase away anyone and everyone who wants to be with Ashley. If you genuinely think this is your only chance at love why aren’t you taking it?”

“What if she doesn’t want me after she finds out?” He was staring at the ground.

Josh breathed a laugh, “Bro, Ashley really likes you. I doubt she’s gonna care that you’ve never had sex or why. I mean does that sound like her?”

“I guess not.”

“If you really want her, and clearly you do, you need to do something about it.”

Chris sighed, “I hate when you’re right.”

“Only cause the truth is so hard for your little brain to handle,” Josh laughed.

"I'm sorry about the Hannah thing, too," Chris said, "I know it was petty. I was just so upset. I wasn't actually going to ask her. I just thought messing with you would make me feel better. But as soon as I saw her she thought that was what I was asking and I didn't know what to say and you know how Hannah gets."

Josh sighed. Yeah he knew.

"Anyway it was dickish of me to drag her into this. I just didn't want to hurt her feelings."

"I know," Josh said then rolled his eyes, "And I know Hannah is hard to reign in at times."

"Well don't worry," Chris laughed, "I am apparently terrible at dating and she is totally over this. Thank God!"

Josh laughed too. He should have known he didn't have to worry about Chris. He was a good guy. He had been hurt and did something stupid. Holding a grudge against him would make Josh a giant ass hypocrite. He'd done some shitty things to Chris over the years and the lovable idiot always forgave him. So with a smile Josh clapped him on the shoulder and said, “So we cool, man?”

Chris ran his tongue over his teeth with a smile, “Yeah, we’re cool.”

“Great,” Josh said standing up and reaching for the door, “I’m getting so many Shining vibes in here I half expect an axe to slam through that door any second.”

“Josh, wait,” Chris called out of nowhere and he turned to see him standing up, “We’re- we’re not cool.”

“What do you mean?” he asked more nervous than upset. He and Chris seemed like they had truly made up. Why was Chris taking it back?

“I have to tell you something about Hannah,” Chris answered looking sad, staring into Josh’s eyes.

Worry seized Josh’ heart immediately, “What? What do you mean? Did something happen to her tonight?”

Chris stuffed his hands in his pockets, “No, yes, kinda. Listen, I took Hannah out to the parking lot with me earlier cause I needed to smoke.”

“She didn’t follow you into the back of your truck though, right?” Josh asked as the implication Chris was giving him became clear. His best friend’s face told him that she very much had. “Are you fucking kidding me? What’s wrong with her?”

“It gets worse,” he said slowly, “Now keep in mind I just wanted to see what she would do. I didn’t mean it and I wasn’t ever going to actually let her do it.”

“Chris,” he warned.

“We were hanging out in the truck bed. She was uncomfortable with me smoking. So I offered to let her smoke some to see if she would when she didn’t want to…”

"What?!" Josh didn’t need to hear the rest. He had a good guess at where this was going. He wasn’t sure which was worse, his disappointment or his anger as he yelled, “Why would she do something so stupid? Just to impress some guy? And not even one worth the effort!”

“Hey!”

“I can’t believe she would do that! What was she even thinking?” Josh carried on, ignoring him, “What if you’d asked her to take her top off or give you a blow job? Would she have done that too? God, Hannah!”

Josh needed to let Hannah know exactly what he thought of her being so naive. She was lucky she had been with Chris. Someone else might’ve taken advantage of her! He head for the door as he said, “Thanks for letting me know. I’m going to go tell her exactly how dangerous what she did was.”

“Josh, stop!” Chris came forward and put his hand on the door to stop him from opening it. Josh turned his way, curiously. Chris was hesitant before he continued, “I think that this might be the problem.”

“Excuse you?” Josh said trying to hold back the venom in his voice. He and Chris had just resolved things after all.

“She won’t listen to you,” he said it with emphasis, “She told me that she doesn’t listen to you. Anything you say is going right through her. She doesn’t understand what she did tonight was dangerous because you told her it was and she doesn’t believe you.”

Chris said it as slowly as he could knowing Josh was going to feel the heartache that was already settling in his chest. Hannah didn’t trust him? No, that couldn’t be true. Of course Hannah trusted him. He was her big brother. Her protector and she knew how much he cared about her. She knew how much he wanted to keep her safe. She knew. She knew!

Yet despite all of the times he told her what a bad idea it was she had apparently been willing to do something she didn’t want to do just to impress Chris. How far would she have gone for that? If he had wanted her to would Hannah have done something worse? Would she have let him touch her if she didn’t want it? Would she have let Chris do things to her she knew she wasn’t ready for? How much would Hannah have let him have before she said no? If she even said no.

“I think,” Chris said, slowly again, “I think she thinks you’re just being paranoid. She isn’t hearing you because she doesn’t care what you have to say.”

“But I’m right!” Josh insisted, “If you had wanted to- Bad things could have happened to her!”

“I know you’re right but she doesn’t.”

“Why would she ignore me like that? She knows I’m just trying to keep her safe.”

“Because you treat her like a child and you talk over her and you don’t let her make her own choices. You looked like you wanted to drag her back upstairs and make her change when she came down for the dance earlier. You were ready to kill me and Matt if we so much as looked at her.”

Josh gaped at him, “Okay but you saw what she wore.”

“Oh yeah, I saw. I saw it a lot,” Chris looked uncomfortable for a bit but it looked like he forced the feeling back down to say, “I think she doesn’t trust you because you don’t trust her.”

Josh fumbled for something to say. Chris had to be wrong. He had to be because Hannah loved him. Hannah knew, she had to know, that everything he did for her he did because he loved her. She had to. However the evidence was right in front of him that she didn’t. She outright ignored his advice to never do what a guy asks just because he asked. Heh. Advice. Thinking back on it, it had been more like a command.

“Hannah is going to date,” Chris said, picking up on the fact that Josh didn’t know what to say next, “She’s a sweet, fun, attractive girl. Guys are going to want to take her out. Hell, judging by the looks she got tonight, guys already want to take her out. There’s nothing you can do to stop this.”

“I don’t.” He swallowed and embarrassingly felt tears building in his eyes. “I don’t want her to get hurt.”

“Getting hurt is part of life. It just happens. She is going to date and she is going to get hurt. But wouldn’t you prefer her to trust you? Don’t you want her to be able to come to you when she needs you? To listen to you? Don’t you want her to be able to cry on her big brother’s shoulder when she does get hurt? Don’t you want to be able to be there for her?”

He did because of course he did.

“I get it,” Chris said then amended, “Well, no, I don’t get it. I know you’re scared but you have to let her go, Josh.”

Josh laughed through his tears, “You know, it’s not fun when you’re right either.”

Chris didn’t say anything but he did grab Josh by the shoulders and yanked him towards him. Next thing Josh knew his face was buried in Chris’ chest as his arms crushed his back. Josh threw his hands up and was almost clawing his nails into Chris’ back as he returned the hug. He bunched up Chris’ shirt in his tight grip as he tried to stop himself from crying.

“I’m sorry,” Chris said and Josh could hear he was crying as well.

“Me too,” Josh answered as they held onto each other with a strong hold.

When they stepped back Josh saw Chris was indeed crying. He knew he was crying too. Chris took of his glasses to wipe his face and Josh cleaned his own face as well. They sniffled as they got themselves under control. They had on wide smiles as they cleaned themselves up and regained their composure.

“We’re not telling anyone we cried in the pantry like a couple of little bitches, right?” Josh heard himself ask.

“Absolutely not,” Chris agreed. Josh laughed at that. It was nice to be back on the same page with Chris. He had missed them getting along. Chris laughed with him though Josh was sure he didn’t know what was funny.

“Come on,” Chris said opening the door, “I think I know a couple of girls we also owe an apology.”

“Yeah,” Josh said as he followed Chris out of the pantry happy to be leaving their fight behind them as he did. They pat each other on the shoulder for good luck, knowing they would need it for the conversations to come. Chris also gave him an encouraging smile before the two went their separate ways. Beth had been right. Something like this wasn’t worth losing your best friend over.

And Josh had a pretty great best friend.

* * *

“What the hell was that about?” Sam asked as soon as her girlfriend joined her and Hannah by the poolside again.

Beth rolled her eyes and waved her hand as if she didn’t have the energy to deal with it. Sam hadn’t expected things to escalate they way they had. Sam had felt pretty confident the fight had been over either Ashley or Hannah or both. She had never seen Josh and Chris go for each other’s blood like that. Luckily when she pulled Josh back it looked like Chris had merely caused a minor nose bleed and Josh’s nose wasn’t broken. Still they had never fought like that. They fought often but never so violently.

“Is Josh okay?” Hannah asked a moment later, concern lacing her voice.

“He’s fine,” Beth almost snapped as if she was upset Hannah was worried about their brother. Both Hannah and Sam flinched back. Beth noticed this and sighed, “They’re figuring it out. They’ll either love each other or hate each other by the end of the night but no matter what happens they’ll stop with all this.”

“Those two have been so moody lately, haven’t they?” Sam said looking over at Hannah when she did. Her face looked very distressed with her eyes were almost drooping down with sadness. She met Sam’s gaze then turned away before she looked back once more.

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” she asked the two of them.

“Hannah…” Sam said reaching out to put an arm around her. She held her close to her body and rubbed her shoulder. Beth crossed her arms and moaned loudly as if she was annoyed.

“It’s not your fault,” she said, “Those two idiots are being just that, idiots.”

“But Josh is mad cause I went out with Chris,” she insisted. She looked like she might actually cry as her lip trembled and her voice broke a bit, “If I hadn’t gone to the dance with him they wouldn’t be fighting.”

“So? You can’t control how other people react to things, Han.”

Hannah sighed, “I guess. I just don’t like that they’re fighting.”

“You had a right to go on your date,” Beth asserted, “Josh doesn’t have any right to tell you who to date. You wanted to go out with Chris so that’s what you did. Whatever issue he has is his issue. It seems like you had a nice time out with him and that’s what matters.”

Hannah smiled and Sam felt her stomach do an almost painful flop. She wanted to tell her girlfriend to shut up. Chris and Hannah was not happening and the less encouragement Hannah got the better. Sam actually felt a sensation of real fear when Hannah said, “Yeah, it was a lot of fun actually. I even got Chris to dance. He isn’t very good though.”

Beth eyes shot open wide, “Wow, that’s crazy. I can’t even imagine that. He must really like you.”

Okay Sam kind of wanted to hit Beth after a statement like that. Luckily though it was just the right thing to say because Hannah responded, “Oh no, no. That’s not going to happen.”

“Why not?” Beth asked and then her face went stoney, “Is this because of Josh? Do I need to talk to him?”

“Calm down, Beth. It's got nothing to do with Josh. I mean Chris and I had a nice time together,” Hannah said, “But there’s no real spark between us, you know?”

Sam actually sighed out loud and both of them stared at her. She barely cared though feeling relief fill her body. She should have known Hannah would come to her senses once she actually went out with Chris. She had been worried about this mess for nothing but she didn’t have it in her to be upset by that. This was good news and Sam was just going to enjoy that.

“He’s still a pretty great kisser though,” Hannah laughed talking directly to Beth. Beth laughed too and Sam cringed. They looked at her and laughed even harder.

“Sorry,” she moaned, “I just don’t like the idea of either of you kissing Chris.”

“That’s okay cause it’s never going to happen again. Beth’s got you and I have zero interest in another go at it,” Hannah mock-sighed and said, “It’s a bummer my first backseat makeout session was so dull though.”

Hannah shrugged afterward and Sam bumped her shoulder playfully. “You’ll have more chances.”

Hannah didn’t see it but Sam looked over her shoulder at Matt. He was currently talking to another of his teammates but he had been with Ashley right after the fight broke out. She was confident Matt had left her somewhere safe. She thought about calling him over to hang out with them instead. She felt good about how not awkward it was to wave at him as a signal to come over. He waved back and held up his pointer finger to show he’d be over in a minute.

Beth saw the exchange and said, “If we’re waiting for Matt to come over and join our little group I’m getting a drink. You guys want anything?”

“Nah,” Hannah said holding up her cup, “I have a drink. Cherry vodka and I put it in some Root Beer. It’s so good.”

Beth rolled her eyes at just disgustingly sweet Sam knew she thought that was. Sam loved her grumpy little lover girl. Beth looked her way, “Anything for you?”

“I want the same as Hannah,” Sam said just to annoy her. Though she liked it as much as Hannah did that wasn’t why she asked for it. Beth let out an exasperated sigh before she turned and walked off to wherever the alcohol was being stored and disappeared into the crowd.

When Sam turned back around she noticed another Washington was heading over to their little table from the other direction. Her hand went to her best friend’s bicep in a show support on instinct. Just because Hannah was over her obsession with dating Chris didn’t mean Sam suddenly trusted Josh. He was the same guy he’d been before all this started or so she presumed.

“Hey,” he said when he reached them and nothing more.

Hannah reached for him then pulled her arm back and away. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said with a deep sigh. He looked at her standing there holding onto Hannah’s arm and it looked like he wanted to ask her to leave. He must have decided it was no use though because he shrugged and turned back to look over at Hannah. He breathed another deep sigh. He was definitely preparing himself for something. Sam worried what.

“Listen, Hannah,” he started, “Us guys, we’re assholes. All of us. Every single one of us is an asshole. There are no good guys. Not one.”

Hannah groaned in annoyance and crossed her arms. Sam stayed close, ready to defend or back up her best friend if it was needed. They both stared Josh down but he didn’t look like he was here for a fight or a lecture. He didn’t meet either of their eyes and instead looked around as if counting people. He sighed deeply a third time as if he didn’t like the answer he came up with.

He turned back to them, “But it’s a sliding scale. Some guys are bigger assholes than others. Think of it as a one to ten rating.”

He swallowed hard, “So could you maybe just do me a favor and try to avoid any of them over a four? Anyone higher isn’t good enough for you and I’d like to have to break as few heads as possible when they fuck up. I'd rather see you with a guy who is at least aware of how shitty he is. That way he might actually treat you alright. As best as assholes can.”

Hannah gaped at him and Sam knew she was doing the same. Josh was giving Hannah permission to date. Not that Hannah needed his permission. Perhaps a better word was blessing. Without saying the words Josh was saying ‘I’m done, I’ll leave you alone.’

"And just remember that if you want anything or you're hurt or confused, you can talk to me. I know a lot about asshole guys as I'm at least a seven on the scale. You do you but don't forget that I'm here if you need me or whatever." 

“Oh, Joshy,” Hannah said in a surgery voice.

“Don’t call me that,” he groaned. Josh’s face twisted in annoyance.

Hannah ignored that as she came around the table to hug him tightly. Reluctantly Josh hugged her back. As soon as he had her in his arms though he hugged her to him tight as if he never wanted to let her go. In that moment Sam understood how hard this was for him. If this experience had taught her anything it was that caring about someone sometimes meant worrying about them too much. Josh let her go just as Matt made it over to them.

“Hey, guys what are we all talking about?” he asked then looked at Hannah, “Looks like you’re having fun.”

“I am,” she cheered as she hugged him close. Hannah was an affectionate drunk.

“Cheers to that then,” Matt said holding up his beer and Hannah knocked her cup into it still hugging him with one arm.

Looking over Sam saw Josh was not happy with this scenario. She rolled her eyes as it seemed he still had a long way to go on the ‘Hannah dating’ front. Matt and Hannah were taking drinks between giggles. That forced Josh to finally look away and say, “I’m going to get a stiff drink. I’ll catch you guys later.”

“Later, bro.” “Later, man.” Hannah and Matt called to him as he left. Sam looked at them as they cried “jinx” even though they had said different things. It was pretty cute. They started to laugh again as they argued over which of them had said it first. Sam watched Josh and then hopped out of her seat.

“I’m going to catch up with Beth,” she said as she left. Once again the both called a goodbye to her and once again they called “jinx” as she left. Those two cuties had more in common than either of them probably knew. She jogged to catch up with Josh and tapped him on the back. He turned to look at her.

“What’s up?” he asked forcing his face to soften.

Sam didn’t know why she chased after him so she was surprised when she asked, “Are you gonna be okay?”

Josh looked back at Matt and Hannah so clearly flirting in their drunken states behind her. He shrugged and sighed, “In about five shots, yeah.”

“Beth is over by the coolers if you wanna go find her with me,” she suggested with a kind smile.

“Sure but do me a favor a keep your hands off her as much as you can.”

“I make no such promise,” she said as they walked off to find Beth together and Josh slung his arm around her shoulder in a friendly way.

“Then promise to be my drinking buddy tonight,” he said as they pushed their way through the crowd, “Chris is way too busy trying to get hit dick wet to hang out with me.”

There was no malice behind his words when he said it so she assumed that was a good sign. Wherever Chris was Josh wasn’t mad at him anymore. From the way he’d put his arm around her in such a playful way she felt like maybe Chris wasn’t the only one Josh had “forgiven.” It was nice to know she and Josh might be on the path back to friendship as well. Sam smiled back in the direction of Hannah and Matt whom she could only barely still see over people’s heads as they were both fairly tall. She turned to look at Josh again walking with her like old times.

Tonight had been a good night for making friends.

* * *

Chris was happy things had mostly worked out with Josh. They weren’t fighting anymore anyway and that was the most important part. He hoped things worked out with him and Hannah. He also hoped things worked out with him and Ashley. Chris was being ridiculous just like Josh said. If he wanted Ashley, and he wanted Ashley more than anything, he had to get off his ass and do something about it. That was exactly what he planned to do.

It took Chris awhile to find her and when he did he was surprised where exactly she had ended up. He walked into the room, free of people except for her with most of the lights still turned off. He sneaked up behind her sitting on the bench of the bay window. She had opened the middle window and was looking down at the party. She couldn’t hear him over the noise coming in the window. He cleared his throat when he was right behind her. She jumped.

“You know,” he said as she blushed, looking up at him, “Usually you have to pay good money to get a pretty girl sent up to your bedroom.”

“Sorry,” she said, standing as if to walk to the door, “I wanted to be alone. I didn’t think about how rude this is. I’ll leave.”

Chris stepped into her path before she got too far. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. You can stay.”

She sat down quickly and curled her legs against her chest. She was still blushing as he took a seat next to her on the bench. She leaned back against the wall as she went back to watching the party. He twisted around to do the same as her. For some time they watched the party in silence.

“Are you okay?” she finally asked turning to look his way and he met her gaze.

“In what way?” he asked instead of answering because he genuinely didn’t know how she had meant it. She pointed her feet inward and he noticed she had taken her shoes off. She bat her toes together as she stared at them and thought of what to say. She was the most adorable girl in existence. She simply had to be.

“In any way,” she said, glancing up at him. He shifted on the bench closer to her.

“Physically, I’m fine,” he answered, “And emotionally I’m doing better. Josh and I worked things out. I think anyway. We’re not fighting anymore.”

Ashley breathed a sigh of relief, “Good! I was getting so sick of you two. Do you know what it’s like being trapped between your two best friends?”

“No,” he said with a smirk, “What’s it like?”

She rolled her eyes and then answered, “Hard. It’s hard.”

“Sorry, we’re done now though.” He reached back to close the window just a bit to block the noise. She shifted her legs down and moved closer to him. She gazed up at him with her large green eyes. She was very close to him and it was like electricity vibrated off their bodies and onto the other person. The air between them was heavy. Their eyes stayed locked together.

“Do you promise?” she asked and slowly he felt himself nod. She nodded back and her eyes flickered to his lips then his chest and then back up to his eyes. With a sad, tiny smile and an outbreath she leaned away again. She felt it but thought he didn’t.

“I promise” he answered while he was shifting closer to her to cover the distance she had made between them. He was close enough to her to be leaning over her in a way that was almost threatening. She was tiny and curled up in the corner of his bay window. Her face was half covered in shadow from the fact that his desk lamp was the only one on in the room and it was on the opposite side from them.

“Ashley,” he more breathed than said shoring up every last bit of nerve he had inside him, “We can’t keep ignoring this.”

“Ignoring what?” she asked, seeming honestly confused.

He swallowed and waved his hand gently between them as he said, “This. I know it’s here and you know it’s here. We can’t- I don’t want to ignore this anymore. You feel it. I know you feel it. And I know you don’t think I do right now but I feel it. We can't- We shouldn’t ignore it.”

She took a deep breath and leaned out of the corner towards him. She looked like she was elated to hear that. She looked like a child who had been granted a free day off school unexpectedly. She ended up almost sitting in his lap as she came towards him. He felt her body heat pulsing off of her. He usually didn’t like to be close to people. With Ashley though everything was different.

“Okay so then what do we do?” she asked. He could smell alcohol on her breath and from the look in her eyes knew she’d at least finished her liquor from before.

“I don’t know,” he answered very quietly. Except he did know and she knew and they could both feel it about to happen. They knew it was coming shortly before his lips pressed against hers for the first time.

Chris always hated kissing. Despite the claims of him being great at it, he couldn’t think of a single time he had actually enjoyed it. At worst it was weird and at best he felt nothing. He realized at that moment with Ashley it was because he’d never experienced a good kiss. Or rather a kiss he wanted. That made all the difference for him.

She tasted like whisky from her drinking and peach from her lip gloss which also made her lips slightly sticky. Her lips were full and soft. Her kiss was firm at first but not in the rigid forced way like his last kiss had been. They softened not long after he first kissed her. She gave way to his lips quickly and soon her mouth was simply being receptive to his kiss.

He took a short breath when she pulled away. She blew air out hard as if processing what happened then sucked more back in quickly. They stared into each other’s eyes but neither of them spoke as they came together for another kiss only for it to be followed by yet another then another then another and again another. Pauses and breaths in-between got shorter and heavier as they continued to kiss. At some point he’d wrapped hands around her sides and she had grabbed his shoulders. He had only made-out with someone to this extent one other time and it had not been nearly as good.

Maybe it would be better for them to talk. Kissing felt great but they were kissing without context. Neither of them knew what this meant or what they wanted or what happened when they stopped. Although stopping seemed like a far off concept. Chris never wanted to stop. He had never wanted anything more than he wanted to never stop kissing this girl. Or so he thought anyway. Up until her hands moved from his shoulders to claw down his chest to bottom of his shirt. She undid the lowest few buttons and pushed her hands under it to-

He pulled away from her hands almost violently, asking quickly, out of breath and almost in a panic, "Do you want to have sex?”

Ashley looked at him confused before a blush graced her cheeks. She stayed in his personal space as she shyly replied, “Oh. Um, okay. I wasn't thinking we were going to… do that.”

She touched his leg on his inner thigh just above his knee after she said it. She shifted close to him once again, “I was kinda thinking we’d just go with this, you know. Follow our instincts.” Her pink glow turned red as she said, “I’m certainly not against it going there though.”

She was back to almost sitting in his lap as she went to continue their make-out session. He pulled away and pushed her back by her shoulders to separate them, “No. Ash, I wasn't offering. I was more checking if you wanted that. If you were expecting me to… you know.”

“I don’t know. Maybe,” she answered and he felt her other hand playing with the top buttons of his shirt. Semi-drunk Ashley of course had fewer inhibitions than sober Ashley did.

He gently pulled her hands off of him and slid enough away from her so that their bodies weren’t touching. He kept hold of her hands though as he explained, “Ashley, I really like you. A lot. You make me smile. You laugh at my jokes. Just seeing you makes my day better. I've never been more happy or more comfortable with another person. And I want us- I don't know. I want something.”

She looked a little confused but he could also see what he said made her happy. She was hiding a lovely smile under her curiosity. Seeing her like this and holding her hands was almost too much for his heart to take. Which is why he felt guilty saying, “But I don't know how I feel about all this physical stuff.”

“I’ve never.” He took a breath, “I’ve never felt this way before and I mean never. I’ve always thought kissing was gross and that dating looked like nothing but a headache and eventually a heartache.”

She moved closer, quiet and listening. He couldn't read her facial expression but she stayed by him. He held her hands tightly in his as he continued. “I’ve never understood what it meant to be… attracted to someone else.”

He looked to the side as he couldn't look at her as he explained, “I’ve never thought any celebrities were hot. I’ve never checked somebody out. I’ve never fantasized about being with someone in bed before. I’ve never watched porn. I’ve barely ever touched myself and when I do it's because I feel like I have to and even if feels great it's still almost mechanical.”

He realized what he'd said and looked at her, embarrassed. Her eyes went wide and so did his as he nervously added, “But you didn't need to know that part. My- my point was I've never understood why people do that stuff.”

She shook her head looking a little disappointed again, “Okay so this type of thing isn't for you. I'm not asking you to force yourself to be with me because I'm sad. I’ll get over this. I’ll be okay.”

“No,” he groaned, “No that's not what I mean.”

“So what is?”

“I want to be with you, Ashley,” Chris finally confessed, “I want to be around you. I want to kiss you. I want to… touch you. I think about us being together in ways I’ve never thought about with anyone before. For the first time I know what it means to want someone. Because I want you.”

“Wow,” she said and he couldn't really blame her for being a tiny bit overwhelmed by all that. She knew though and so the burden was off his shoulders and all he could do was wait.

“That’s a- I have to say that’s a lot to put on someone,” she said but she looked a little smug as she said, “Although it's also kinda flattering to know you like me as much as you do.”

“I do like you. A lot.”

“I like you a lot, too.”

“And I want to,” He swallowed hard feeling so incredibly embarrassed, “I want to do all the things couples do with you. And I mean all of the things.”

She bit her lip and her eyes went a little glassy. He hoped she knew meant dates and dances and that stuff in addition to the physical aspect of things. Though he trusted that she did.

“I just need to ease into it,” he said, “If that's okay.”

“We can do that. I don't mind if you need to be a little cautious with all this. I just want to be with you.”

“I want to be with you, too.”

She nodded pulling their bodies up against each other again, “So does that mean we're like a thing now?’

He laughed, “I think it means that I’m out of raisins.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I guess I have to give you a date instead.”

“Oh my God!” she laughed joyfully, “How long have you been saving that one?”

“I'm too embarrassed to admit it.”

“Well don’t you worry. It payed off. I would love to go out with you.” Her eyes were half-lidded and she smiled up at him with all her teeth. He couldn't help but lean down to kiss her again. He kissed her long and took joy in actually wanting it for once in his life.

Ashley’s eyes were closed as he leaned back and she sighed, “That's okay then? Kissing I mean. That's okay?"

“Yeah,” he answered going in to kiss her again. “This is okay. I just need to go slow."

"Slow?" she asked a little flirtatiously, "Okay, I can do slow."

She followed up with pulling him to her to kiss him slowly, exploring and indulging in his lips and tongue. She ran her hands all along his shoulders, chest and biceps equally as softly and exploritory, eventually letting one hand crawl up the back of his neck and head to bury her fingers in his hair to gently scratch his scalp. It was sensual and sexy and Chris was shocked by how much he enjoyed it. Because he really, _really_ enjoyed it.

"Slow enough?" she whispered when she pulled back from him, her voice breathy and dreamy.

"Yeah," he basically gasped, "That- this works."

Chris got too excited after a kiss that intense and almost dived back down to kiss her again. He slipped and pinned her to the bench by mistake. That might have been sexy if they hadn't fell so haphazardly and knocked their heads together. He pulled back quickly.

“Ow,” she said as she rubbed her head. Their fall left them disheveled and sprawled in a strange but not uncomfortable position. Neither of them made any move to untangle themselves so it couldn't have been that bad. She looked okay. Although his eyes fell to her bowtie which he’d broken and he felt a little bad about that.

“Oops, sorry,” he said motioning to it. She felt around her neck to find what he meant by that until her hand hit it. She pulled it off to toss away.

“It’s whatever,” Ashley laughed, “It's fake anyway.”

“Besides,” she added, wrapping one hand around his neck to bring their faces close to her and pointing from the collar if his button up shirt to her dress' similar collar, “We match now.”

“Yeah, we do.”

Chris spent the rest of his night kissing and touching the only girl he'd ever wanted in all the ways he'd ever wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback always welcome!


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